Dealing with disappointment

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Dealing with disappointment
6
Wed, 09-24-2003 - 12:11am

Ever since they are little these little disapointments come up.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Wed, 09-24-2003 - 6:04am

(((((((HUGS)))))))


I'm so sorry you're having a hard time right now. You sound like I felt last week when it became appearent that Jade wasn't going to do as well as I had hoped in GS. I just kept thinking "Geez, isn't there anything normal she's going to have to look back on later and life and say 'that was cool'". But then it hit me. She doesn't look at the world the same way I do anyway, so why should she value the same experiences?


Jade is just old enough to have a few things she looks back on already. Some are good things and some are not so good. But I have good and not so good memories of my childhood too. I remember going to the Grand Canyon with some friends and para sailling to the bottom, that was cool. I remember going to a party my friend was throwing and her boyfriend slipped and broke his arm so badly he had to have it amputated. That was way not cool. I remember going to the local high school's football games. To be honest those ones are nuetrals, not good or bad, just there. I remember my first kiss. Cool. I remember not going the distance in the Kindo League and missing out on the regional title. Not cool. I also remember going back the next year and not only claiming the regional but the national as well. Very cool. I remember failing my debate final in high school, loosing my boyfriend to a girl I thought was a good friend, and being picked on by all the other kids b/c I was super tall. All of those were 'not cool', but they were character building. I also remember my grandmother's homemade cookies, my Mom's famous habit of inviting every stray college student in a 50

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Wed, 09-24-2003 - 3:38pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 9:38am
Renee,

I am sorry for the trial and tribulations. It is very hard to watch your child struggle to be accepted. I have had it a little with Peter, mostly with soccer coaches and unknown children. It is really heartbreaking to have to watch your child struggle to gain acceptance, and to feel so helpless to do anything. You want to shake the child and say "PLAY with him already! Just shut up and PLAY" (which would be rather purpose-defeating in itself!).

I may be wrong, but I get the impression from your post, that you didn't confront or question these people to any degree. Personally, I think you let them off too lightly with blatant discrimination. This is not a criticism, because everyone has a different personality, and are guided by that; but boy, I would have laid so much guilt at their door that they would've been saying 'Hail Marys' for months -even the Jewish ones!

As for the acting: rather than give it up entirely, perhaps you and Cait may be able to find another group, which is a bit less unaccepting?

Good luck

-Paula (who wants to kick some theatre-loving butt!)



-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 2:37pm

Actually my original post was before I emailed the director of the group.

Photobucket
Avatar for maresgood
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 9:03pm
Renee, sorry to hear about the play. I feel for you & Cait. We'll probably be in the same situation this yr. Sarah has a 6th gr. play this yr. in May. She wants to go out for a speaking part. My older dd went thru all the auditions when she was in 6th gr. & after a few callbacks ended up as a townsperson without a speaking part.She cried & cried. I can just see what Sarah will end up with! Probably passing out the programs. Because of her IEP & labeling of AS, she will end up with nothing I'm sure. She was in a few plays @ her Montessori School, but it won't matter... Your doing GREAT with the weight loss girl...keep it up. I wish I could lose a few myself (10 or 20) Take Care, MaryAnn
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Thu, 09-25-2003 - 11:50pm
Renee,

I shouldn't have under-estimated you.

I hate the bigots who know where the line is and the appropriate PC wording. I't really frustrating. You spend all your mental energy trying to catch them out!

It's too bad he is such a jerk, it's a good idea to have the teacher speak to him also. Maybe it will do some good for the next child, if not for Cait.

Baby steps... (and LOTS of them)

-Paula


-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com