Grr....Mama Bear got angry

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Grr....Mama Bear got angry
2
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 1:26pm

On Saturday, we had a neighborhood block party and Graham finally learned to ride without the trainers! He was having a great time riding in the street and polishing his ability to start off on the bike. He was so pleased with himself!

Unfortunately, he was trying to connect with some slightly younger boys who were rebuffing his advances. Of course, he didn't notice and kept riding near them trying to join them. Eventually, they started riding their scooters and skateboards right in front of him, cutting him off and making him stop suddenly in a kind of a game of 'chicken'.

I'm surprised at how angry I got and how quickly it flared up. I walked right over and gave them a piece of my mind about what jerks they were being. They tried to deny any wrong doing at first, but eventually were a bit sheepish about it. John was a bit more nonchalant about it, saying that Graham needed to learn to deal with that sort of thing, but I just saw red and acted. I was shaking, I was so mad.

In any case, the behavior stopped and although they didn't welcome Graham to join them, at least they weren't taunting him any longer. Graham tried to defend them, saying that I was too hard on them, that they were just 5th graders, but the little twirps knew exactly what they were doing and Graham was a bit oblivious about it.

This just activates all my fears for next year in middle school when I can't protect him from other kids messing with him. My hope is that some of the kids who know him will stick up for him some. One kid has already declared that 'if anyone messes with Graham, they have to mess with me'. I'm glad he's got supporters, but I worry all the same.

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Tue, 08-24-2010 - 5:12am

Oh I 'get' this, completely. The number of times I have wanted to knock a mean kid's block off. I never feel the need to do this with my NT kids - in fact, I always feel sorry for any kids that try to tease or bully my NT kids because they can be *vicious* in their retaliation LOL - but even though he's nearly 12 and in many ways more than capable of standing up for himself, I always see red where Euan is concerned.


Graham will be able to deal with this stuff, you know. Let's face it, *all* our kiddos are going to have to learn this because they are all wonderfully 'different' and are going to get picked on at some point. Euan deals with it by having a neat line in humour, sarcasm, and if all else fails a vulcan death grip to the neck. I remember going to a wonderfully inspiring talk by an adult autistic woman who was very clear with us ('us' being teachers and parents) that she needed to make mistakes, and get hurt, when growing up, just like NT kids, and that protecting her from pain, and disappointment, was doing her no favours. I try to remember that when the red mist descends and I want to protect my cub at all costs.


But it's very very hard. And Graham, good on him, dealt with it very well!!


Kirsty, mum to Euan (11, Aspergers Syndrome) Rohan (7, NT) and Maeve (4, NT)

"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"


"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"


Follow my blog on http://mumsnet.com/blogs/kirsteinr/


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
Mon, 08-23-2010 - 6:26pm

it's hard to witness people being mean, especially when their target is someone you love.