Distraction and obsessions

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Distraction and obsessions
6
Mon, 09-05-2005 - 11:33pm

Mike actually today was able to explain to me a little bit of how his brain works and his frustrations. I am trying to figure out what to do with the info and how to help.

He said there are all the things in his head from his whole life and he can't remember what he is doing. That is basically how he explained it. From what I could gather it sounds like he is having obsessive thoughts but kind of random ones. Lots of thoughts all in his head bugging him constantly and giving him a headache is what he said.

This started on a shopping trip similar to this problem. Mike is a horder, but He needs to have his things out. He needs to have order but can focus long enough to create that order. For instance, legos are the bain of my existance. He has one big lego box but freaks if I try to get him to put his legos away in there. He has a pile here and pile there and everywhere! He doesn't even know what he is doing with them. So the shopping trip was to the dollar store to buy shoe box sized containers to put legos in and he can sort them in what ever way works for him.

He actually was able to sit long enough and sort the stuff and said at the end his "headache" was going away.

That worked for lego's but it is around everything. He can't finish his checklist because some movie or video game is in his head. But it seems that there is lots in there at a time. We have done ADHD meds before and he got so obsessed and withdrawn on even a small dose it was awful. We tried OCD meds and he became aggressive and out of control of himself. I have decided not to do meds with him anymore because he does much better without but how do I help this thing in his head?

Renee

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 9:33am

Renee,

I wish I had an idea but honestly, I don't.

I am, however, amazed at Mike's ability to explain what is going on in his head.

CJ has said something similar in the past. He says there is a movie playing in his head most of the time. What movie is playing in his private theatre depends on his current obsession. Right now it is SpongeBob Sqarepants. When DH was in Iraq, it was a minute by minute account of the day he deployed (we didn't watch the news, it would have worried and frightened CJ to death.) Last October, he talked about, in minute detail, the Balloon Fiesta in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

It is so exciting that another child is thinking on a similar plane.

We don't know anyone else with AS or on the spectrum, so seeing similarities between CJ and another child really thrills me.

I'm no help but thank you so much for sharing.

Crystal

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 9:46am

Dear Renee,

Poor baby! This description makes so much sense, somewhat for Malcolm when he is super stressed, and definitely for several of the kids he is with at ASD school.

Isn't it interesting that his headache got better after working on putting away his legos? I wish I had concrete ideas for you, maybe others here will. I have read books where ASD people talk about regular jogging helping to organize their jumbled thoughts. Maybe you and he could take up jogging, see if that helps. I know I do it by writing, journaling.

Actually, it's so exciting that he opened up about this, and what a great opportunity to continue the dialogue, ask him in the moment if thoughts are bugging him and maybe see if there's a way to help him organize and help the headache go away, just like with the legos.

Maybe he can add "shut off movie" onto his checklist when one interferes? Make a dumping ground checklist for the random thoughts in his head? I have always found with Malcolm that adding his current reality to whatever I want to heppen works best in helping him to move forward, KWIM?

Good luck. I will be most interested to hear other people's ideas here.

yours,

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 10:39am

Thanks both,

Mike rarely is able to do this kind of thing so when he does I really enjoy it. It gives me some insight into how to help him. But it is rare.

The problem was and is the communication. He has a very hard time explaining these things in words and when I try to ask questions to have him clarify it often just confuses him. For instance, even the headache. Was it a true "headache" or just a jumble of stuff in his head. A real headache I would give tylenol for but for this it is different and tylenol doesn't work.

It will work out that he will complain of a "headache" and I give tylenol. Then 1/2 hour later he is complaining and obsessing that tylenol doesn't work. The next time I go to give him tylenol he will be angry insisting it doesn't work when in fact in the first place he didn't have an actual "headache" in the first place.

I tried asking him what thoughts are bugging him and he just got upset. He wasn't able to communicate which thoughts, if there were many or one obsessive thought at a time. But it was a start and it seems that organizing things helps him. I guess I just have to crack down and get more organized. I am pretty organized but the kids are so not. Actually they are slobs and trying to keep up is horrible. I am lucky if I can keep the front rooms clean. I need a maid.

Renee

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 10:53am

Renee,

It was awesome hat Mike could express that to you. This may be the first step for him in understanding how to deal with it (Step #1: Know what "it" is).

Well, as a person who was awake at 5am writing and designing a children's book; I know a little of what he is going through, but not to the same extent, obviously.

For me, the key to getting stuff out of my head is to create a record of it elsewhere. I write it down. Otherwise it can stay there or YEARS and drive me completely nuts. Another trick is to record it on an old tape recorder or dictaphone. Once recorded, there is no need to think about it anymore. KWIM?

I always have a song or a piece of music playing in my head. Sometimes it is a poem (The love song of J Alfred Prufrock, to be exact). It is usually backgrounded (don't know if this was a learned skill), but in stressful times can get so loud that I can't focus on much else. I am trying to think what works for me in these situations. I am guessing proprioceptive activities - such as heavy work. Loud music helps me too. I put something LOUD on high volume in the car -replaces the headache with a real one ;)

Busy hands help too -like you can focus the hyperactivity into your hands and background that task, then leave the rest of your mind calm? (Don't know if that makes sense to a non-ADHD person). I used to wear jewelry at school and constantly fiddle with it during class so that my ears could listen to the teacher. Can Mike use fidgets or a chewy necklace at school? I particularly liked things with patterns which cound be maneuvered: chains, spiral jewelry. If I had nothing to play with I would tap my fingers or feet in time with the song in my head, (and get beaten by the nuns for my trouble).

HTH

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 11:31am

I'm learning so much this weekend. Not only about my child, but about me. I say that because what you describe is something I've experienced my whole life. Without going too much into it, what I've always done is collected activities that take up my whole mind, to give myself a break. For me it is things like pottery, carving, and specific types of drawing. I hate painting, but I can sit for hours and draw intricate celtic knots. Later I found that higher level Physics, math and computer programming accomplished the same things for me. Writing and even reading don't (which may explain why I was a C student when I got my English degree and an A student when I studied Physics). Cleaning the house most certainly doesn't! LOL. What might help is to encourage your son to find that kind of activity so that he can get a rest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Tue, 09-06-2005 - 2:53pm

Renee,

Nathan has that same communication dilemma. If I ask him questions when he's trying to explain things to me...he just gets more confused. He's got a new phrase, "uh, never mind." He can't seem to get the words out right, then he just gives up. I try to work with him.....and sometimes he can get it out, other times he just gets frustrated.

He has told me that he thinks of ALOT of things all at once. He says his mind goes really fast too. I can actually see it just by looking at him too. When I give him medicine, like for a cold, if the med doesn't start working when "He" thinks it should....he goes on and on about it too. "It's not working, it's not working!" LOL

Nathan doesn't complain of headaches though. Never has actually. He doesn't even say anything about his head hurting, even when he's sick. I have to watch him, especially during the winter months. He won't tell me if he's feeling sick.

I wish there was a way to "slow" things down in his little head. I think it would help alot! Too much thinking, too much obsessing. Nathan keeps things forever too. His bedroom is packed full of stuff. And he likes little toys, so he has tons of toys from fast food restaurants too. Most of the stuff he doesn't play with, but he doesn't let me get rid of it. And I wouldn't dare!!!!! I'd HEAR IT til eternity!! LOL

Michelle