Disclosing...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2004
Disclosing...
1
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 2:08pm

What are your thoughts on disclosing?

Joel is in a mainstream 4th grade class with pull-out speech/language, OT and counseling. We have suspected Aspergers for 2 years and now have the diagnosis from our neuropsychologist. Our teacher (wonderful - very compassionate, supportive and understanding!) wants me to tell the classmates about Joel's diagnosis. I want to also. I think it will help some of the kids to understand and tolerate him better. But I have a BIG CONCERN that it will give the mean kids more ammunition! Joel is already a target for bullies. Will disclosing make the situation worse? How should I go about disclosing it?

Please help,

Paula G.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 10:16pm

I disclose particularly in grade school. Think of it this way, if your son is already having social problems in school then he already has labels from the kids. They aren't Aspergers, they are weirdo, geek, and other not nice labels.

Every year Cait was in elementary school they did "Understanding Friends" in her class. Every year they didn't label Cait specifically but I am sure kids understood that she was part of what they were discussing. But it wasn't about one kid or one type of kid in particular. It was more about understanding that there are kids with differences and what that is like. So it covered the kid with diabetes and another with ADHD as well, but it was always done because of Cait.

In 5th grade in the class, Cait herself disclosed that she was Aspergers. She always took part in the class but didn't realize until 4th or 5th that she was part of those differences.

She NEVER mentioned being teased specifically for her AS. She has had problems with kids but typically it would get better after the program was done. Some kids still were mean after because some kids are mean but it wasn't worse or give them more ammo.

However, 2 things. 1) the school had a huge no tolerance to teasing and bullying. When this did happen to my kids the punishment was swift and significant so that would deter bullies from targetting her. and 2) the program didn't singal out Cait specifically. It was understood and I did let them talk about her but it wasn't "Cait is this different kid in your class" but rather "everyone is different. Some people are more different than others and sometimes need some extra help. Cait happens to be one of those kinds of people but there are many"

Heck every year Cait would come home and tell me she understood what it was like to be me because she put on glasses that made her feel blind. Without my glasses I have horrible eyesight (20/400) LOL

Renee

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