Half sibling/time/visitation crisis.
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Half sibling/time/visitation crisis.
| Mon, 12-18-2006 - 11:10pm |
Hi everyone.
My daughter has PDD-NOS/High Functioning Autism and I would really appreciate some advice.


hmmm, I am thinking there is more than meets the eye.
Being an ASD kid who hates change, probably has real trouble with time and sequences, perhaps separation issues, etc, she gets really unnerved by this leaving every week and can't explain the feelings to you.
I wonder if she doesn't realize that Amanda is coming back and she is scared she is going to be gone forever. Even if it is the routine every week, kids with ASD, particularly young ones can have trouble with object permanance, (if they don't see it, it isn't there) as well as a sense of time (1 hour or eternity=all the same to them). Etc.
So my thought is a few things to help relieve her anxiety. First a social story with pictures about the whole routine and how Amanda will be back again next weekend.
Then add to that perhaps some pictures she can have of Amanda while Amanda is gone. And finally, if Amanda is open to the idea, how about a couple scheduled phone calls during the week or if you are tech savy, a computer call with a webcam so she can see Amanda at her other house.
Hope some of those ideas help
Renee
Hello!
I'm a lurker here, but I just wanted to add to Renee's great suggestions that you use a wall calendar somewhere that your daughter can see, and make a point of showing her exactly which days her sister will be visiting. If she is not familiar with a calendar yet, it may take some time for her to understand the concept, but after she understands how it works it might help. I started using one for my son when he was four, and it helped ease some of his anxiety. I tape the page for each month to his door (one month at a time of course!), and I write in entries for every day that he has preschool or visits to therapists, etc. He really enjoys checking the calendar every day, although he mostly has his schedule memorized now. It also helped him learn the days of the week and months.
Hope that helps!
Jean
hello
the computer ate the response i just typed, so i'll try again.
my son visits his dad 2xs a week.the hour before he leaves is hell.he yells, throws things,etc. transitions are always hard for him. he's had the same visitation schedule for 8 years. each visitation day i can count the minutes til son's behavior changes.
Other people have posted some great ideas-midweek phone call,calendars
How about an activity for your daughter sunday afternoon? She could have something for herself with you and your husband and sd could do something together. Or if she won't separate from sd, maybe an activity for all 4 of you to do together. Like a ritual to end the visit.
Hope you find an answer to your situation.
All the suggestions so far are awesome. Being military, we've had to deal with these separations pretty much Victor's whole life. One thing that is HUGE with helping Victor is letting him help Dad get ready for a deployment. He'd make sure Dad had everything he'd needed before the guys left. Maybe she could spend that last hour before big sis left just the two of them and your dd could help her get ready to leave. Altho, be forwarned, this did backfire on me once last year. This is a tactice we've used with Victor since he was 4 and last year when Dad went to Iraq, we gave him monthly warnings and then weekly the last month and finally daily the last week that Dad was leaving. The day his father left, we took him to the airport, he gave his dad a hug and kiss and told him that he loved him and as we drove away he looked at me and said "But I didn't know Dad was leaving TODAY." If she has a special ritual to do everytime big sis leaves, it might help ease the transition as well.
Alexis