Having another BOY -- support needed

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
Having another BOY -- support needed
4
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 7:10am

Hi All,

I have 6-year old DS, Jack, who is PDD-NOS, and 2 typical girls (3 and 9).

Yesterday, I found out I'm having another BOY. Part of me is thrilled, and part of me is going to worry like crazy for THREE YEARS (maybe longer). I am hoping against all hope for a NT boy. If he's not, I know we can handle it, but I'd prefer not to. I live near Yale, and I will plan to enroll him in their baby sibs study, so I can at least have other eyes on him.

Please, I'd love some support or advice if you have some to offer.

Thanks,
Cathy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2007
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 9:28pm

(((Cathy)))

Know that being pg is wonderful...yea!!!

As for your fears; I know statistically it's high for ds's to be dx ASD; and thats once you have one your'e chance of having ASD #2 is higher, HOWVER.....risks are just par for the course with having kids in general. Heck, Roan (a girl) was born with a hip and heart defect that we have since been able to deal with but in terms of ASD....sems ok so far;) Liam is HF autie, Cian is somewhere on the spectrum but very mildly affacted. I love all my kids, and I will say it here, I may even have another one day, even with the possibility for another Liam or a more affected baby.

Relax...wait until the baby is hear, and give it time.....oh and more inportantly, enjoy the pg and looove the baby before you panic. As dh just said to me...take it as it comesw!!!!

(((Hugs)))

Dee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 9:48am

Cathy,


I have never been in your position, so I can hardly imagine what you are going through. I would say to try and relax and enjoy the good things about preganacy and babyhood. I know it will be very hard not to scrutinize the new boy at every developmental milestone, but try not to let that stress get in the way of your relationship with him. No matter if he is

-Paula

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 6:18pm

I have 2 boys and 2 girls. I have one of each that's AS and one of each that's NT. You really don't know until they get here what you'll end up with.

With my last pregnancy I was praying and negotiating with God to get a 2nd NT child (actually, at that point I didn't have any clue about AS, I just knew that I had 2 kids that had some quirks and issues). I insisted I'd prefer to have another colicky baby that was NT than to have another AS child. My NT babies started off colicky but got better. My AS kids started off calm but got more difficult.

Although my AS kids can be very draining when they're in their "moods," and they're often incapable of independently caring for themselves, when they ARE in their good moods, they are sweet, easy-going, delightful humans. My youngest NT dd is a capable and independent child which I appreciate and enjoy, but boy-oh-boy is she a spitfire with a mind of her own. She's definitely not AS, but she sure has moods to rival her AS siblings, and she's often in a snit about something! I got the NT child I asked for, but some days I wonder what on earth I was thinking when I asked for this?!

Anyway, my point is, you may get another AS/PDD, or you may end up with an NT. Either way, there are pluses and minuses to each side. It's nice that you can have the baby enrolled in a baby sibling study where extra people will be watching for signs of developmental delays. I hope you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy without too much worry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 07-31-2007 - 2:48pm

Hey Cathy ~


Just lurking here and saw your post.

Jan & Matthew (11) - mild hypotonia, apraxia, dysarthria, autism