Have you experienced this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Have you experienced this?
13
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 5:00pm

A little background:


My 2.5 yo doesnt have a dx -- but I suspect something on the spectrum.

Tait-R-Tot #2

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 8:18pm

Hi Stef,

I really don't have any suggestions about how to help your son transition better. My younger son (he'll be 4 next month, and is not on the spectrum as far as we know) dislikes our CDC intensely. Too loud, I think.

But what caught my eye about your post is that you are seeing a developmental ped. AND you are an Army wife. As an Army wife, myself, I have had a really tough time navigating the military's idea of healthcare. We saw a developmental ped. at Ft. Campbell for my older son, he is 8. We did as much research as we could, we read, we studied and we were quite sure CJ has Asperger's. We asked the developmental ped to test him for something on the spectrum and she refused. Plain, flat-out refused. She said she saw NO signs of AS. How could she, she never stopped talking long enough to listen to us or him, or even watch him. She was content with an ADHD diagnosis. This was last March after DH returned from Iraq.

We moved in July to Redstone Arsenal, AL and immediately started requesting referrals to a neurophychologist. We finally got someone to listen to us in September. We received the dx in December, officially in January.

I guess my point is, you need to DEMAND that you be referred out to a civillian doc. The military docs (even if they are civillian but working on post) are not going to listen to you willingly.

Go with your gut. If you think there is something going on, you need to stay on top of the doctors until they either listen or give you the referral to see someone else.

I wish you luck. I hope your little one begins to do better at the CDC. Goodness knows it is so hard to see your baby so upset.

I hope this helps a bit.

Crystal

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Fri, 03-11-2005 - 8:59pm

Yes, it is possible for a child to be completely different in school than at home. School is very stressful and chaotic and unpredictable, esp. to a child on the spectrum. My son also was pleasant with great eye contact and interaction at home, but struggled in school. He did learn over time, however, how to interact in his small special needs daycare. He went 25 hours a week, however, and it did take quite awhile for him to start interacting consistently with the other children at school. (Except he made one close friend right away, with whom he is still very tight 5 years later!)

I take it this is all new for your son. He will learn with help and time, but if he is on the spectrum, this will be an area of difficulty for him and the help he will get from therapists will be crucial. I feel that it is also essential that his challenges come gradually and he not be asked to handle situations that other children his age have an easy time with until he is ready. Keeping his social anxiety at a minimal is key.

This has worked so well with us. Slowly, Malcolm has been catching up and blossoming socially as well as in every other area in his life. He now has lots of wonderful friends, does so much better at birthday parties and even in situations where he doesn't know the children well. We have had to put a great deal of work into his success. But he is completely worth all the work!!!

You asked about how to help with transitions. Social stories with pictures help. Can you make up a story book about going to school for him? Picture schedules can be helpful. Maybe you can take pictures of you and him,, how you get there, saying goodbye, the kids and teachers, etc. Or you can draw a schedule about going to school, including that you will both miss each other but that he will have fun and be well cared for. There are children's books about separation and school that might help. Read these at night and maybe again before you take him to school.

Good luck to you. I remember it was so difficult when we were first starting out our journey with our son, so frightening and overwhelming. We just put one foot in front of the other, every day, trying to not freak out about things we cannot predict. I also try very, very hard NOT to compare my son to other children his age. He is unique and special, and in the long run of his life it doesn't matter if he took a different route to learn and grow. These boards have been helpful to me. Also other parents whose children are like mine have been a great resource and support!

Stay in touch and let us know how everything is going!

yours,

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Sat, 03-12-2005 - 8:32am

Kids with social anxiety act just like you described. My dd was dx with selective mutism when she was 3. She appeared to possible have pdd/autism in the classroom. At home it was obvious she didn't. And like your son my dd would/can be fine in some social situation but a school setting was especially difficult for her. You you think anxiety might be the cause of your son's difficulty this site is a good resource. http://www.childhoodanxietynetwork.org/

Samantha

Samantha
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Sat, 03-12-2005 - 11:01am

Thank you for all of your thoughtful and informative responses.


I am truly concerned about the whole military-moving-tricare-treatment thing... our particular situation is that we will be moving in July to Kansas, I am due with baby#2 in Sept, and DS turns 3 in October.

Tait-R-Tot #2

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Sat, 03-12-2005 - 11:14pm

((((Stef))))

~ Chelsea
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Sun, 03-13-2005 - 9:19am

I am competely overwhelmed!

Tait-R-Tot #2

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2004
Sun, 03-13-2005 - 2:01pm

Stef,

My son, Cassian (age 5, PDD-NOS, hyperlexic), sounds similar to yours. I also used to work in early intervention, so I have a good idea what the screening measures your pediatrician used may have contained. It may be that organized groups are especially a problem for your son. This is a problem that many spectrum kids have, and if it is their main issue with few accompanying problems, they may not show symptoms at home. He sounds like he does not have the sensitivity issues that would set off other kids with ASD's in crowded places, however, as play interactions become more complex, he may feel lost because he cannot sequence behaviors and respond to the other kids as quickly as most children do. He may be operating tolerably well at home and in unstructured social situations because he mostly uses known social scripts (e.g., "Hi, my name is ______.").

Because ASD's vary in their manifestation from child to child, you will see a lot of heterogeneity in these kids. Many are not identified until elementary school because they function so well in unstructured social situations and because the simpler more scripted interactions of early childhood come easily for them. The more they move away from one-on-one adult-child interaction into peer groups, the worst it becomes for them. I would look specifically for evidence that your son does or does not engage in prolonged sequences of imaginative play with a peer. If he only asks to borrow a toy that another child has and then goes off and plays with it himself, this is not a prolonged sequence. If one child is making truck noises, and your son looks at him and responds by making his truck have noises, too, is it unlikely he is impaired in his play.

I would get a formal behavioral assessment through Early Intervention (often called Infant-Toddler services) or your school system. EI is for kids under 3, while those over 3 are covered by public schools. Ask your SLP about where to get one of these. Again, I'm not saying your son definately has an ASD, but there are enough warning signs in his behavior now that suggest he could. If he does end up with a dx of ASD, there are great therapies out there that can really help him. Dx of ASD is not a "death sentence," and many kids do come off the spectrum with therapy. At this point, you need to figure out which way to go in his treatment, however.

Best wishes to you,

Suzi

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2003
Sun, 03-13-2005 - 3:53pm

For the discipline part, no matter what the dx, 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas Phelan is great!

~ Chelsea
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2005
Sun, 03-13-2005 - 4:04pm

Thank you so much... I appreciate each and every word!


I just borrowed the MAGIC 1-2-3 book from my neighbor today!!! Watch-out Zach... here comes the counting!!!!! LOL :)


I am going to head to the bookstore tonight... any suggestions on ASD books?

Tait-R-Tot #2

Avatar for cl_redcows
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 03-13-2005 - 4:33pm

I took Nathan to the Dev ped for the 1st time when he was about 2y4m she didn't think he would be PDD, but said their was something going on.


We went back last Aug (2y 6m) I took with me the checklist for Dx of asperger's.

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