The good and the bad

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
The good and the bad
5
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 7:53pm

Haley has been doing fantastic at school this year. She started in almost an exclusive Special Ed environment. They decided to try her in mainstream for math to see how she did and she did very well so they kept her there. Today I got a message from her special ed teacher telling me that if I was willing, they would like to try her in mainstream for science and social studies. Haley was interested in doing that so I agreed to give it a try. She will start on the 16th. I am just amazed at how well she has been doing. It is like night and day compared with last year!!

Now for the bad... not really bad but frustrating. Haley has been rather uncooperative at home. It is like beating my head against the wall trying to get her to do homework. And she is acting out in small ways. For example, last night she decided it would be fun to poke her pencil into the arm of the couch. We have a microfiber couch so now I have 5 big holes that are very visible. Great. :( She also squirted moisturizer all over the floor. Not sure where this is coming from. I know it isn't boredom because she has been keeping busy with new friends and things.

Oh well. At least school is going better. LOL

~ Jill



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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp
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Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 01-05-2007 - 10:51pm

you know, I've heard that when they hold it in at school, they let it go at home - the someplace safe they have.

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 12:25am

I am glad you are optomistic about school but it still sounds like there is some sort of stress in Haley's life that is over the top for her.

Is the issue typically just around homework? Is it possible to cut down the homework load to something that is more doable for her?

Even if she is academically able to do the homework they are sending home, it is likely that she has used up everything she has during school that day and just has nothing left for homework. Sometimes homework for our kids just is not the learning experience it is supposed to be. Perhaps modified homework or even no homework at all would be better for now. We modified Mike's drastically for the past 2 years and it helped so darn much. We increased his workload again this year and he was able to almost manage it for a while but it took him a long time. Finally his frustration level took over prior to christmas. If it isn't anybetter after christmas then we are going to go back to severely modified homework again.

Mike is in your dd's situation where he has been in special education class for a while (him actually 2 years). he was just mainstreamed a small amount (without thier homework) last year after a year and is mainstreamed a bit more this year and trying to do the mainstream homework with some modifications.

Renee

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Registered: 07-06-2006
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 9:33am

My ds is the same way, great at school, not so great at home. "They" told me that was normal,lol.

Chrissy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 01-06-2007 - 1:58pm
Thanks everyone. I agree that she is probably using up all her energy to hold it together at school and by the time she gets home it all just "hits the fan". It is mostly with the homework. She works hard at school and I really have to hand it to her because with state testing and all, she has a lot on her plate so when she gets home, she has anywhere from 1-5 pages of homework. We do have the option to ammend her IEP and make a note to limit homework but we are holding off for just a bit on that. In the mean time, if we just can't do it, I send it back with a note and they work on it in the special ed class.


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Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp
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Registered: 11-28-2006
Sun, 01-07-2007 - 2:36am

My 10 yr old is like that. Very respectful, polite, considerete in school. Has always been. He gets home and he's another person.

Just know they feel so safe with you, and love you so much, that this is the reason they wait and let go with you. They have to find a way to let go, and who better than for the person that loves them the most :)