did I handle this right?

Avatar for betz67
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Registered: 03-26-2003
did I handle this right?
7
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 5:47pm

I got an email from yet another teacher of Weston's today. It basically stated that he seemed very down today, sad and had a very hard time working. I tried to explain that he really is overwhelmed by school and doesn't want to be there. He was much happier being home where he was comfortable during the holiday break. Even though he's been back several days he hasn't gotten settled back in yet.

She also said "Sometimes he chooses not to do his work because he doesn't have a pencil and will not ask me for one until I come over to ask him why he is not working. Is there something that we can do to help this situation? He is such a smart boy and I really hate that his grades do not reflect it just because he can't find things."

my reply-- "We are sharpening some pencils and putting them in his binder so he'll have some for a little while.

Intellectually, he is at a 6th grade level or above, however emotionally, social, organizationally, and executive functionally he's very immature. He's handling things as well as he can right now. Coming to ask for a pencil may be beyond his problem solving skills when there are so many other kids around and he's overwhelmed by every thing that is going on. In his mind, it might just be his solution to the problem to wait until you come to ask him why he's not working, it solves his inability to approach someone of authority in a situation in which he's not fully comfortable or leave his seat when he's supposed to be in it working or whatever other reason he has that seems plausible to him. He doesn't necessarily think of it as a choice to not do the work, but he's waiting until you fulfill your part of his worked out solution. He has often explained his side of a situation like this to me when I ask why he didn't do something. I'm not sure I have any suggestions for helping him, I just know that he really doesn't want to be obstinate most of the time, he just doesn't think about situations the same way most of us even most kids his age would."

I tried to call the resource teacher/IEP chair. But she wasn't in today, so I left a voice mail for her. I really think we need to do some big changes in the IEP and maybe even get creative w/ his placement.

Betsy

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Registered: 06-25-2003
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 6:28pm

Betsy,


Yes I think you handled it right.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:22pm

I think you handled it really well.

                                

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 01-07-2008 - 9:57pm

Betsy,


Yes, I think you handles it right. Jake is in 9th grade this year and really having a hard time-he has NO executive function! We have sent

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 12:11pm

You did a beautiful job of handling this situation, Betsy.

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 12:37pm

What everybody else said goes the same for Josh.


Everyone around him in school truly thinks Josh can do it. Just a little more effort. Just needs to be a little bit more organized etc.


I am finally startting to realize that maybe Joshua really just can't. I know that deep down he is smart and all. But I ma not sure if he is just plan lazy some times or just hides behind it.


Like everyother teen aspie(scary but this month Josh will be a teenager) Josh's executive function sucks. I am told that Option 1 may not be good for Josh because the kids in there tend to have more behavioral. Josh is not a behavioral problem as far as acting out. He tends to internalize

Avatar for betz67
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 2:48pm

The teacher emailed me back thanking me for helping her understand him better. She's a good teacher who happens to be just 2 years out of school. She has a full load of middle schoolers and they gave her 2 difficult classes this year (one being the class W is in). I guess it's loud and confusing most of the time. She is sweet and takes the time most days to help Weston find what he needs or organize his binder-- but this really isn't her job and it takes away from other things she needs to be doing, it's not in the IEP for her to do this (he really needs an aide)-- she was hoping that he would start to do these things himself so she let him try for a month or so w/o her doing it for him. Someday, she'll be a really good teacher because she does 'get things' after she's experienced them w/ Weston, she's still in the "haven't seen that yet stage".

Thanks for all the kind words. I do think that we're the trail blazers when it comes to kids w/ high functioning autism in this school district. There are only a few that have been fully mainstreamed before us and Weston is teaching them what they'll have to do to be ready for the kids coming behind. We know there are many coming behind because I have a friend that teachs Kindergarten in the autism program in the district. More and more families w/ autistic kids are moving to our district to be in this program. They're getting very good therapy and moving more kids to the mainstream and into their home schools part way through elementary school because of the good therapy and better supports but the home schools and middle schools are not really ready for them... sigh. I really didn't sign up to be a trail blazer!

Betsy

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Registered: 11-28-2006
Tue, 01-08-2008 - 9:42pm
I'm so glad to hear you had a happy ending with this teacher