Difficult to trust and let go!!
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| Wed, 01-03-2007 - 12:30pm |
Hi Everyone! Hope you all enjoyed your holidays.
I was just wondering if any of you have or are going through this.....
My daughter 4 was diagnosed PDDN NOS last year. This whole year she has been working very hard with speech therapists, behavior therapist, and OT. She attends a regular preschool and enjoys it and is doing great. We could not be more pleased with all the prgress she has made.
Here is the hard part for me, she loves to be around other kids now and play with them. She runs right up to a group of kids anywhere and just joins in or will even ask "can I play with you guys?" I tend to hover around her. She has even starting looking at me or my husband when we watch over her and saying "Mommy, I am playing,...please go over there." "Daddy you stay here in our yard, I will be right over there, you stay daddy."
I am having a very hard time letting her go on her own and not being there to intervene if things get rocky but I know she needs to be independent.
Does anyone know what I mean?
Kelly

I dream of the day my DS who has PDD does that.
We do well playing just us but add a child and it's a train wreck.
Cheers to you mom, enjoy it
http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s225/irishwildrose/pp2.jpg
Ah, yes as a matter of fact I do know what you mean! My ds wants social contact sooooo badly. He will run to a group of kids or people. I tend to hover also. Because like you say I may need to intervene but I am also scared he will fall. He is very clumsy and is missing his front tooth from a fall when he was 3. He fell two times recently where my heart dropped to my stomach and I was afraid to look at his face when he got up!
I think it is a good sign that she is aware that she wants a little independence but I know that is hard on you. I would just say okay and stay as far back as you comfortably are able! Would she accept that?
When we went camping it was so difficult. We tried just one night to see how it went. Well, you know how you can always see all the other families at their nearby camp spaces? My ds would NOT stay with us at our campsite. Everytime we would bring him back he would run to be with the other families. It was embarrassing and we felt like why does he want to be with others and not us? He is very curious and loves new things. He kept going up to this young couple and just asking a bunch of questions. By the end I was tired out and did not enjoy the experience like I thought I would. My dh vowed that we would not camp for a long time (forgot to mention that he jumped all over us for at least an hour as we were trying to get to sleep in the tent!).
I may not have much to offer other than I can relate.
Molly
Kelly,
I have problems with this too.
Well, I am at a different point of life but the same issue. DD is now quite a bit older when independence is much more expected and scary. It is hard to let her have the independence she needs to learn but at the same time I have to let her grow up some.
However, rather than just let her have the independence we have tried to prepare her and ourselves for it and think of all the possible scenarios that could be problems. As such she does now have a cell phone, there have been many many social stories, etc.
That said, there are still a large number of things her peers are doing that I don't allow yet. She is NOT ready for that level. For instance, going to the mall or movies with friends, walking to friends houses, and babysitting.
We have to remember that they still are PDD and in many ways they are developmentally behind there peers so while a peer socially may be ready for one level of play, a child with PDD likely is not at that level but rather at the level a few years younger.
For your dd, since she is still young and there are other adults there, I would make sure the adults know and understand your dd's diagnosis and have your cell phone number or easy access to you. That would be the level of support I would provide at her age.
Renee
That is part of the problem. I have not discussed my daughter's dx. with anyone. Not the neighbors or parents of children in her school. I know the parents at school have to realize something is up because at drop off/pick up I am always talking to 2 or more therapists about her progress, getting their notes etc. It would be hard not to see them there unless you are totally blind. And it's a small preschool so everyone has to know these people are not regular staff.
And as far as the neighbors. Well I don't talk to them much, it's a VERY clique street and well big surprise I am not in the clique. I don't know how to go up to one of the mom's and say, "How are you doing." "By the way, Riley was dx.PDD-NOS so she has some delays in social skills and communication." I am amazed at the reaction of anyone I have told, nobody is familiar with PDD at all, and I find it sooooo difficult to explain.
Kelly
I totally know what you mean., My DS was (is) a "bolter" and would take off at the slightest disappointment. And he was fast! Man, that kid could become a disappearing speck on the horizon before you could say "How's about we try it this way?".
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