Family friends.......and their children
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| Wed, 08-17-2005 - 7:08pm |
A friend of mine visited us today. She has 2 little girls, 2 and 4. I told her yesterday that I had bought some things for the house, so she came to have a look. We're not great friends or anything, her dh used to work with mine, and they still hangout occasionally. We get our families together sometimes, but usually at their house. She doesn't really have any rules for her kids. They do what they want, etc. They won't sit still, even at mealtime. And they can't figure out how to get control of their children.
Anyway, Nathan is VERY rule oriented. So he spent the whole time watching the girls. Especially the younger one. He literally followed her around and put everything back that she touched. His train table was a disaster!!! They were only here for about 20min!!! I tried talking him thru it....and it did help some. She thought it was good experience for Nathan. WHAT???!!!! She thought that we should do this more often. What is wrong with people??????? Yes, he needs to experience the whole playdate situation more often.....BUT NOT WITH HER CHILDREN!!!!!! I don't think she understands that even if Nathan got better at tolerating her kids, he would still have the same obstacles no matter WHO he had a playdate with!!! I didn't answer her, because I didn't want to upset her by telling her that she needs to step in when her children demolish other people's belongings. She did try to redirect them (very nicely, as to not hurt their feelings), but never once addressed what THEY CAN and what THEY CANNOT do. Children do need to be taught how to behave and what is appropriate and what is not. Having rules is not a bad thing! It really is irritating.....here I am raising an autistic child, and she can't figure out how to raise 2 NT children, but she knows what would help MY child???!!!
Sorry, I guess it just really upsets me....getting advice from someone who has no idea what she is doing in her own life. Her 2yr old actually said "NO!" to her.....she did NOTHING!!!!! Now, I'm not a real strict mom.....but we do have rules about "how we speak to our mom and dad". I would have said SOMETHING!!! I now understand why her 4yr old talks the way she does......no one told her not too!!!!
Michelle

Hi Michelle,
I know what you mean!