Funnish story...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Funnish story...
2
Fri, 06-20-2003 - 11:41am
I got out last night when the respite person was over (ya know, another sitter bites the dust). I went to the library to check out a couple books that had been recomended. I ran across Liane Hollidays Willeys "Pretending to be Normal". Never had a chance to read it so I checked it out and took it home with about 5 other books.

Well Cait is a verocious reader and asks if she can read one of my books. She picks "Pretending to be Normal". I thought she would give up quick but she is loving it. She is only on the first chapter though. Of course, to her it is the story of a really neat girl who likes tea parties (like Emily) and has invisible friends (like her and Mike). SHe has no clue what it is about. Wonder how long it take for her to start thinking this girl is like her. I am going to have to read it while she is at school to make sure she can handle it. Maybe this is the way to tell her about her asperger's? Tried a few years back, but she didn't get it and wasn't ready.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 06-20-2003 - 8:16pm
I say let her read the book. DH has a copy of it and he really likes it. He says he can really see himself in some of her stories. I've only skimmed through it (I REALLY do need to sit down and actually read it someday soon). But DH says its a 'one Aspie to the other' type of read. He says he's a bit more outgoing than Laine so a few of the points about feeling an overwhelming want to be alone he doesn't really identify with. For him it's more a matter of not knowing what to say, when to say it, etc, so he gets shy about talking to others for fear he'll make a huge blunder and really embarrass himself or whoever he's with. He says she covers that in the book too though. I guess at one point she describes a situation where she asked an NT "How do you do that? How do you make friends so easily?" where upon the NT said (in bewilderment) "Just stick out your hand and say 'hi'." LOL, DH and I used to have that conversation a lot when we first married. And he'd always follow up with "Ya, but how do you know WHEN to say 'hi' or stick out your hand? Is there something I should be looking for?" ROFL.

DH said reading Laine's book helped him come to terms with his AS and get over the hump of acceptance so he could move on to learning what to do about his issues. At 9yo Cait may be a little young for the book, but then Jade read Inside My Mind (the real story Rainman was based off of) a few months back and didn't have emotional problems from it. So you never know. And Inside My Mind is really quite descriptive, they actually go through the scene where Raymond accedently burned his baby brother trying to give him a bath in boiling water (to get the germs off you understand). The author also did a really good job at describing what goes on inside the mind of a moderate/severe autistic. It was given to us by our friend Pam who had MFA. She said it was, in her opinion, the best book ever written (but then she also said the author must have written the book about her and not bothered to tell her.LOL)

But here is one caution to consider. People usually don't like things that remind them of their own problems or 'hit to close to home'. DH normally doesn't like stories about Aspies or people who might be Aspies because they make him uncomfortable. He does say that, for him, reading a book about Aspies is easier than watching a movie about them though. He actually got up and walked out of A Beautiful Mind when we rented the video. We asked him later why he did that and he said "I've already lived through my life, I don't want to watch it in re-run." LOL, and yes, I agree that the good dr in the story was an Aspie who happened to have comorbidial schizophrenia.

Sigh, yeah yeah, another chapter in the book I'm not writing. LOL. Sorry

Candes

Peace,
Candes  
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Tue, 06-24-2003 - 3:25pm
She gave it up before the end of the first chapter. I think she was expecting an interesting story. For her, no animals means no interest, hehe. I don't think she "got it". To her it seemed like a story of a normal kid. To her the experiences are her reality, so I don't think she got the "this person is like me and different from everyone else" yet. I kind of think she is still in the stage of development were her experiences are the norm and what be what everyone experiences. I kind of like that and don't want to ruin it just yet.

She does know on some level that she is a bit different from the rest. She asks for medicine to make her more flexible and understand. She is starting to get teased pretty significantly and having more obvious social difficulties with other kids and she has been pretty upset by these. We have always emphasized the "different" and not disabled thing. I want to tread these waters carefully. I think she will need to realize that she sees the world differently and needs some modifications to help her do that. But I want her to keep her confidence too.

Thanks for your input.

Renee

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