Does this sound familiar ??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2003
Does this sound familiar ??
3
Sun, 06-29-2003 - 10:30am
Just wondering if any of this sounds familiar.

My 21 month old daughter is still in the process of being diagnosed. She has already beed diagnosed with sensory intergration dysfunction and a speech delay. One of the other possibilties is PDD,which we are awaiting more evaluations and doctors apts. for.

When she is in an enviroment where she feels secure she is for the most part pretty easy going. She does have a pretty bad seperation issue still and certainly won't let most people into her personal space. I can hug her as long as it's not to tight. She will smile and wave at most anyone out in public, as long as they don't get to close. She has an older sister and brother who she follows around like a parrot. But recently has started to exhibit different behaviors. For example, yesterday we went to the grocery store and much to my dismay she kept laying on the floor. I should add that it was the brown specks of color on the floor she was obsessed with. She won't sit in a cart in the store, so the whole experience is difficult anyway and then she did this. She must have done it at least 5 times before I just got feed up picked her up screaming and crying and kept walking with her. This isn't the first time it happened either. The rest of the day she spent screaming holding my leg and we also had a 20 minute hand washing episode.

The other thing she does that has me concerned is that she seems to have a strong attachment to our neighbor. Now this is a person who we spend some time with but not enough to have a reactions as strong as hers. If she sees her she automaticaly waves bye bye to me and blows me a kiss and starts to scream if I don't leave. Our poor neighbor can't even move a step without my daughter screaming and grabbing onto her for dear life because she is afraid she will leave. The other day my daughter held her breath for so long because the neighbor had to go inside she started to turn blue.

Just wondering to any of you who have already been diagnosis, does this sound familar?

Concered mom, just trying to figure things out,

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sun, 06-29-2003 - 11:03am
Hi Amy!! :waving hand hysterically:

I do! I do!! Although my daughter has never laid on the floor in the grocery store, she has in the auto part store, and LOVES to in the airport. I think she tries to find the nastiest floor she can to lay on. And i have a cleaning obsession, so i end up pulling out baby wipes and giving her a wipe down right there. Usually she wants to follow some pattern on the floor, so i try not to be too hard on her. But it is hard to keep her clean! (all my friends joke and tell me i have the cleanest kid in America).

But as far as the neighbor. OH MAN. I have that one NAILED. We moved into this apartment at the end of April. We met our upstairs neighbor right about that time. Now, we know ALL of the neighbors in our section. There are 6 apartments total. But our upstairs neighbor, Cindy, is the one Catie is obsessed with. If she sees Cindy out in the parking lot, she starts to run back and forth through the house, chanting her name. If Cindy comes to the door, Catie automatically will go outside with her and take her hand and tell me bye bye. When we go up to Cindy's house, it is ALWAYS a major freak out when we leave. When we go somewhere in seperate cars, Catie automatically goes to Cindy's car and insists on riding with her. If she is placed into our car, she cries "Cindy! Cindy!" the whole time.

When we came back from California this past weekend, Cindy picked us up from the airport. Catie was having trouble staying focused through the airport, so i told her we had to go outside and find Cindy. She started running through the airport, yelling "Cindy! Cindy! Where are you???" It was actually pretty cute. But it can be QUITE annoying when we need to get out and go somewhere and Cindy is out on the curb with her kids. Or when Cindy just needs to borrow some eggs or sugar, Catie has a major meltdown. I have asked for Cindy to always call before she comes down, so if it is something simple like borrowing an egg, i can just place it outside the door.

Cindy (who substitutes for autistic children during the school year) figured out something that works for Catie. And that is, whenever Cindy has to leave Catie, she always gives her a chocolate kiss. Yes, she has to bring a chocolate kiss to my house even if she will just be here a minute. But it really seems to work. Catie has made the connection that when Cindy has to go away, she gives Catie a piece of candy, and she will see her again next time.

Catie leaves Cindy's house willingly, takes the stairs on her own. And she has no problems with Cindy leaving our house. She will even blow her kisses before the door closes.

You may want to try something like this. It has to come from your neighbor though. And as much as i HATE giving food as reward, it really has helped with Catie's anxiety when Cindy leaves. Things are better for Catie, for Cindy, and for me. I am blessed to have a great neighbor who understands how Catie works, and is sometimes one step ahead of me.

Hope this helps a little

Helen

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2003
Sun, 06-29-2003 - 11:49am
Hi Helen,

Wow!!!!!!!!! your daughter seems alot like my little Madison.

It's nice to know we are not alone.


We also live in an apartment and Julie lives upstairs, Maddie calls her JuJu.

I like the candy idea, although I generally agree about not giving food as a reward but I am really desperate on this issue. Sometimes I dreed the idea of even running into Julie. I also think Julie will be willing to try anything, it breaks her heart to see Madison so upset. I guess this just all goes with the territory.

Thanks again,

Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sun, 06-29-2003 - 9:34pm
As far as the food thing goes, Catie's Psychologist said that she needs a "chemical reaction". So, as much as i have tried visual (a movie on tv, a book, a new toy), he says she needs something that will chemically change and stimulate her. Food is the first thing that comes to mind. He also mentioned things like feathers, furry rugs, fuzzy blankets, etc. Something that chemically changes in her brain. Unfortunately, candy is the easiest, cheapest, and most convienant. And i am fortunate that Cindy doesnt come and go multiple times a day. So if she gets a chocolate kiss from her every other day, it is no big deal. We normally dont keep candy in the house. I usually give graham crackers, fruit snacks, or cheez nips. So ONE piece of chocolate isn't that big of a deal, and it is "special" because Cindy gave it to her.

Hope this helps. And keep us updated on what works for Madison. Catie can be quite a little terror when she wants to be. But she is getting better, now that i am "in training". ;)

helen