Grrrr- ya know I was having a good week

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Grrrr- ya know I was having a good week
4
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 7:06pm

And it doesn't help that I am PMSing and having the hardest time keeping my good mood that the beginning of the week started. Now more crappola.

Cait called, 2nd time this week she missed the bus home. I had just walked in the door after parent/teacher conferences work and no lunch. My mom went to get ehr for me.

Got an email from Cait's teacher. She isn't handing in her homework again and she wants me to "sign" her planner to make sure that Cait is doing it every night. That just eeeks of "it's all mom's fault". GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Haven't decided how I am going to respond to that one yet.

Got the monthly newletter from the special needs network from my alma mater. They had a generic article in there on autism/aspeger syndrome. It really burns me when AS is referred to as a milder form of autism and then they go into detail about how they are just quirky, etc. I am SORRY but there is NOTHING FLIPPING mild about what I deal with at home. I am so sick of aspergers being downplayed as some minor little diagnosis de jour. And of course I was just featured in the main alumni magazine which spoke about the special needs network (I helped start) and it says my kids are AS which is fine. I am just sick of the stereotype that it is just some nerdy kid thing where they are a bunch of rocket scientists. I friggen wish. Then I wouldn't need IEP's, medication, etc.

My DH is an a$$. He has a wine thing he is going to tonight. He told me about it a while ago but never told me the date. Well last night he drops on me that it is tonight. I of course say, gee I can't get a sitter that short notice. And he makes off like he didn't expect me to. I guess *I* wasn't invited.

The list continues but that is enough for today. I need to find my happy place again.

At least there is chat tonight if I make it back from karate in time.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 9:39pm

(((((((((((((((((HHHHHUUUUGGGGGGGSSSSSS))))))))))))))

I know that doesn't help...sorry. Its the best I can do, since we don't live that close.

I have to sign off on both of the boys homework....every night. It is a pain! And Tyler's school will get points knocked off if it isn't signed.....which makes parents look bad. And it gets the kids mad at you too, if you forget.

They are trying to teach the kids responsibility, but I think its also a test for us!! LOL
As well as all the other work they want parents doing these days.

Hope to see you later on chat!

michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-16-2006 - 11:21pm

I made a nasty reply to the teacher about it honestly. We are supposed to be teaching her responsibility, etc. Well part of that is it is her responsibility to bring me her reading log to sign. She can NEVER do that. I have always had to sign reading logs so no big deal. To actually get her to do her homework and me sign in every night would mean me back to sitting there with her doing each and every piece with her all night. I do not have the time for that with all 4 kids.

Homework is meant to be independent practice. As a parent my responsibility is to set a time, quiet place and materials for her homework but the rest has to be up to her. That means setting up supports and etc so she CAN do it. I don't mind doing my part in that. I even have a reinforcer program in place that has been for years. But the school has to do theres too. They say they are but the DON"T get it.

However, now hear me out, but I have a real problem with sitting on top of her for her homework every night. Not because I am lazy but because I don't want to have to sit on top of her when she is an adult so she can go to work and pay her bills. She needs to be taught the skills to be able to do these things independently. When they start to teach her the organizational skills she needs so that I KNOW she can be successful independently then maybe I will feel differently. But for now I am SICK of the inuendo that I am a bad uninvolved parent.

The killer is that I have checked her homework planner each night and she has done what she is supposed to as far as I can tell from her planner so I would have signed it anyway and it still wouldn't have been turned in.

UGH.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Fri, 11-17-2006 - 8:59am

I couldn't agree with you more, Renee. It gets stinky overwhelming trying to get all of the stuff done that the school's expect us to get done. It makes me crazy, and my three are only in 1st, 2nd and 3rd! I can't begin to imagine how you get done as much as you do.

The thing that's killing us right now is the writing assignments! OMG! Our third grader (aspie) had to come up with ten laws he would create if he were elected president, THEN, pick two of those laws and explain how they would affect kids. We spent over three hours working on it between Tuesday night (when he got the assigment) and last night (had to be turned in today). Wednesday night our 2nd grader was in tears because I was trying to explain her writing assignment, and she kept saying, "I don't get it. I just don't get it." UGH!!!

A couple of weeks ago, I got the "bad parenting" award because I forgot to send DD's (1st grader) monthly classroom snack. Well the teacher sent the list out at the beginning of the school year for the entire semester, and I forgot to check the calendar. To be honest, I don't appreciate buying snacks for 24 kids when my DD won't even EAT any of the "approved options" on the snack list!

Oh...wow...guess I needed to vent a little too. Sorry for hijacking the post, Renee.

Amy

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-17-2006 - 9:48am

I went to a conference the local education agency puts on every year for special education parents. One of the talks I went to was on homework and it was clearly stated that homework should be INDEPENDENT work the student can do themselves. Of course giving a practice spelling test or listening to a small child read is one thing, but having to reteach at night is a completely different thing. I also sign off on Mike and Emily's homework sheet for the week that I read the class note and that they actually did homework. But it should be independent practice and they should be able to do it within a reasonable amount of time.

I have also spoken to her therapist as well as educational consultant. At Cait's age she needs to learn the skills to be able to do it on her own. I am doing an injustice by helping her too much because then she will pass through and appear to have skills she does not have. Perhaps when they finally get that assistive tech assessment done or start breaking down things in a way that works for her then I will be a little more helpful.

Ya know, I wouldn't mind signing the planner if it wasn't the insinuation that I am not doing my job that I always get. Maybe I am being to sensitive. I will find out today since I sent a nasty note in, lol.

Renee

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