Fears?
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| Tue, 03-13-2007 - 1:56pm |
Hi all, I'm new to this board. I'm grateful that it's here!
My four-year-old son, Rowan, was diagnosed with Asperger's/Autism Spectrum Disorder about a month ago. We're trying to read as much as we can, e.g. Overcoming Autism by Lynn Koegel and the Asperger's book by Tony Attwood. There's a lot to process.
One immediate challenge is that Rowan has become quite afraid to go to school in the mornings, and is particularly afraid of older kids who run around/rush up. Although his daycare class meets in the school-age room before his JK class begins, he now refuses to go into the room, screams if forced in and averts his eyes while walking by. He is also refusing to go into the school gym on snow days, again, because older kids are playing boisterously in there. It's gotten to the point where he's trembling, wild-eyed and fearful rounding corners in the school. We have started taking him straight to his JK class to avoid this. We don't want to traumatize him but we're also worried that we're allowing the fear/fixation to continue.
Koegel's book seems to suggest desensitizing, e.g. try to get him to do something he really likes near the school-age room, moving closer and closer until you're in the room. But he's so freaked out that seems impossible now. Another strategy my husband and are thinking is to get the teachers to introduce Rowan to some of the kinder school-age kids, or assigning him a school age "buddy" who can help him understand that not all school age kids are out to hurt him.
Any thoughts or advice?
Thanks so much!

Edited 6/5/2007 9:34 pm ET by idaphne63
It sound like you are doing the right thing by making him feel safe ( i.e. taking him straight to the JK class) and then working with the school to figure out creative ways to resolve the issue.
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Of our two spectrum kiddos, the youngest (6 y/o DD) deals with several severe fears. Public restrooms, vacuum cleaners...the list goes on and on.
To be honest, I am not a fan of the Koegel methodology. Tried it, it didn't work...moved on to try other things. (I think our daughter was simply too smart to be tricked into "forgetting" that whatever caused the fear was nearby, just because she was doing something she really liked.) In the long run it came down to picking our battles. Spectrum kids deal with so many daily trials and forcing them to do things that they really don't have to do, just to make them fit a pre-determined mold...well, in our family, it just wasn't worth it. I guess what I'm saying is, if taking you son straight to his classroom makes his day easier, then why run the risk of him loosing trust in you because you force him to "face a fear" that nobody truly understands? I hope that makes sense.
As time passes, chances are this fear will wane. If not, and you're faced with a worst case scenario you can consider doing what we finally had to do for our daughter...place her on anti-anxiety medication. (It's done amazing things for our daughter!)
Amy
Amy and Paula are so wise!!!
Yep instinct rules. They say that is the physcic (sp?) part of us. I ALWAYS trust my instinct, that is always likely to be the right choice.
My thoughts added are.... The things he's scared of may be sensory issue's, or could be bullies. Do you know if older kids bullie him? Or one that he hasn't talked about?
I would also check that one out. Just to make sure.
Thanks so much for all of your advice. It's really helpful. My husband and I are doing so much reading right now and feeling that we have to start interventions on every little thing immediately, while still not fully understanding exactly what we're dealing with. We need to trust our instincts, as you suggest.
I'll definitely pick up the anxiety book, Daphne. Anxiety is huge right now and Rowan seems to be afraid going to sleep at night and when he wakes up, particularly at the thought of school. As for the schoolage room, it is very noisy and crowded, so it's clearly sensory overload. We want to help him with coping methods because noise and crowds will always be a part of life, e.g. find a quiet corner, a buddy you trust, tune out with a book, wear earphones?? But maybe for the moment simply bypassing the room is best. We've been talking with the staff and they're puzzled about which schoolager Rowan is particularly afraid of (if there is a bullying situation). At one point he was talking about a particular boy "roaring" at him but that boy had actually left the school months earlier. (Meanwhile, Rowan's doesn't hesitate to roar at a younger kid on occasion, sheesh.)
Once we get Rowan's IEP and do the introductory session at our local autism centre (we're in toronto, canada), we'll probably have a better sense of where to go. We just hate to see him so afraid...
Lis.