Guidance needed please....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2010
Guidance needed please....
5
Thu, 09-02-2010 - 7:13pm
I need advice please. I am in recent contact with a beautiful little girl with big blue eyes. She appears to be in a world of her own, not really aware of the other 8 or so children in the room with her. At almost 4 years old, her language is immature. She speaks clearly but with the same pitch in her voice. It seems she is very deliberate with her words and her sentences are very short and seem broken. Do I make sense?? Her behavior is very odd. Coloring on tables and taking toys from others. Loves music, and loves to paint. Her expression doesn't really change, although she smiled during music today. Seems bright, almost advanced compared to her peers. Doesn't seem to understand when told that she has to behave a certain way. I have many years experience with children and I can't shake the feeling that something is terribly wrong. I am not sure what to do or what to say to her parents. My heart is very involved and breaking. I plan to give her a little more time (a month or so) and then meet with her parents. Does this behavior pattern sound familiar???
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Fri, 09-03-2010 - 7:32am
It sounds like your contact with her is in a preschool. Talk to one of the teachers, they should be trained in identifying issues. They can also refer to the parents to the local agency that evaluates children. Where I live it is called Childfind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sat, 09-04-2010 - 12:16pm

First off, I believe that you should trust your gut and if your gut is telling you something is different about this little girl, then you do kind of owe it to her to make her parents aware (if they aren't already). They already may know and be "testing" to see if she will do OK in a regular setting, they may not have a clue that she is any different (particularly if she is a first or only child), or they may be in denial.

The best way to do this is to concentrate on potential areas of need and forget about suggesting any specific diagnoses. For example, you may want to say her *speech* is fine, she articulates clearly, but her *language* seems to be behind in comparison to her peers. "If she were my child, I would take her to a speech and language pathologist to be evaluated. They can do great things with kids, especially if they start young. Here is the number for the preschool evaluations department of the School District" (as she is over 3yo the school district will be the people to call).

That is probably the least scary way to approach it for the parent 'just a little language delay' and off they go. Once they get into the system the district *should* do a comprehensive evaluation and if there is anything beyond that to be found, they should find it

You could also go the more scary way and have a laundry list of your concerns ready for them. Maybe that would do as a plan B, if they poo-poo the language thing.

Good luck. I'm glad this little girl has someone looking out for her. My son's daycare people were the ones who first made me aware that something was seriously up and I am forever grateful to them.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2010
Sat, 09-04-2010 - 8:28pm

Thank you so much Paula!! That was exactly what I was looking for, a Parent who has been through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
Sun, 09-05-2010 - 10:37pm

I think a gentle nudge from a concerned professional is never misplaced. Probably not a full-on 'have you considered that your child might have ASD' because, apart from anything else as you have pointed out, you aren't really qualified to say. But something along the lines of 'I know X is a really bright, great kid, but I wonder if you've noticed that she seems to struggle a bit with ....it might be helpful to have her tested and see if there is anything extra the school could do to support her at this stage'. This raises the issue in a non-threatening way, gives them something positive and constructive to go on. I know we had several professionals raise red flags for us which we initially dismissed, but together it started to add up to something that confirmed our own concerns, and the combination of information was very helpful when we did eventually start pursuing some more answers. And we didn't get a diagnosis til our DS was 8, so we did miss a lot of years where if we had listened more carefully and been more proactive about pushing for answers we could have helped him more.


Kirsty, mum to Euan (11, Aspergers Syndrome) Rohan (7, NT) and Maeve (4, NT)

"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"


"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"


Follow my blog on http://mumsnet.com/blogs/kirsteinr/


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 4:28am
Our son was diagnosed PDD NOS when he was 4. And it was his teacher from preschool who told us that there is something wrong with him. We already knew that but it was really hard to accept it, we were hoping that everything will get better when he goes to preschool and meet other children. But it got worst. I can say that it is really hard for the parents, at the beginning my wife was so angry with the teacher because she said that our son may be autistic, but then we realised that she was doing a perfect job and she was caring about our son. Now we are so happy to have a teacher like her. So i think this little girl and her family need your help.