Hi there...sorry for the novel inside!
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|Sun, 09-14-2003 - 8:09pm|
Until a week ago, I barely knew what PDD-NOS was. I was happily living my life as a librarian, wife and mother to a beautiful 2 1/2-year-old boy, Ben. My in-laws came over for a visit...said there was something they wanted to talk to us about. They don't come over very often so we were dying to know what they had to say. When they arrived DH and his dad headed out to the patio to talk. They were out there about an hour and then they came in. We all made some small talk and my in-laws left. Once DH & I were alone (my niece was here for the weekend so he waited for her to go watch t.v.) he told me what they talked about: my in-laws have suspected for the last year and a half that something isn't quite 'right' with Ben, and they think the problem is PDD. My first thought was that they were insane. I was angry with them for thinking that my child didn't measure up. Sure he has hit most of his milestones a little later than other kids his age, but he hit them all eventually. Does he rush right over to give them hugs and kisses when they arrive? No, but they hardly ever see him.
I immediately headed to the internet and started reading...some symptoms sounded familiar (repetitive speech, lack of interest interest in playing 'with' other children, but will play next to them, difficulty making eye contact, dislike for new, stiff clothes, reluctance with physical affection) but other things just didn't sound like my kid. And the things that did sound familiar don't happen consistently: Ben will look people in the eye, but he doesn't always want to; he will play with other kids, and gets excited when he has a friend coming over, but doesn't always play 'with' them; he repeats the lines from 'Toy Story' over and over (and OVER!) but then he'll say something completely original and contextual and relevant. I know now that autism is a spectrum and I realize that some of DS's behaviours could place him on that spectrum somewhere. Like many of you, I'm sure, I wish there were a simple blood test that can tell me 'yes, he has it' or 'no, he doesn't'. I also feel incredibly guilty that someone else saw this and I didn't. To me he seemed (still does, in fact) like a perfectly normal, happy little boy. Can there possibly be something wrong that I just can't see? I'm trying not to be in denial, but I'm also trying not to label him too quickly and diagnose him based on what I've read....I'm probably of at least average intelligence, but I'm certainly no psychiatrist.
So tomorrow we start the process of getting him evaluated. He has an appointment with his general practitioner, and we're looking to have him referred to a pediatrician we've heard has a lot of experience with this (that's the way it works in my province - there are so few peds to go around that you need a referral). At this point there are moments were I feel like when the doc asks me tomorrow why I'm there I'll say 'I don't know'. But I know I owe it to Ben to explore the possibility that there's something there, especially if it's something that has troubled his grandparents for well over a year.
Thanks so much for listening. Any insight that you wise ladies can offer would be appreciated.