The "Fun" never ends

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2003
The "Fun" never ends
Wed, 04-30-2003 - 9:36pm
I was in the kitchen, cooking when my DD comes in and says

"Mom, Tim threw poop in the neighbors pool!!"

This was 10 minutes after getting a call from my youngest sons

teacher about him being rude to a substitute today by making fun of

her name.

I told them to "go get it out". and when I got to a stopping

point in cooking, I went outside only to see them

still standing in our own front yard.

I took Tim by the arm and we went next door. The neigbors

were in their garage and I simply said "He threw something

in your pool and I need to make him go get it" and

the neighbor said "Ok" then I said "I'm so sorry".

I felt bad because I didn't tell them what it was. It's

one of those above ground pools, pretty big, has a pump on it.

We stood there a while before Tim finally got in. I told him to

get it and throw it out towards the back. He grabbed a hold of

"It" and it dissolved. He was able to throw out little

chunks until it got to where it looked like only bits

of grass was left in the pool. I reached in with my hand to "Swirl" the

water around to where there wouldn't be a big brown spot sitting

there. I secretly told myself that if the neighbors asked I was

going to tell them it was rocks and grass. But, I'll probably

tell them the truth when I get the money to hand them to

help with their water bill in case they want to drain the pool.

They keep it chlorinated and wide open. It even had tons of bugs

in it already. I know I'd be furious if that happened to us.

Why Can't my kids see that for once I'd like to live in a neighborhood

where no one hates us and wishes our house would blow up with us in it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 12:21pm
I usually like to say, "Well, if that's the worst thing that ever happens, then you're lucky." But, knowing my family, it NEVER is the worst thing, is it?! But it made for a funny story!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 12:31pm
Actually the worst thing that's ever happened was when Tim found

a lighter in the back of our car and set his baby brother on fire.

(set it to his blanket and it caught onto his flannel outfit).

Parent soup published the write up about it a few years ago.

It makes things like the "Poop Pool" a big relief.

Seems like we are always having to be on gaurd with these

kids. He has no sense of danger.

He and his little brother were fussing about 2 years ago and

they were pushing and pulling on a door, well, Sean the little

brother put his hand in between to try to pry the door open and

Tim didn't know it and slammed it again and the Tip of

Seans pinky finger came right off. (not the bone but the nail and

the tip.. it grew back later). This was on the same hand

that was burned and is missing the top end of his pointer finger.

And almost a year ago, Tim went up to a strange dog and got

attacked. he had to have staples all around the circumference of his

head. Even now the scars stand out.

Like I said "The FUN never ends"........

There are also some light hearted funny memories, but I hope

nothing ever gets "worse" than the above mentioned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 4:28pm
Omg, all of what you said about 'the worst that has happened' are the exact kind of reasons dh and I decided to wait 5 years before having another baby after Jade was born. Dh has always wanted 8 kids and she was number 4. But we had to wait for her to get to the point where she could talk well enough for her to understand us when we said things like "We don't light babies on fire."

Even at 5yo we still had to keep a close eye on her when Eva was born. She once tried to stab the baby in the tummy just to see what would happen. Eva is very tubby and Jade thought she might ~POP~ like the marshmellow man in Ghostbusters. It didn't ocurr to her that disembouling her sister might cause death. Thankfully, I was there and mannaged to grab Jade's hands just in time.

As for the pool, I wouldn't worry about it. If they keep it well chlorinated and the PH balanced then the baceria was destroyed in less than 5 minutes. How do I know? We have a pool and more kids than I can count. This was one of the first questions I asked the guy at the pool suplly store and the number one reason we keep our chlorine at 'public pool' levels. LOL



P.S. You wanna buy our house when we move? Our neighbors are already broken in. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-01-2003 - 6:07pm
I sometimes wish I would of spaced my kids out more. But they are

a year apart in ages, 1,2,3 were how it was at that time. and I was on BC

when I got pregnant with my last one.

It was a horrible experience, one that my youngest has permanent reminders

of, his hand, trunk and leg. This was the first time

Tim even picked up a lighter and it was left in the back seat of

my car by a former roommate and it wasn't one of the childproof

kind it was a promotional marlboro lighter that you just

push the button on. We had to deal with the CPS and all sorts of

mess over it. Investigators even cut up my car because my DD's dad

was trying to get custody of her and mentioned that "I" may had

caused it myself, so they did tests, looking for flammable chemicals.

SEan was careflighted to parkland burn unit in dallas. I had to find

private transportation and someone from my church took me. I couldn't drive

because My hands were burned and wrapped up from getting Sean out of

the car seat. Melted plastic and his flannel clothes and diaper were

all melted everywhere and on my hands, they had to cut it all off.

When I finally got to parkland I went up to see Sean and he

stood up and reached for me thru the baby bed bars and I held

him like that as long as I can remember.. until a dallas

police came and took my statement. I had to go down to the ER

because that's the only way my dr released me from the local

hospital was because I agreed that I would get medical attention

ASAP. We spent Thanksgiving 94 there. It was an awful

experience. No parent or child should ever have to go through

something like that, ever. that's been 9 or so years ago,

and no body would know about seans scars or his hand unless they

were up close. He can throw one mean football with his left hand

and he favors his right.

(sorry I went on about the story I just though I should get

it out in the open a little here. It was all over

parentsoup a few years ago but many members joined after it

was written)

Ever since that accident I never left either kid out of my sight

again, and now that they are much older, I still find I can't

completely trust them. I wonder if Tim will need this close of

supervision thru his adult life. I mean I don't want to be

sitting at home and watching the news one day and hear

something awful about him, or that he hurt someone.

Candes, thanks for the info about the pool. I walked by it today

and there's no trace left behind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-02-2003 - 11:17am
That doesn't sound like much fun to me! We picked our house specifically to have enough buffers between houses and made new THICK windows our first investment in hopes that our new neighbors wouldn't hate us too. I have been lucky, I have sweet elderly people who love kids on each side of me who think my kids are the greatest. I don't know why.

I was talking to my friend with a similarly difficult son. We decided we should all just move to a neighborhood together. LOL! Can you imagine what a neighborhood like that would be like!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-03-2003 - 10:15pm
Oh Honey, I'm so sorry you and your family had to go through all that in 94. And thank you for telling us about it too. That took a lot of courage. But those who are new to AS need to hear about those kinds of things along side all the cute funny things that can happen. It's not all fun and games raising an Aspie, even though sometimes it can feel that way. Especially when they're playing up the cute points.

Your story reminds us of why we keep the vigil we do with our kids. Especailly when they're smaller. But know too, that it does get better. I've heard horror stories from my ILs about some of the things my DH did as a boy. Things he didn't know would hurt anyone. But because his parents loved him, kept their vigil when others said they were being overprotective, and did their best to teach him not only right from wrong but WHAT is right and WhAT is wrong, he turned out to be a fine man. He still has his moments .I recently had to take his bank account away from him after he applied for 3 different car loans using the same collateral. Thankfully, the bank manager is an old friend of dgm's and she was able to explain AS to him and they didn't press charges. I don't know what I'd do if he got himself thrown in jail for defrauding a bank. YIKES... just to think about it.

But things like that are far and few between. Plus, now that his parents and I know why he does these things we are able to help him avert disaster by educating him on all the little things. Between the time he left his parents house and the time we got married he had racked up quite an arrest record. He even managed to get himself fired from the Navy. All of this was really surprising to me since he is the sweetest, most honest person I have ever met. His mother says if she had known about AS before, if she had the information and education available to her that we do now, she thinks she could have done a better job with him and kept him from at most of the pain he went through as a young man.

In Tim's case, as with my girls, we know what's going on now, when their young. And we have the oppertunity to help them out and teach them better than my MIL did. Personally though, I think she did a great job, especially since she had no clue what she was up against at the time. But we do. Our kids will be fine. We won't be able to save them from every heartache and mishap, but we WILL be able to help them avert disaster.

I think it takes a special kind of person to raise an Aspie, and one equally so to marry one. But we are out there, we do exist.

Lots of love,