End of an Era.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
End of an Era.
6
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 8:43pm

I had a conversation yesterday that has really struck me in a deep way. I know my kids are growing up too fast and it was one of those wow moments. It has made me all contemplative, lol.

Cait has been going to therapeutic horseback riding for 8 years. 2 years ago she began volunteering there as well. The assistant director pulled me aside for a conversation yesterday. It appears my dd has progressed past what they can teach her. They don't mind keeping her on as long as they have a spot but she is ready for more than they can do. the horses are too old so they can't teach cantering or jumping and she could do it. Cait wants to continue volunteering so she will ride til the end of this year unless they need her spot and then just volunteer. She is graduating from theraputic riding, lol.

Any here is the comtemplative part. Regional centers has just started this self determination thing for funding. I have paid privately for REINS until now and was thinking of using those funds for REINS but now that isn't neccessary so I started to think of what therapy to put her in.

Well here is the thing, I think we have progressed about as far as she is going to go with therapy. Sure there are still autistic parts to her but that is just who she is and we have learned very well how to deal with them. We have given her the tools to call and "hang out" with friends. She has no interest. Who cares if she has a hard time with eye contact. We work around her sensory issues with food and clothing. We have accomodations for changes and organizational issues. Cait is a happy gal who has interests, hobbies, etc. She has learned some great job skills through volunteering. She is not going to be a rhodes scholar but I would rather her happy with independent life than a major degree.

I think we have reached the end of our therapy days. I think it is time to call it quits, say we have gotten the most we can and help her enjoy her life to the fullest which I believe can be very full, though quirky.

It is weird, just a place of acceptance where I am ready to leave the stressful days of what to fix next behind us. As the kids get older we have slowly cut back on therapies and such so it isn't a big surprise just kind of a wow, we've arrived.

I will say for Mike, the BEST decision I ever made was to ditch all his doctors. Rather than have him stressed, poked, prodded and perscribed something new every month we just accepted him for who he was (autistic) and stopped going to all those docs. Life has been much better since.

Just being comtemplative.

I wonder if they will give me self determination funds to pay for Cait to be in plays?....hmmmmmmm

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Sun, 01-13-2008 - 11:51pm

Oh my!


I never thought the therapies and interventions would end, but of course they do. I can only imagine that you feel kind of stripped naked in some

-Paula

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 12:18am

yeah, I think you got it. Hard to verbalize. In one way it feels naked as in freeing but in another a bit lost like what do I do, lol.

Of course there will still be school therapies and such for now. We could do one of those social skills groups again or music therapy but there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough, kwim?

The only thing I can think of that I would want to use the money on is somehow helping to teach her some indepedent living skills. for instance getting around the community, I STILL never let the girl walk anywhere on her own. Part of it is the autism and part of it is just fear of our time. The local library is less than 1/2 mile away. Totally walkable, but there is a house with a registered pedifile on the way and no side walks. The local park is 1/4 mile but it there can be found gangs or homeless people there at times. Mostly families but you have to be aware. kwim?

She just has had no opportunity to practice street crossing and getting around the community on her own because I am so scared of how nieve she is. But eventually she is going to have to learn how to navigate the bus system, getting movie tickets, etc. I just need to get on that assistance doggie maybe.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 12:24am

Wow Renee-

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 12:32am

Renee,


Congratulations!

Molly
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: rbear4
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 12:09pm

Awww Renee, it probably feels so sad because it was a major accomplishment in her life and really helped her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 4:28pm

I have a really dumb question. How do you know when you're at the end of an era and you've progressed as far as you can with therapy?

Our medical insurance just changed, and our therapist is no longer covered. We'd been seeing her for about 9 months. I'm not sure how much she's been helping (I don't see any concrete changes in either child, but it's probably helped for them to hear from an outsider that their behavior could use modification, even if we haven't found the best way to do that yet). It took us a long time to find a therapist, and even more importantly, a therapist covered by our insurance.

I can't decide whether therapy just isn't working for us (one problem is that 13yo dd often says what she thinks people want to hear; she also just doesn't like putting effort into fixing problems), or whether we're also at the end of an era even if our era was short lived since we started when dd was older already. The therapy was the ONLY help dd was getting beyond some minor accommodations at school.