He's getting out of control
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| Wed, 06-06-2007 - 9:39pm |
As you may remember, I've been worried about Tom's mental health because he's been having troubles at school, trouble falling asleep (more I'm scared and really restless stuff than the typical not sleeping we had before), kind of listless etc etc. plus he's been getting more and more agressive at school and now with us too. His teacher and I have been monitoring and we both feel that the onset of the new issues is a big concern.
So since Monday, he has hit me and his sister and kids at school. He head-butted me in the nose and thank God it isn't broken but I still have a black eye and it hurts like you know what. He has pushed and kicked. And just tonight he pushed his father out of the shower. Please don't get all up in arms about the fact that he sometimes showers with his dad, it is just what is working for us right now. But he pushed him and DH slipped and fell out of the tub, hit his head on a chair, hurt his back and neck and I was so scared. We were lucky this time but what about the next incident?
What heck is going on? We saw our family doc today to rule out any physical medical problem which she did, and she referred us to a pyschiatrist to help us get everything sorted out. I'm happy with the referral and will call tomorrow to make an appointment but in the meantime...
I'm scared. I'm worried for my DD and for the kids at school and the teachers too. I'm worried for Tom. He's my sweet little boy and I love him so much and he is just being a monster. I'm worried that we'll have to start the medication roller coaster. I'm worried that medication won't help. I'm worried that I just can't handle him anymore. I've always felt I could handle the issues that come up with Tom and his ASD but what if I can't handle this?
Heather

Heather,
I have forgotten how old Tom is now?
I think it is important to know what you may be dealing with here. It could just be part of his ASD or it could be a co-modbid mood disorder (whic is common here on the board). How you would deal with either scenario is different, so it is important to know for sure. Only a professional can sort this out for you.
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Heather,
You can handle this. One day at a time. I hope the doc can help you get this under control quickly and then you can work on long term solutions.
How old is Tom again? There are certain times in a AS kids life when behaviors can escalate. For some reason that time just before puberty and puberty seem to be big. Like end of 2nd grade up to middle school seems to be a big one.
How is school going for him? Often some stressor will set off this kind of behavior like a stressful school environment or the end of the year and impending changes. End of the year can be a biggie.
This too shall pass ya know. I have probably told the Mike stories to you before but honestly it got horrible and it is really so much better now than it was 3 years ago. I thought for sure for a bit we would have to hospitalize him or put him residential at the rate he was going and now he does great.
You can do it.
Renee
((((Heather)))
I just wanted to tell you that I know how you feel. Sam (almost 8) was pretty aggressive at home and with other kids from the age of 18 months to just last year. Most of it was impulsive and only some mood or anger related, but gawd it was a horrible, horrible thing to have to go through.
I could deal with him hurting me, but when he hurt other kids then I swear a part of me died each time. Mostly because I knew if someone ever hurt him, I'd be pissed and scared for my kid. And the thought that my own son could hurt some poor kid and cause someone to feel so badly just about kills me.
He's gotten much better this year with the impulsive acting out because we started meds. It works for him so far. I'm keeping an eye on the mood part of it though. His therapist thinks it's part of the ASD, but I'm not so sure. This morning was particularly difficult. He woke up like a typical day but he was exceptionally whacky and just melted down as we were headed out the door. He hasn't been like that for awhile. And he was fine when we got to school, just like I knew he would be.....sigh. I get to have all the "fun."
I hope that your Dr. can point you in the right direction. I'm not looking forward to puberty and all that that will bring. Sam's so strong and big now, I can't imagine how I'd deal with him when he's bigger.
I'll be thinking about you guys.....
Chrystee
Hugs to you and your family. It is tough being on an emotional rollercoaster. Nick can be that way with his outbursts too, he has a tendency to have those violent tantrums too and we never know when they are going to happen. He is on clonidine to help him keep an even keel and it seems to be helping although he has breakthrough outbursts and it is scary to see your 5 year old so out of control like that. Like someone else mentioned you may want to look at another comorbid condition. Nick has anxiety and I think there is underlying OCD too and I think sometimes these just get the best of him and just overwhelms him. He gets very frustrated and after coasting along what I think he is just doing fine, things are just festering inside of him, he is just frustrated over something and what I think is minor just sets him off and we have a period of awfulness. Of course he can't tell me what is bothering him just yet, I have to really watch him and hopefully pick up on it which I am getting better at, but not completely yet. We went from having 3 or 4 violent outbursts a week to down to maybe 1 a week now on the clonidine which has made us alot more stress free and I think Nick happier. He isnt on any other meds either, even for his ADHD right now. Once school starts, that may change, but for now, we are doing OK. I have read about some of the other meds out there for mood problems, but as long as the clonidine helps him, we will stick to that, start mild and work up is my motto! My thoughts are with you though, this too shall pass my dear.
Christine
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Christine
Heather, times like this we worry about a lot. Recently I started Sravan on Houstan Enzymes. The first 3 weeks was pretty rough, I was worried. But I think now it is tapering down (my fingers are crossed). So are you trying any biomedical interventions?
take care,
Anandhi