Disbelief, upset and angry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Disbelief, upset and angry.
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 5:23pm
I don't know exactly how to describe how I am feeling but its not a good feeling let me tell you. I just had potential playmate number seven back out on my son and I. We have been in the area for about a year and I have been meeting and talking with other moms trying to arrange a regular "playmate/date" for my son. My son is homeschooled and does get out to all the obligatory social activities but he has little one on one with anyone who could be called a special or good friend. The neighborhood we live in leaves much to be desired for any near age-mates and I have been terribly unsucessful in finding one outside the neighborhood. I am beginning to get very discouraged. The problem is that as time goes on my family gets closer and closer to moving back home (we are military about to retire). While at this point I am looking forward to moving back we still have a year left here. I know I must drudge on and keep looking for that family that can commit to a once a week get together but it has gotten so discouraging. I know that everyone has commitments, schooling, music lessons, soccer practice and so on and so on but what happened to good old playtime?!?!?! Sometimes I wonder why should I try so hard because probably by the time I find someone we'll have to move! I've been tossing around some ideas to get some kids over but need to limit the numbers. I've been thinking of offering a once a week class with playtime, or just trying to get a playgroup together. I would love for people to respond but need to limit the group to a small number. Does anyone have any ideas about how I could get my son a one on one playmate that would entice someone to make time for us?? Does this sound pathetic, or what? I am so upset that we have tried this with seven different families and seven times it has fallen apart for various reasons. Does someone have a suggestion for us?

Need to go. Magic Schoolbus video is over.



iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 6:52pm

First of all, (((HUGS)))!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Fri, 10-03-2003 - 8:51pm
There are NO children in our neighborhood! And, the few that are, don't go to Catholic school! Liam has that social thing Aspies have, so this is a BIG issue with me. And, although I am thankful he has had a best friend, it is someone from preschool who would not say Liam is his best friend. I would love for him to, again, have one special friend. I have tried so hard to make this happen! I have a pool, there is a boat and two jet skis at the dock along with a kayak. I WORK it! I invite one or two kids (with siblings) over for an afternoon of dolphin seeking. I take them over to barrier Islands and anchor off! I can get those other mommies to my house like sugar sticks to butter. I have made some great friends. Linnane, my 4 yo daughter, knows the names of at least half the kids in Liam's class. Still, no special friend. Actually, neither one has a special friend.

When these people come over, they all just have a great time. How could you not? NC is heaven on earth! In the summer, think California coast with more sand, less stone, and warm water. this summer, Liam even started interacting with them instead of just that parallel play. Still, no special friend.

Other kids his age just don't "get" him, and, he doesn't even care. It's like, with all his CAPD issues, just being among other mere mortals is just too much work.

Actually, today was a very rare exception. I did lunch duty and recess. He decided he would be the "kissy-huggy monster". He chased these four girls round the playground, and, when he caught them, he hugged or picked them up. (All the cute girls, he's no fool!) They loved it! As usual, he basically ignored the boys. This lasted about half an hour (great for him), then he found the large plastic bucket that all the balls go in, and crawled under it until recess was over. the girls, of course, kept going over to the up-side-down bucket and tried to get him to come out. He didn't; he was done. One of them really got her feelings hurt. So, I tried to get him to come out. But he said his ears hurt. (Some times he's so practical.) He said if he didn't be quiet, they would be awful when recess was done. I just tried to explain it to Holly. I did the Pecachu after a battle scenario.

Also, I am the parent every other parent can count on for free babysitting! I think my them song is "babysitting done for free..." to the tune of AC/DC's Dirty Deeds! My dh gives me flack because I say "great." when folks call, not even a "well, OK." It's "great." And, I expect NOTHING in return!

Anyway, I just want you to know, I so hate this aspect of having a special needs child who gives didly about social interaction. And, I despise the MANY folks who have no idea how important it is to me. (I'd say him, but, really, it's not important to him! I'm just afraid it will be one day!)