Dealing with predjudice in PRESCHOOL?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Dealing with predjudice in PRESCHOOL?
5
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 1:46pm

I am so angry and hurt. I have already eaten 3 cupcakes today! Our BSC went to daughters preschool for monthly observation. She calls me later that day and tells me that our daughter has mastered her social and transitioning goals and is close to mastering her other goals as well, she is doing great!

Here is the bad news, she informs me that she and my daughters TSS have heard the teacher make some inappropriate comments about our daughter on more than one occasion.

The school "philosphy" child centered/child choice which means the kids can do whatever they want. My daughter has been making through this complete lack of structure amazingly. Not surprisingly the class she is in which is full of 3 and 4's gets quite silly, loud and crazy at times and the teacher loses control of the kid's. On several occasions when this happens the teacher has looked at her TSS and said something like "Maybe you could give her a fidget toy or something?" or "Boy she seems really OFF today?" "I wonder why". My daughter's TSS has told me that she is NOT the instigator of these outbursts she just joins in with the other kids because she likes to play with them! DUH! Also our BSC mentioned that there are a few other kids in the class who are definitly ASD but have never been dx'd and are not getting services and they are out of hand too, but our daughter gets blamed because we follow through and do what is best!!!!

Our BSC said that she feels sorry for us because usually you don't have to deal with your child being unfairly treated because of a label until elem. school. but we are dealing with it now. We PAY for our daughter to go there! UGH! I could just scream!

My daughter loves her school and has friends there. I would hate to switch her next year. She only has 1 yr left before Kinder. but I don't know if I can stand another year in this place.

Thanks for listening to my rant!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2006
Wed, 02-14-2007 - 9:28pm

Call a IEP meeting.
Express what was said and you will NOT tolerate it.
That is NOT fair to you and your state of mind, and your sweet child who is trying to get a fair chance of an education.

good luck
nora

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 12:10am

Kellyanne


I'd send a letter of complaint to the director of the school, expressing in strong terms that behaviour of that sort is

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 9:00am


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 9:29am

Thanks for the suggestions. The problem is that our BSC asked me not to say anything. I am not sure why. I was so mad when she told me that I don't think I heard anything else after that. I think maybe our TSS knows how to handle the teacher but they just wanted to mention it to us FYI. I need to talk to the TSS and let her know that she has our full support to defend our daughter while she is the classroom with her.

It just makes me so mad that our daughter IS bahaving and doing everything right and the other kids can do whatever they want and just because they don't have a DX the teacher lets it slide or thinks my daughter caused a problem when she didn't!!!

I have always hated and avoided conflict. I guess I am going to have to start getting comfortable with it. At least my husband isn't bothered by confrontation. He is always the one doing the fighting, but I think I need to start speaking my mind as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-15-2007 - 10:31am

Actually, I would say it is more common to deal with that kind of prejudice in preschool than elementary school particularly when that school is private.

Preschool teachers in general are not given any work in special needs. They do not understand it at all. Often they only need early childhood credits and not full degrees. They also more rarely have children with special needs in their facilities. Some may but many do not. Many kids with disabilities will attend a special needs preschool or their needs will not yet be identified. Kids who are not identified are often kicked out of one preschool after another.

Still either way it totally rots for your and your dd. How much longer does she have before she is kindie. Will she go to preschool for another year? If so is there another preschool where you can place her? If you ask the school district folks that are working on her case they may know the local preschools that tend to take more and work better with SN kids. She sounds like she does well in a typical preschool but there may be one that is more accustomed to special children.

Renee

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