Gripe about in-laws sending "gifts"

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Gripe about in-laws sending "gifts"
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Thu, 06-29-2006 - 10:26pm

My in-laws live across the Atlantic, and like to show that they care by sending gifts. (Of course, they also have a lot to say about how kids are too materialistic these days.) They are very sweet people, and I'm just awful to complain, but I've just got to get this out of my system.

About every month or two, a package arrives for the boys. I hate to look a gift horse in the mouth, but nearly every time it's something that has zero play value, like little party-favor quality plastic farm animals that can't stand up by themselves, but still need to be stored. Another thing they send is kids' DVDs that come free with some newspaper subscription. DH has told his parents a MILLION times, that our kids hardly ever watch TV, are NOT interested in the DVDs, and we can't even watch British DVDs without hooking up the computer in some weird way, because of the region encoding. DH, who is much more tactful than I am, has tried to make them understand that books are an ideal gift. He finally got through. So now we've got a whole box full of these horrible comic books full of 1950's British classist, racist humor, because that's what FIL remembers fondly from his own childhood.

Well, yesterday, the mailman delivered a package, and Nathan was all excited. It turned out to be a package of little plastic European road signs (AGAIN) with a couple of cars with wheels that don't turn. AND a huge book called, "501 TV-Free Activities for Kids." Did I mention that my kids almost never watch TV, and manage to keep busy and entertained with their own imaginations and creativity--with the occasional help from parents? Apparently the in-laws haven't gotten the message. I don't want to raise a snob (I'm sure I must sound like one!), so I told Nathan all about how his grandparents wish they could be with him, and like to send toys and things to show they care. But I can't help but think that it just shows that they don't pay attention. A recurring theme in our conversations is that we are very pleased that our boys are creative and imaginative, and aren't TV Zombies (although that Lego website is getting to be a problem lately.)

I was looking through the book, and it's full of stuff like gluing leaves to sticks, making herbed vinegar from herbs in "the garden". Throughout the book it's assumed that everyone has a garden with trees, vegetables, flowers, paths, and a pond. Sorry...I live in the SF Bay Area, and didn't have $800k for that house! We've got a patio. The in-laws KNOW that. According to the book, all children love to make cheesy-oat balls, and they will eat them if they have little raisin faces on them. Ugh! I know, this is awful of me, and maybe other people's kids really do delight in making meatballs with their parents or making puppets out of old custard powder tins.

Sigh! They mean well. It wouldn't bother me so much, but we are REALLY limited in the amount of space we have. Our little house is cluttered with stuff we use, and there is NO space for crappola.

What a snob I am. Oh well. Thanks for "listening".

Evelyn

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2004
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 1:02pm
I like to think of myself as fairly patient. But I'm right there with your DD. I'd have really, really had to bite my tongue not to say the same. As for the housekeeping, I'd tell her we can fix that, we'll just call the trash utility, have them put a dumpster in the driveway and we'll put all the crap you hauled down here in it, have the trash utility take it away and my house will be clean again! No, I really wouldn't do that, but I don't think diplomacy is going to work in their case, they can't take a hint at all. I bet you can't wait till they leave, LOL!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-02-2006 - 11:20pm

I have similar complaints about my in-laws......I feel your pain.

You can pick your friends.....you can pick your nose......you can even pick your friend's nose.....but you can't pick your family......unfortunately.

Christie

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