Haven't dealt with this before.......
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| Sat, 09-10-2005 - 2:06pm |
Tyler is now going to Nathan's school this year. Yesterday, a little boy walked up to Tyler and asked him if he was Nathan's brother. He said yes and then the boy said something about how Nathan cries alot. Tyler didn't respond to the comment, I don't think he knew what to say to that. I think that's why he told me about the incident.
I showed Nathan's class picture (last year's pic) to Tyler to see if he recognized the boy who talked to him. I figured it had to be a boy from last year, since this year just started, and he hasn't melted down yet. He wasn't sure who it was. A couple of boys had blond hair and looked quite a bit alike.
What do I tell Tyler? How should he have responded to that comment? I'm thinking he should've said something. But these kids are just 1st graders....6yrs old. You can't really explain autism to them, so what do you say? Tyler doesn't want to go into detail about his brother's issues, but I know that he would like to say something to defend his brother.
Have any of you been in this situation? I'm at a loss of what to do, or what to say.
Michelle

Michelle,
I think he did the right thing. If you don't know what to say, nothing usually the best choice.
Finding any other response is tricky. I would avoid having him get into any involved explanations, and certainly avoid any references to 'different' or "special" because that will inspire follow-on questions and you don't want that.
Maybe he could say that Nathan is sensitive, or that Nathan doesn't like change very much. I wouldn't go any farther than that.
I will keep thinking about this one and see if I have any bright ideas.
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Michelle,
I'm at school quite often, either working in the lunchroom or sitting with a classroom and now all the time because of PTO. Last year the children in his class would tell me that Chase sings all the time. Several of the kids told me Chase likes to go to la la land when he is in class. At first, I'll be honest, I wanted to cry but it is so normal for people to notice differences from the "norm" so I just turned it into a question. 'Do you ever go to la la land?', and one of them said yeah he does it too. And about the singing I told one little girl that I sing all the time too because it makes me happy and she just smiled. It is hard though because they are too young to understand completely. I'm sorry Nathan's brother had to deal with that but I think he did the right thing too by not saying much at all. Vicky
When my DS was getting ready to enter the special ed pre-school (which is in the elementary school), I asked my older DD if she ever saw the pre-school kids around the building.
"Yeah," she said. "They are always crying."
Honestly, I don't think it's a big deal. It's the kind of thing that 1st graders notice, and I really doubt he was being malicious.
Now you and I do have to figure out something to do if one of our older kids' friends does say something. I dread that day.
Take care,
Cathy
Thanks for all of your responses. I'm trying to find some alone time with Tyler to discuss this with him. I want to be able to give him some advice, to help him feel comfortable. I don't want him to feel awkward about things. I don't want other kids making him feel uncomfortable.
Thanks again,
Michelle