Have you ever lost your kid?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Have you ever lost your kid?
12
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 8:23pm

I was reading a post at the Parenting Issues Debate board and the poster said that anyone who lost a kid, even for a few seconds, is an irresponsible parent and basically deserves the anguish and agony of losing the kid.

                                

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 11-30-2007 - 6:25pm

I agree, that woman is a moron and not worth the energy it would take to read her post.

I've lost the older two several times. Euan (now 9, Asperger's) will often go off into la-la land and he's always getting left behind in museums, galleries, school outings...he's very good, when he realises he's lost he just stays put and waits for someone to find him. The worst is when we are out cycling and he goes off ahead on his own and I have to stay with his brother (4, NT) and I just have to pray that he remembers to stop when he can't see us - so far he does, but you never know when the fairies will pre-occupy him!

The 4 year old is a terror for running off, and unfortunately I have rheumatoid arthritis so on a bad day I can't chase him - he never goes out of sight but I know that I attract some pitying looks. I did lose him once at a wedding - both DH and I thought the other one had an eye on him, and we all got a fright, but he was fine, had wandered off through the gardens. But that was the longest 10 minutes of my life! He's also a slight terror in that he's very friendly and open, and will talk to anyone, so we have to keep reiterating the 'don't wander off with strangers' message or he'd walk off with anyone given half a chance.

Luckily the youngest DS (2, NT) is a complete mummy's girl and would rather stick like glue to my legs than wander off.

I would judge myself much more harshly if either of the NT's got lost, because they 'get' the lessons and respond properly to discipline/boundary setting/rules. To be honest when Euan wanders off it's because he's in la-la-land with the fairies and no amount of boundary setting/rules/discipline techniques are going to stop that happening so I am not going to beat myself up over it. Instead I concentrate on teaching him to be as self sufficient as possible and to try and remember what to do when he loses us, which I think is a better way of dealing with it anyway. How are kids going to learn what to do in a crisis if they never leave your side? Is that moron woman going to holding her kid's hand when he crosses the road to his college classes??

Kirsty, mum to Euan (9, Asperger's) Rohan 4 (NT) and Maeve, (2, NT)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
Sat, 12-01-2007 - 8:20pm
I lost my ds once. I was shopping and he was right next to me asking about going to the toy dept. I told him in just a minute. I looked around about 2 sec. later and he was gone. You know how our kiddos can get something in their head and that is it!!! I looked behind some racks, and started going to the toy dept., when I heard my name called on the intercom. He was in the toy dept., realized I wasn't and started to cry. An employee asked him my name, he told her and they called me. AAHHHH! At least he remembered my name, and what to do if he gets lost.
Carey

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