Does your child do this?
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| Thu, 10-13-2005 - 3:34pm |
My Aaron (PDD-NOS, mild) is doing so well as we approach his 5th birthday. He has quite a few social skills. He greets friends at school, introduces me to friends, plays simple games like hide and seek, offers help to a friend who is struggling. One of our main problem areas is.... He has no tolerance for any rough play with another kid. He does have SID which he gets OT for. But the thing is, if Dad or I come up behind him and bop him with a pillow, he laughs. If another child does it, he is immediately upset. Even when I explain to him the child is playing, he can't get over it. If a child accidentally runs a toy car into his leg, he assumes that kid was trying to hurt him. I have tried over and over to explain that when you play with kids sometimes these things happen.
Maybe I am expecting too much, but if he can play rough with me then why not with kids? When he gets older others are going to get tired of him crying every time they are playing.
The only thing I can think of to do is lots of rough play in hopes he will understand it better.
Thoughts?
Amanda

He sounds extremely tactile defensive and my 5yo DD Siobhan is the same way. However, she she doesn't cry -she gets MAD!
She is fine with family and people she knows well, but if a little known person should touch her or accidently brush up against her; well, they had better watch out! She can turn from a cute freckled little Irish girl into a mini-Mr Hyde faster than anyone I have ever seen.
The thing which helped the most with this was the Willbarger brushing program, a sensory diet, and plenty of sleep.
I don't know if it will ever fuly recede. He Da is exactly the same way.
HTH
-Paula
Edited 10/13/2005 5:13 pm ET by specialmomx2
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Amanda,
Nathan does this too. It was worse though, when he was younger. He's usually ok with family or someone he knows, but he still has his moments!! Just a couple of weeks ago, dh swatted Nathan on his bottom with a rolled up newspaper, as Nathan walked by him. Nathan grabbed his bottom, turned around, and said very sternly, "DON'T HURT ME!!!! And then a friend of ours, put her hands on Nathan's shoulders and rubbed a little.....he said, " ouch!!" When he was younger, he would raise his arm like he was about to hit someone. He did this at stores, when someone would brush up next to him. And he would get angry too, if another child acccidently hurt him. Even if it wasn't anything major!!
Michelle
Yes, Mike definitely does that.
Today I saw him at lunch when I was picking up Dave. I was combing my fingers through his hair because he was all sweaty and I was trying to cool him off a bit. He was fine with it, but I laughed with the aide because if any of them tried that he would likely growl at them, or just give them a nasty look and tell them to stop. (which is better than when he was little and would scream or hit)
Somedays Mike is fine with me touching him and cuddling. Other days there is no way he even wants me to touch him but I always have way WAY more lee way than others. I think it is because we desensitize them. Heck who has been holding and cuddling them thier whole lives? mom. Who is the safest person around? mom. Dad to some, but definitely mom.
Cait is like this too but even she is no longer as affectionate with me as Mike. Puberty hit and her tactile defensiveness came WAY out when it wasn't really a big deal before. Now it is and she tolerates hugs if she has to.
Renee
Kyle is the same way, too.
Samantha
Nuked a long message I wrote to this, trying again. ASD kids don't transfer information from one set of people to another very well. In other words, rough housing with you and your dh is safe, as your child "knows" you and trusts you deeply on a sensory level, and has complete confidence that you will not hurt him. This does not mean that children, particularly in groups, are "trustworthy". The angry reaction to other kids' rough play is on a sensory "fight-or-flight" level, and the only way to help that is slowly over time for your child to build up tolerance WITH those children. Which does not mean that your child would then necessarily be able to then rough play with other children besides the ones he is good friends with...
Our child is having trouble doing this in large groups of children or kids he doesn't know well. This is not a problem when he is with his buddies, as they are very comfortable physically with each other, having spent lots of time together (and they LOVE to rough house). We are trying many approaches, particularly always upping sensory diet to help his body relax. Gymnastics, swimming, etc. all help. Also, when he gets angry, he needs time away to cool down and constant reminders that he needs to work on his overreacting, reintroducing possibility that the "slam" was not an intention attack. Very hard for them to understand when their sensory system experiences that touch as having been attacked. Social stories can help.
But having spoken with some grownup ASD people, dealing with oversensitive sensory system IS one of the biggest problems of an ASD life.
yours,
Sara
ilovemalcolm
Weston and Warren are both this way. Weston has HFA and used to just cry and growl when anyone would touch him (except DH and myself and 2 of my best friends, everyone else was a threat).
Warren has always been extra sensitive but we never knew whether it was SID or if it was due to his eczema, which has always been REALLY bad on is extremities.
Owen doesn't like anyone to touch him and will yell, "HEY! WATCH IT!" and look like he's going to deck someone (pretty funny/scary when he's walking down the hall at Warren's middle school and does this to a 6ft 200lb 8th grader)
Betsy