HE started 3rd grde & I'M having anxiety

Avatar for jezpep
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Registered: 04-01-2003
HE started 3rd grde & I'M having anxiety
10
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 7:30pm

I know it's only been a short time of the school year, but I just received his math pre-test. He only completed 20 of the 64 questions, and these are easy, single digit addition. He does these at home all the time! Oh, by the way, Benjamin is 8 and dx'd with PPD, Aspergers, ADHD, and anxiety. His IEP was put into place just a few weeks before 2nd grade ended, so I don't know how well it's working. I'm panicking about how he's going to handle 3rd grade, it's seems so much harder. I haven't talked to his teacher yet, I was trying to give her time to get to know him.

Ug. How many of your children survived 3rd grade? Are they in public or private school? Home schooled?

I'm venting!!!! Thank you for letting me vent??? But help please!!!!
I'm scared.

Thank you! :-)
Molly

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2010
Sun, 09-19-2010 - 4:29am

Take any and everything any of you want from that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 10:13pm

My daughter just started 3rd grade, and I, too, was trying to give the teacher a little room to get to know her (after a couple meetings before school started), and my daughter also did really poorly on her math pretest! In fact, because of a pre-test related meltdown, and fallout afterward, we have a whole new relationship with the teacher. And the special education teacher.

So, here's what I'm telling myself: It's just the beginning of the year. Transitions are always hard. Sure 3rd grade has the reputation as a pivotal year, but I'm probably placing too much significance on the necessity of success this year. I can always home school, and that home schooled kid who wrote "Eragon" claims he never really studied math. How bad can it be? Besides, I have wine.

Mary

Avatar for jezpep
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 4:29pm
Oh my gosh, thank you so much for posting all that. Mind if I steal a few of your suggestions? Thank you, thank you!
Molly
Avatar for jezpep
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Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 4:24pm

Thank you for your great questions. His IEP says he is to take tests privately or in a small group outside of his general classroom. Though we discussed him not being timed, I can't find it in his IEP. So, am going to discuss this with his teacher tomorrow, then change the IEP. I didn't think of fewer problems on the test, I will definitely suggest this. Thanks again for the great questions. Will keep you posted.

Thanks,
Molly

Avatar for jezpep
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 4:19pm

Thank you, Andrea, you're right, I think I'm not giving the situation much time. I need to let everyone learn about each other and let Benjamin get used to the new schedule. I'm glad I have the option to change the IEP as necessary, as we see what works and what doesn't.

Thanks again. I'm breathing deep, and that glass of red wine helped too!
:-)

Molly

Avatar for jezpep
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 4:15pm

Thank you Paula. He does have an IEP, though it was put in place just as 2nd grade was ending. I know I can change it as needed. I have an appointment with his teacher tomorrow and I'm going to make sure she is following the IEP and also see if she wants to add something. I'm glad your children survived 3rd grade! So good to hear.

Thank you again for your thoughts!
Molly

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2010
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 1:14am

We started the IEP process at the end of 1st grade last year and finished it up like last week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 10:13am

Does his IEP include extra time for tests? A smaller group to take tests? Fewer problems on test- enough to demonstrate mastery?

All of the above are things that can be put into an IEP/504 for a child that has the knowledge but needs time and space to prove it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 9:42am

Third grade is definitely harder than second grade, but we made it through it despite a less than perfect placement and you guys can too.

Fine tuning the IEP, looking into possible medications to take the edge off of his anxiety , working with the school team, it all helps.

Keep in mind that it's just the first few weeks of school and it can take some time for our kids to adapt to new changes. I'm not surprised that he choked on a pretest. Graham totally panicked on his first pretest this year and had to bring it home to complete it. They hadn't reassured him that it wasn't something that he had to pass in order to continue at school and he froze. He has a totally new team who don't know him and he doesn't know them. It takes time for a team to start working well together.

I think Paula's suggestion is an excellent one.

Deep breath. Then start doing what needs to be done to get things moving.

Let us know how things go this year.

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 10:52pm

Both my kids (HFA and AS) survived third grade and yours will too. But he may need a little more help than he is getting right now.

Does Banjamin have an IEP? If not, it may be time to start the process to have him evaluated for one. If he does have one, you may need to work with the school to figure out why his knowledge isn't making it onto the paper at achool (distractions? not understanding instructions? the potential reasons are many)

What I would do is make my own sheet of similar (and some the same questions) questions, have him sit down and do them at home, without help, time him and see how he does. If the results are significantly different (i.e. better), I would bring it into the school ad start nicely asking questions of the teacher and the school psychologist about how to bring his school performance on par with his home results.

In my experience, having proof on paper is much harder to dispute than Mom's word.

I HTH and good luck.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com






Edited 9/13/2010 10:55 pm ET by specialmomx2
-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com