Feeling sad, need advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Feeling sad, need advice
Tue, 04-01-2003 - 9:21pm
My youngest daughter, almost five, was diagnosed last year with PDD and ADHD. She has an IEP in place and attends a decent part-time pre-school program for little ones with special needs. Her pre-school does not provide academic help, but more aid with social issues - like learning to wait her turn and not yell. I help Hannah with the academics at home, although not very well. Hannah's attention span comes and goes with the wind. I am very worried that her Kindergarten experience will be a disaster. My daughter's pre-school coordinator has not been the easiest person to communicate with. I know that my little one is not the only child she sees, but I feel as though she thinks I'm just an over-obsessed mother who keeps calling to specifically annoy her. I asked her back before Christmas to give me scenarios as to deal with Hannah's pending Kindergarten year, i.e. could she be placed in a Transition program, could she be placed in a regular class with a tutor to shadow her through the day. I have yet to get her to return my calls. She keeps relaying messages to my daughter's teacher to let me know that we'll discuss the matter during Hannah's IEP meeting in the next two months. I'm getting very nervous about the lack of response or concern the pre-school coordinator seems to have for my child. Does anyone have any advice on how to make sure their special needs child receives a decent education, short of home-schooling? What could be added to an IEP to prevent disaster?


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 10:50am
I too had a pretty good preschool situation -- special needs with an aide to support inclusion -- but the reality was that the preschool folks knew almost zilch about K-12 schooling, options, etc. I asked, as you did, and came up with almost nothing.

SO: I did my own research. Called the school district, connected with the special needs case manager, got into the various special needs classrooms available in the county and the district, and spoke with a special needs law advocate to get info/advice. I also chatted with moms of special needs kids in my district. That gave me and my husband a much better idea of possibilities.

The district did a full eval of Tom in his preschool, and I met with most of the evaluators to get their input (and for them to get mine).

In the long run, we had our IEP meeting and I knew most of the people there. We had a good sense of what we wanted, and, with good luck, we were able to get it: a "learning resources" classroom in the local elementary school, a 1:1 aide, OT, PT, and speech!

Good luck with all,


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 12:21pm
I'm sorry the pre school seems to be blowing you off.

The thing may be that most of the kids they deal with all have

the attention problems as such and they may not see anything yet

to single yours out. I had trouble with Tims early childhood ed

for a while, then when he got in kindergarten he did fine, better

than I expected as far as learning and things of that nature.

The social skills were the hard ones though. Like you mentioned

"learning to take turns" were things he had to work on.

I hope the IEP meeting goes well. Voice your concerns and your

expectations and see that they are writing it all down on their


One thing on Tim's IEP is modifying the assignments

and re wording lectures. He doesn't understand things

the first time and mostly we have to repeat them 2 or 3 different

ways. Sometimes he still won't "Get it".

Usually in these younger grades, most things the parent is worried

about can be included in the IEP. For example even Potty training,

holding a pencil correctly or anything else developmentally related.

I hope it goes well for you and your daughter.