Do you let them "line up" their toys??

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Registered: 02-24-2004
Do you let them "line up" their toys??
8
Sat, 08-27-2005 - 8:28pm

Nathan's been lining up his toys....he's been real stressed this summer. All of his rescue heroes are lined up, with all their gear on too. I think they're in some kind of order too. I've just left them there. I read on another board that by leaving it there you're actually giving into their obsession/stim etc. Is that true? I always felt that it calmed him down. Making his world more orderly helps him to relax.

I guess you could look at it either way. He doesn't sit there all day, obsessing or guarding them. But I think it feels good for him to walk into his room and see them all lined up. His collection of toothbrushes are lined up in the bathroom. I leave them alone too. The only time I have him pick things up....is when I have to vacuum.

What do all of you do?? Leave it alone or pick it up?

Michelle

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Registered: 03-27-2003

I would say it's okay to leave them there. I dont think thats giving in, it's helping him to feel in control of things that he can control. As a kid I always lined up my stuffed animals. I dont know why, but it was a part of me being me.

Amanda

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Registered: 03-26-2003

I leave them there totally. Unless it is affecting his ability to function in life I don't mess with stims. They are not hurting anyone and may be helping the person with autism cope. The only thing it is doing is looking "different" to those of us who have decided we are "normal".

The only time I would address something like that is if he had to spend so much time lining that he couldn't get out the door for school etc. Same with stimming, if it kept them from learning or being able to function to thier fullest ability.

There are many adults that will tell you that stimming in different ways helps them organize thier brain. Many learn to hold it in until they are in a safe place like home but they may really need to do it there to destress. Temple grandin and her squeeze machine. Donna (oh the gorrilla nation author) talks about going into dark rooms after a long day.

Keep home as a safe place trust me. Let him stim and obsess there unless it affects his ability to function. For instance, Mike has these stim things he likes to do. He can do them with his checklist as long he keeps doing his checklist. If he stops and just stims then I intervene and get him back on track.

Renee

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Registered: 06-25-2003

Michelle,

I agree with that old song which states there is a time for everything. (for every day... (turn turn turn) there is a reason (or is it "season".. I forget)...oops! Digressing!)

A time to pick them up, a time to leave them.

Follow your gut. I say, if it keep him calm through all this change, then he is trying to assert some level of conrtrol over his surroundings, and to let it be for now.

In a time of less stress, you may want to try mixing things up, but personally, I strongly believe in choosing my battles, and now; with school starting etc., may not be the best time for one.

Laer, in a time of relative calm, when you want to start breaking some of the lining behaviour, you might want to start with *one* thing, which is not directly "owned" by Nathan

...like the kitchen faucet ;).

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
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Registered: 03-26-2003

Good points paula.

Yeah, yeah, what she said. i agree.

Renee

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Registered: 02-24-2005

Michelle,

I tend to let Chase line up his toys when he feels stressed. Our only real problem arises when his three year old brother decides to rearrange things and then it's meltdown city. It's not realistic for me to expect a three year old to not touch toys, some of which are his. I try to explain to Chase that we understand that these things are very important to him but he has to be a little flexible or he might not be able to keep friends as he grows up. It's hard to tell a 7 yo that but it is the truth and it's much easier to learn that lesson in a loving environment than when he's at a friend's house. It's a very stressful event because he cries like someone is torturing him and begs for me to make his brother stop but it just doesn't seem fair to allow that to happen. His sister gets it though(she's 6) and while she resents it sometimes, she has learned to work around Chase's quirkiness and avoid moving anything he has "created." Has anyone ever noticed that lining up toys is rarely mentioned, if ever, on any autistic measurement scale? Anyone know why that is? I'm hoping Suzi might know. Regards, Vicky

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Registered: 03-26-2003

I totally agree w/ Paula! we let things like this go until we have to pick up. (all my boys have things they organize and line up and melt when someone else messes it up) I've also created spaces where it's even a GOOD thing to line up the toys and therefore it helps Weston be better than his siblings, at organizing his toys and keeping them organized and picked up. A space where that's the correct thing to do.

I also agree w/ Renee. At home we don't interfere w/ Weston's stimming unless it's interfering w/ something he has to do--homework, getting ready for school, chores.

Betsy

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Registered: 10-24-2003

Jake only occassionally engages in lining things up anymore these days but when he does, I will let it go while he is doing it and allow him to keep it lined up for a day or two.

Pat

Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response. --

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Registered: 06-25-2003
Bumping this up for Mary
-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com