help in school
Find a Conversation
help in school
| Fri, 12-08-2006 - 10:00pm |
hi, i hope someone here can help me
i work in an elementary school as a lunch aide for a 1st grade
in this class i work with a little boy with asperger's
he reminds me of my nephew who is grown and doing quite well but i wasn't around my nephew much when he was this age
This little one is very smart but social skills are very hard for him
that isn't the problem he is improving since his has been working with his teacher
it is just that sometimes he has what we call a melt down
anything can trigger it.....at least it looks that way
i am wondering if i am not noticing something or doing something to trigger these meltdowns
He is very slowly adapting to the rules which we try to keep very consistent
and simple
that helps
but........sometimes i wonder if it is that he is tired.....
anyway if someone can just give me some clues on how to help him have a more enjoyable lunch time
i work in an elementary school as a lunch aide for a 1st grade
in this class i work with a little boy with asperger's
he reminds me of my nephew who is grown and doing quite well but i wasn't around my nephew much when he was this age
This little one is very smart but social skills are very hard for him
that isn't the problem he is improving since his has been working with his teacher
it is just that sometimes he has what we call a melt down
anything can trigger it.....at least it looks that way
i am wondering if i am not noticing something or doing something to trigger these meltdowns
He is very slowly adapting to the rules which we try to keep very consistent
and simple
that helps
but........sometimes i wonder if it is that he is tired.....
anyway if someone can just give me some clues on how to help him have a more enjoyable lunch time

Pages
Hi mrsbefore, welcome to the board.
I commend you on coming and seeing if you can find out what you can do to help this little dude.
Well, first off...Debbie gave some fabulous advice! I just wanted to let you know that it is great to have teachers and aides come on the board. As mom's we worry alot about our kids, especially when they are at school.
My son is in 2nd grade, and luckily our schools here have lunch in their classrooms, right at their own desks. He doesn't have to deal with lunch cafeterias. You had mentioned the possibility of this little boy being tired, and I really wanted to address that issue. My son is extremely exhausted from school. Just being around all of those people!!! Its just so draining on him. Trying to stay focused, and do his work, and basically just trying to hold it all together....really makes for a long day.
Lots of things can trigger meltdowns, as I'm sure you know. Usually when one thing happens, it tends to cause the domino effect. Then the rest of the day is all downhill! Patience, consistency, calmness, and using simple direction....really helps. Having breaks, is also awesome. Having time to relax and recollect themselves helps sooo much.
I'm sure this little boy's mom would be very grateful that you have taken these extra efforts to find ways to help her son. I know I would.
michelle
thanks for the reply
his teacher and i work very hard to prevent meltdowns so we feel like failures when one happens
his mom does appreciate our help
he has adapted pretty well to the cafeteria as long as the routine doesn't change but he is doing better with change
he does well on the playground because he loves to climb on the equipment except some days he feels he doesn't have "enough" time to play....in fact he will say "i need more time to play" which i think he means more time to move and get some energy off.....
he lines up pretty well with the other students but i do have to keep an eye on him because he can suddenly get distracted by certain things and i will have to take his hand to get him focused on what he is needed to do
what seems to be hard for him is when we have to stay indoors when it is too cold to go out
I am using stickers as a reinforcement for certain behavior which again doesn't always work but i have seen progress there
it is just that yesterday he was great in the cafeteria, lining up with his class and getting ready to play "heads up 7 up" (he loves games with numbers in them) when suddenly during the game everything went wrong because he didn't get picked right away...usually that doesn't bother him....he started yelling and i guess you call it a tantrum but i think it was more frustration because he couldn't tell me what he wanted or needed at first. He usually can tell me what is bothering him so this had me puzzled. Luckily another aid was able to come to my room and watch the other students while I sat with him while he got through his meltdown....it made me so sad....his teacher and I talked about it and she said that on Monday she and I will try to come up with something for these meltdowns
what do you think?
PS
i personally have two sons with ADHD so i have "been there, done that" with schools not knowing what to do with special needs kids
thanks for the article and the reminder about sights, sounds etc
I am going rethink of what happened prior to the meltdown
I will say he is actually adapting better than we expected so when these meltdowns occur it makes me so sad and a failure
i also posted a message to another mom that explains more of what happend
i forget who it was to
if you find it read it and let me know what you think too
the article is helpful
Sounds like you're really intouch with this little boy. I agree that when he tells you he needs more time to play...he is actually needing more time to burn off some of his energy. Losing at games and not being picked right away can cause a tantrum. But if he usually is ok with this, then there could have been something that triggered it. The one thing about our kids, is that they can be unpredictable when it comes to the meltdowns! So, it is hard to say for sure!
Does he get breaks throughout the day? Like quiet time away from all the kids and the noise? It sounds like he might benefit from something like this. For instance, leaving the classroom to take a walk, maybe around the school..to the drinking fountain....something like that? I know that when my son gets frustrated, its really hard for him to tell me what he wants till he's calmed down. He also has problems staying focused too. I constantly stick to the routine, make sure everyone is on the same page, and little by little I have seen some improvement. It does take awhile, improvement doesn't happened fast....from my experience it takes alot of time.
michelle
One more thing I forgot to add......
Being in first grade can be difficult too. Usually, in kindy, there is not as much work, and its usually a half day, not a full day. Was this the case with him? Was he in a kindy that was only a half day? Some schools do a full day of kindy, but not all. My son did ok with 1st grade, but I know another mom at our school, who's son is in 1st this year. He is HFA and really having issues this year. He seems to do fine academically, but the social stuff, transitions, etc...are hard. They started having him take breaks, one in the morning and one in the afternoon. It has helped only a little....but it is progress.
michelle
I do have him use the restroom during the transition time between lunch and recess
that usually helps
I do remember now that he had a candy bar for lunch which he never has before
could that be a problem
I usually don't look at food but his mom usually doesn't pack him one
I'm trying to think if anything else happened that day, i will talk to his teacher to see if maybe it was an extra long day
There are computers in the room so when we are inside on cold days i let him use those when he can't focus on the inside games but this last time even that didn't help
okay, thanks, tomorrow is another day and we will go one step at a time
I wasn't his aide then
So when his teacher this year found out he was assigned to her room she and i tried to come up with a plan right away to make the day as easy as possible for him, us and the other students....you guys would be impressed with this teacher....she isn't perfect but she really tries and when she messes up she admits it and tries again....
anyway
I am going to see if maybe my student does need more breaks or something.....that could be a big help for him
he does love stickers (like all 1st graders!) so i am continuing rewarding him as well as the rest of the class....you should also meet his classmates....they have adopted him and are trying to reasure him when he is struggling....i think both they and he are learning a lot from each other....i know i am
I just wanna give you a {{{hug}}} Mrsbefore... cuz I wish you were at my kids school!
You have a kind, loving and caring heart that matters in this childs life. You can be the part of the puzzle that makes him succeed, have self esteem, and be happy!
Thank you... I don't know you, but thank you!
Lainie
hug back! and thank you, i hope I am making a difference in some small way
years ago i learned that life is like your hand
if one digit has a problem so does the whole hand and the whole hand has to work together to adapt and be successful
but it is never easy
here is a little more about me
I am married with 4 children ages 27, 25, 20 and 12
my oldest and youngest have ADHD
I made huge mistakes with my oldest but we never gave up on him even though at times i wanted to and he is now successful
my next child is my only daughter and she was the honor student (talk about night and day)
and she had it so much easier but she learned kindness and compassion while we learned what ADHD was and what to do with it
the next child is an average student in college and doing the best he can....we thought he would have it easy too but he is now struggling in college....he knows we love him and will be there no matter what
my youngest has it so much easier than my oldest since we made all the mistakes on the first....we know the system, the disorder, the meds etc. and we know how to become "friends" with the teachers.....even when we don't like them....we have taught our son skills to adapt to each teacher and the world....it hasn't been easy but simply paying attention to his ,what I call, "signals of distress" have helped a great deal
plus we have taught him and the others that a disorder can be treated if not cured
but it is for life so we might as well enjoy life too
It has been hard because life always adds other problems...health issues, deaths, finacial problems, etc.....but we have a network of friends and family who each have been supportive when nessasary in their own ways
that is why i am giving back always...i was given much even when i didn't know i was given help. some one was always there for me
okay that is enough about me
thanks for being there for all who need you especially since you are having your own struggle in life
we gain strength from each other
hope you and yours have a happy day
oh i found laughter helps...it helps me a lot!
mrs before
Pages