Hand Flapping...Chewing....scripting?
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| Sat, 07-16-2005 - 10:30pm |
Hi. My son is diagnosed with verbal dyspraxia but I suspect at some point he may receive a diagnosis somewhere on the spectrum - maybe PDDNOS or Aspergers along with the dyspraxia. I have a few questions about his quirks.
Hand flapping - Is is always a bad sign? Does anyone have a NT child that did it?
Does it look the way it sounds? My son will flap his hands (not near face though) when he likes a play activity.
Chewing - My son loves to chew on things at age 3 1/2. He will chew on his clothes, pillows or blankets. I offer him a wet washcloth, to meet this need in a slightly more socially acceptable way. I don't know if this could be a spectrum/stimulatory type behavior or if it could be a need for oral stimulation, to strengthen his weak muscles..
Scripting - My son does what I refer to as scripting. He repeats extended segements of books or videos. Again, does anyone have a NT child that did this?
Hyperlexic - Is anyone else's child reading?
He does have lots of strengths. He is very connected with family members. We already get plenty of services.....my questions are more about my attempt to figure out his true diagnosis. I am a chronic over analyzer and worrier.
Thanks for any input.
Chrissy

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Mary,
The "hiding" you mention is totally not your parenting. I repeat:
It is NOT parenting. It is a sensory thing. I can't remember which one, as I have loaned my copy of the "out of sync child" to someone and I can't look it up. I think it is tactile hypersensitivity or proprioceptive hyposensitivity.
Bottom line: An enclosed space makes these kids feel safer. Trust me, I know. I do it. (-I used to co-CL the Sensory Integration Dysfunction board, BTW). I hide under my desk in times of exteme stress. (scared the crap out of an employee in April when there was a death in my family. She found me under the desk hysterical and didn't know what to do!)
Many, many of our kids do it also. My son kept an old TV box in his room to go to for some quiet time. He had it for several years. In the end, it was practically furnished! I know there are several kids on this board who (used to) sleep under their beds/cribs. In fact, IKEA sells an over-the-bed canopy for these kids. -IKEA is very up on sensory issues and has loads of great products.
I would allow your DD to "hide", -she needs to do it to calm down and feel organized, but teach her to tell you where she is, and *train* her to answer when you call (big issue with DS) so that when she is hiding, and you are looking for her, she will verbally respond to her name, and you will know she is safe.
I woudl also schedule an Ocupational Therapy evaluation by a therapist trained in Sensory Theory. Both my kids have moderate-severe sensory issues, as have I, and OT has actually changed my life. It has been clinically proven that the earlier OT starts, the more effective it is.
Good luck and please let us know how it goes.
-Paula
PS. Feel free to ask any quesion you may have on this I know it is weird to some people.
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Hi mary,
My Mike did alot of hiding and Dave slept under the beds. It seemed like a sensory type thing for lack of a better way to discribe it. It was kind of like how animals often like small safe dens and places. I think the world just felt so big they liked to hide in small safe places. Perhaps the way thier body senses the world or the sounds, lights are too much.
Mike no longer hides under tables though when stressed he may cover his ears, sit cross legged and put his head in his lap. His little way of hiding I guess. Dave no longer sleeps under beds, but he has a rail around his bed since it is a top bunk that has been de-bunked.
They are also 5 and 9 now. Things do get better as they get older, lol.
Oh, with Dave we finally just took the crib away and got a little tent like thing and put that in his room with lots of pillows and blankets and he slept in that for probably 2 years until he went into his current de-bunked bunk bed. He still sleeps with lots of stuffed toys, pillows and blankies. He likes to sleep well surrounded. But once we did that tent thing he slept alot better.
Editted to add, actually after rereading some other posts, I realize that the boys still do this but I hadn't really noticed it as much. It is just them. Dave likes to sit or lie under the couch cushions and other heavy things. We also have an ikea swing that is very enclosed and you will often find them in that too.
Renee
Edited 7/25/2005 12:37 am ET ET by rbear4
Thank you. Some part of me knows it's not really my fault, but I still feel...ineffectual. I constantly feel like I should write all those publishers of the parenting books and ask for refunds, because this child has benefited from none of them. heh.
Anyway...to answer your questions. My DH thinks she's looking for attention, but I don't think so, and I spend a lot more time with her. She just seems more comfortable in closed places. For instance, today she was with me in the gym locker room and having trouble calming herself down. Suddenly she's quiet and I look up to see her with her head in a cubby hole, sucking her thumb. And, she doesn't respond to me unless she's sure I know where she is, like when I'm sitting on the edge of her bed and she can see my feet from under the crib.
You know, I'm not sure why this is bothering me so much. She's got lots of other quirks that I've just taken in stride. Why has this one pushed me overe the edge. I stayed up a long time last night thinking about it, but don't have a good answer.
Thank you again
Mary
I think I know you're right intellectually. For some reason I'm just emotionally foundering with this one. I don't know why. It might have something to do with an exchange I heard on a talk radio show. A man called in to complain about his daughter in law's parenting and sited as an example the habit of his preschool aged granddaughter to hide in things. The host's reply was an immediate "Who's abusing your granddaughter?"
Anyway...Thank you for sharing. It makes me feel a little better and gives me another thing to look up and think about, which makes me feel more useful and proactive. heh.
Thank you again.
Mary
Thank you. I'm starting to do some reading again and I realize that my daughter probably has more than one sensory issue. I'm glad I posted here, because my mother was trying to tell me that I was overreacting and DH was trying to tell me that I just wasn't meeting her needs for interaction and I had a gut feeling that is was something else.
It was funny that you mentioned that your son covers his ears. I'm not sure why, but I never noticed, until today, that my daughter does that when we're out in public...That and crawling into clothes racks in stores. heh.
Mary
Hi Mary,
I am coming in late here, but I just wanted to say my 3 yo boy loves to hide too. And for him it is a sensory thing that makes him feel secure, just like everyone said.
Something I do with him, just an idea and may not work with your little one, but maybe worth a try, is make a "momma cave" with him. I know it sounds weird but bear with me. Eric is a bit sensitive to light touch on his skin and does not really like me to hug him (although he likes to hug me and in general craves a lot of physical stimulation). Eric loves to lay face down with his head in my lap and his feet and arms pulled up under him and I put my arms over him like a "cave." It seems to help him calm down sometimes and gives me my maternal desire for cuddle time, which is rare with Eric.
Also, Eric often wants to know where I am and that I am near, but not necessarily to be physically close. This is painful for me too sometimes so I just take advantage of those time he does want to be close or in his "momma cave."
I am looking in the tents too, as I can tell he would love those.
I also wanted to say I sympathize with your feeling about having an issue that upsets you more when other quirks do not. Eric has lots of quirks, but the one that sets me off the most is when he tells me first thing in the morning, "momma go away." He just can't always seem to take my desire to hug him and say good morning etc. and it always hurts me when he does this. I tend to feel rejected, even though I know he does not really mean it the way it sounds.
I finally have tried to take things on his terms and let him have a little quiet alone time and personal space first thing in the morning before I swoop in and start pushing him to get dressed etc. I think my morning cheeriness is too much and he just needs to ease into the day.
Anyway, we are all here for you and our children's sensory issues are real and definitely not the result of parenting.
Sending you hugs,
Katherine
We do the "momma cave"! My daughter calls it "mommy blankie" but its the same idea. That's so funny.
She likes to be in my lap and even cuddled when she's tired, but she has to initiate it. It's always been like that. If I try to hug her when she's hasn't asked for a hug she arches her back and pulls away, but often wants to be in physical contact with me. Well one day she was sitting on my lap while we played a dinosaur game on the computer and she grabbed my arm and put it across her chest and said "Be a mommy blankie". Since then its evolved and depending on her mood can mean anything from and a hand on her chest to my whole upper body curled over her like a human tent.
We picked her up a little pop up tent yesterday and she's upstairs napping in it right now.
Mary
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