He doesn't avoid touch...

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Registered: 03-25-2003
He doesn't avoid touch...
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Sun, 08-07-2005 - 2:50am
ugh, I'm on my 3rd book about AS or homeschooling AS kids, and I keep finding the descriptions are right on, except my son doesn't avoid touching people. Actually quite the opposite, he has a hard time respecting personal boundaries, misses ques that most people would take as "please don't touch me now" (btw, I do this really bad too). I'm almost starting to think, well maybe he's not AS if he doesn't have this "approach avoidance" I keep seeing. Can anyone offer advice, support? I just felt so at home at first reading about AS until reading all this about avoiding touch.

Love and Light, Joelle

Homeschooling mom to a 11yr old hydrogen molecule.




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Registered: 10-03-2004
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 9:25am

Dear Joelle,

Diagnosing Spectrum kids is not an exact science. Asperger's Syndrome has some distinct characteristics, but each person is a complete individual and has varying degrees of symptomology. Some Spectrum children are often craving of touch, need it to help feel themselves in space. The overwhelmed sensory system makes our kids over- or under-sensitive in many different ways. It also sounds like you are self-diagnosing rather than going to a professional diagnostician. A thorough evaluation might end up placing your son on a different part of the spectrum than Asperger's, such as PDD-NOS.

I only mention this because you might want outside help if your child is on the spectrum, OT, speech, RDI and social skills, etc. As you are homeschooling, you don't need the professional dx for placing your child educationally, but have you considered getting services through your school district even though you homeschool? Anyways, you might find that you want to have your child evaluated, even through your Board of Ed (probably won't be as thorough or maybe even as accurate as a good neurological psychiatrist) as a way of learning more about your child's strengths and weaknesses, in order to better help you homeschool him.

And then, the ways to treat Spectrum are all similar, no matter what the actual dx. And then are tailered specifically to your child and what he needs, so whether or not the dx is exactly one thing or another doesn't end up being so very important in the long run...

Good luck to you and stick around. This is a great board with lots of very helpful posters.

yours,

Sara
ilovemalcolm

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 9:59am
Yes, for now it's kinda self-diagnosing, what sounds closest to right, until I can get him in for a formal diagnosis. I do plan to see if the county educational can help. I definitely think he needs some therapy, helps that I either need help to learn how to do, or for a professional to do them.

Love and Light, Joelle

Homeschooling mom to a 11yr old hydrogen molecule.




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Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 10:09am

Hi!Welcome to the board!

My ds Jake(12,AS) doen't know the boundaries of touch. He has a very hard time with spacial concepts. He ask for a hug at least 5 times a day and will come over and sit next to me just to lounge on my shoulder. ALso, when he is in school he will hug each one of his teacher at the beginning and ending of class. We have tought him to ask first and to not give rough or tight hugs(he like to squeeze tight). We are also working with him in that you need to stand at least arms length when speaking to people.

Hope I have helped you some.

Liza

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 11:27am

Actually, avoiding touch or seeking touch is not an asperger specific thing. Kids with AS often avoid touch because they will also have significant sensory integration problems. There are a wide variety of SI problems of which touch avoidance is only one, just one of the more common. It is called being "tactile defensive" but what you are describing is also a sensory problem in that he is likely sensory seeking. My youngest does that.

Wanna have fun, watch my 2 boys play. The oldest is tactile defensive and the youngest is sensory seeking. OH BOY, does that make for a screaming good time when they are both in a sensory mood.

But actually, kids can be overly touchy and be just as much AS as a kid who avoids touch. Like you said, not knowing boundaries shows just as much lack of social awareness. There is a list of diagnostics on the community website that may be helpful for you.

If you have met one kids with autism, you have met one kid with autism. Don't let 1 symptoms or common trait of AS keep you from seeking a diagnosis for him. These guys are all very different and it would be best to get a full evaluation to see just what his particular strengths and needs are.

Renee

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Registered: 12-24-2004
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 5:36pm

I am not sure which books you are reading, but avoiding touch applies only to kids who have tactile sensitivities. My child has a great deal of insensitivity and is a stimulation seeker. He is diagnosed with an autistic spectrum disorder and loves touching others. He likes to touch others' clothing if it is furry, especially. He likes touching hair and beards. He hugs and kisses people he has just met and leans up against people he hardly knows. He is super affectionate. We are having to teach him about "touch boundaries" because as he gets older these actions will not be acceptable. He is only 5.5 now, so it is less of an issue.

Suzi

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 7:39pm
now that so describes my son, not understanding touch bondaries

Love and Light, Joelle

Homeschooling mom to a 11yr old hydrogen molecule.




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Avatar for finian
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 7:46pm

thanks for the welcome and

Love and Light, Joelle

Homeschooling mom to a 11yr old hydrogen molecule.




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Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 7:58pm

LOL @ the descriptions of your boys. I often do stuff like that to my SO, totally missing any clues that he might not want me to be cuddly on a given day. He calls me an amobea :D


I knew that "tactile defensiveness" is an SI trait, but the last AS book I read ("Choosing Home" by Martha Kennedy Hartnet) was the one that really got me all in a tither. The children profiled were all tactile defensive. I need to find another book about homeschooling AS kids. most of the kids in that book weren't brought home until middle or high school & had huge problems because of it. i noticed Finn was having issues in kindergarten & brought him home


hopefully within the next month or so I can get a full evaluation. I know I need help.

Love and Light, Joelle

Homeschooling mom to a 11yr old hydrogen molecule.




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Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 8:15pm

My ds who was just diagnosed with AS doesn't avoid touch either. He can be uncomfortable about touching and feels somewhat awkward with hugging, but he does hug and definatley seems to not respect others personal space at times. I'm finding as I read books I begin to question the diagnosis, but the important thing to remember is that everybody is different. I know I suspected AS for a while but after reading the diagnostic criteria I put it out of my mind because he didn't seem to quite fit. Now that I Know more Im seeing how much this IS him and I can't beleive it's taken this long to figure it all out.

Amanda

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 08-07-2005 - 8:24pm

I relate to the questioning. it's like, i read one profile & I can see my son. then i read another one that's so unlike him. I try to remember that those on the spectrum often present very different from each other

Love and Light, Joelle

Homeschooling mom to a 11yr old hydrogen molecule.




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