Hello, new here and have some questions
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| Fri, 04-20-2007 - 7:57am |
Hello everyone!(this might be kind of long) My name is Michelle. Ive been around ivillage for a while now but never on this board. I actually have a few questions. What is the "normal" age to start noticing or really becoming convinced your child might have Asperger's? The reason I am asking is I have my little boy who just turned 5 in March. Even as a little child he was pretty difficult. I bought all the books on spirited children being convinced thats what it was. Now he is the apple of my parents' eye. They adore him. Anytime I have ever brought up that I thought something was wrong with him to them they told me he was fine that I didnt know what a difficult child was..Hes always had a pretty wild imagination and says things that just dont make any sence sometimes that seem a bit weird...lol. If he has ever watched a tv show that he enjoyed its almost like he thinks it's real and he end up being in like his own little world. Take for example, he likes the show Ben 10. (its a cartoon on cartoon network) and hes totally obsessed with it. In school (hes in pre-k) he insists on his teacher's calling him Ben 10 and I looked at some work that he did in school that they sent home and the name he wrote on the paper was "Ben 10 Tenison" which is the little boy's name on the show. He has always tried to make friends but kid's just kinda look at him like they dont know what hes talking about because he starts talking to them with the things that are going on in "his world" i guess you could say. He doesn't really seem to grasp that other humans have feelings sometimes.Let me add too that hes never had any problem talking. He talked before he could even walk and has an awesome vocabulary. His speech seems to sound a little more "babyish" than the other kid's in his class. Also, hes a math wiz! My husband actually had him doing easy algerbra one night and he understood it. Me and my husband are becoming really worried with his behavior and I had actually never even heard of aspergers until I watched something on Mtv one night and when they were describing it it sounded just like Noah. Ive been doing a little research and im really starting to think he might have this. I just always thought that austism was usually caught at an early age. I dont want to bring it up to my parents because they ill just think we are crazy. Can anyone tell me your thoughts? The more I think about it the more Im worried. Should I set up an appointment with his doctor and talk to him? Any links with information you guys have would be great. Thanks alot and Im sorry this is so long!!
-Michelle
mommy to Noah(5) and Elijah(1)
wife to Jeremie(5 years)


Hi Michelle~
Most of us will tell you, when it doubt, get the child tested. You obviously have reason to believe something is different with your son, and that in and of itself is enough to warrant an evaluation. The hard part is, getting the evaluation. Since I'm not sure where you live, I can't give you any local advice...but if you're anywhere near a major university or a large healthcare center, you should be able to get some suggestions from your referral source. (Which will probably have to be your ped.)
Personally, I'd strongly encourage you to seek a medical evaluation first. Many, many times the schools step in and evaluate kids, but schools cannot diagnose...they can only provide an educational classification. Depending on the district you're in, they may not want to provide any assistance, because the truth is, kids with special needs cost more money. Having an actual medical diagnosis can be critical in getting the school to pay attention to you and address your son's needs. (Should he actually need services.)
From a personal standpoint, hindsight is 20/20. Whenever I voiced concerns about our now 9 year old son, people blew me off...to the point that when somebody actually mentioned he may have some delays, I was completely caught off guard. I even had a Parent-Educator come to our home and tell me that the fact that our son (who was just shy of 3 y/o at the time) had no interest in playing with the other kids was perfectly normal. And of course, all of his grandparents thought he was absolutely perfect. That's their job as grandparents!!!
Please also know that, if it should turn out that your son has Aspergers (or, for that matter, any other spectrum disorder) it can seem devastating at first, but it is not the end of the world. We recently had a long discussion on this board about the fact that Aspergers/Autism/PDD-NOS is life altering, but not life threatening. Remembering this helps me keep my emotions in check, and be more realistic about the challenges we face.
Raising children is never easy, and people who say it is, are liars! ;-) Raising a child with a spectrum disorder has its unique challenges, but it can also be amazingly rewarding. We "spectrum moms" have opportunities to experience the world through a whole different perspective. It can be enlightening, amazing, and at times, extremely entertaining.
Good Luck~
Amy
Michelle,
It is quite common for a child with AS not to be identified until they enter school. Some can tend to be very verbal and bright if a bit quirky. At home in their safe environment they will do well but when they enter school the differences may begin to show a bit more. Kids with more classic autism tend to get identified earlier based on delayed language skills but even then sometimes they aren't diagnosed until they are a bit older as well. I think the median age for dx'ing autism is like 4-5 and with aspergers is like 11 last I checked.
I am with Amy, when in doubt check it out. If you are getting concerned about this then you have reason to look into an evaluation.
Renee
Hi Michelle,
Welcome to our little corner of iVillage.
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com