Help! Obsession with classmate...
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 03-02-2006 - 6:38am |
I think I mentioned a while back about Alex's obsession with a boy in his class, who he calls his "best friend". This boy wants nothing to do with Alex (as I'm sure he's embarrassed him to no end by now). It breaks my heart, because Alex really doesn't have any real friends that he gets together with outside of school, etc. and like many Aspies, doesn't have the social skills it takes to know what constitutes being a "friend". Alex knows he's different, and often complains that kids call him "weird" in school, but he wants SO badly to believe that this boy is his "best friend".
The biggest problem is when the other boy gets in trouble at school (not major trouble, just not following classroom rules, as all 3rd graders will occasionally do). If a student breaks a rule, they get their name put on the board. If this boy gets his name on the board, Alex goes ballistic. He'll yell at the teacher, go erase the name, and completely loses control. Yesterday when I went to the school at the end of the day, Alex was in time-out in the resource room because this boy had gotten into trouble in P.E. class. No matter what I say to Alex, nothing will convince him that what happens between this boy and the teachers is not his business. His only response is, "but we're best friends, and best friends stick together". Last night after we went to bed, dh and I heard Alex yelling in his bed about how unfair it was that this boy got in trouble "for nothing". This obsession has gotten out of hand, and I don't know what to do about it!
I'm ready to ask the school to switch Alex to the other 3rd grade class. Or would it be appropriate to ask the school to have a school district psychologist evaluate him? I'm completely at a loss as what to do. The teachers and resource aid have no clue what to do either. Any ideas???
Sorry this was so long! I'm feeling desparate at this point!
Thanks,
Laurie

Me again... I don't know if no one has any ideas for me, or if my post got inadvertantly overlooked.
Anyone have any thoughts on my dilemma?
Thanks,
Laurie
Laurie
Hi Laurie,
I've been thinking about your post, actually, and I wish I had some advice for you... It sounds like such a difficult situation. Have you talked to his teacher about this? I'm not sure that would help, but maybe she could help head off any potential problems? I can't remember if your son is in a social skills class or not... but is there any way to maybe do a social story or something about what friends do to support each other (and what they don't do) -- just to give him some alternative behaviors for when his "friend" gets in trouble? I'm not sure he'd be able to retain that information when he's in the heat of the moment, but maybe with repetition...?
I wish I had better advice for you! In the meantime, ((hugs)) -- hopefully it's a phase...
Jennifer
Laurie,
I don't know what to tell you either. DS,4, has been attached to a girl in his pre-k class and she complains about him annoying her but is hasn't gotten too extreme so far. He basically follows her around and mimicks her at times. He will break in line to be next to her and stuff like that. I can only hope it doesn't go any farther in the future. I would definitely try to meet with the teachers and principal and school psychologist or counselor or whoever is available for behavior issues and see if they can give you any direction. Surely they can at least provide names of anyone who might help. Good luck and let us know how it turns out.
Jackie