homework
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| Wed, 08-30-2006 - 8:02am |
This post is about 8yr old, third grade, dd (not AS but pretty darn close). Third grade is notorious for homework for some reason. Dd has to read independently for 20mins a night, practic rocket math, practice 14 spelling words, and finish what ever she hasn't gotten done at school which as typically been 2-3 math worksheets.
Hannah has always been horrible about doing homework. Thankfully up till now she hardly ever had any unless she missed school. Well school just started and she already has had 2 whopper of tantrums and flat out refused to do her work. She even scribbled all over one of her worksheets with crayons. We offer to help her but she wants us to flat out just do it for her which we won't. We honestly don't think the work is too hard but I emailed her teacher about it just in case. She looses her favorite stuffed animal for not doing her homework, a deal we made before school started. And dh took away her TV privelages for a day because of the big tantrum she threw last night. I won't be surprised if she refuses to go to school today because of this.
Any one got any pointers? Dh thought maybe if we change the time we have her do her homework. Last yr we were trying 4pm after snack and 1/2 hour break (usually watching TV). This yr we were trying after supper at my sister's suggestion. That time works well for her kids. I doubt the time will matter but I'm up for trying anything at this point. I wanted her to try the homework room at her school. Its only every other day but I thought that's everyother day I don't have to fight with her. But then ds told her it was basically detention so I think that idea might be shot now.
HELP! Thanks :)
Samantha

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Dear Samantha,
That is alot of work, isn't it? We never had trouble with getting Malcolm to do it, but one thing we did do was to break it up with rewards in between. Sitting and focusing on all of it at once is just too much for Malcolm.
We did the fastest easiest worksheet (1 pg only) on arriving home, snack and game, a harder chunk, usually saved the reading for after dinner and before any evening fun. We limit TV and other screens, so it can stay a reward. Also, we get him up early to finish anything he has not managed the night before. I realize this is not a great option for all children, but Malcolm does better with homework after he has had a good night sleep. he often wrote compositions over breakfast. Also, Malcolm often had afterschool programs and classes in afternoon, so we had to be careful about the pacing of doing his homework, because we didn't want him to be overwhelmed after school, as school is hard enough.
But now, we have no school and no homework. Or, all homework, depending on your point of view here!
Sara
ilovemalcolm
I emailed dd's teacher and let her know the situation. She emailed back already and offered to cut dd's assignments in half. She said she can tell if they know how to do the work after a few problems. We are definately taking her up on that offer. Hopefully then she'll finish the work at school. Man, its really nice to have a good, understanding teacher!
Samantha
As a former teacher (5 years teaching 6th & 7th grade), my attitude about homework has done a huge 180.
I agree with all but #1. If you have a child with special needs who has a hard time completing the classwork in school, sending it home can be a BIG catastrophe. Often it will be more than the regular homework assignment and if they are already stressed by that work you can nearly guarentee a tantrum at home. The first thing Mike's SDC teacher nixed this year was the mainstream teacher sending home work he didn't complete. Same thing, if he can show he can do the work in a few problems there is no reason for him to do tons. Unfortunately, though smart, Mike works very slowly.
I think homework is to independently practice skills learned in class and learn responsibility.
Samantha, I am glad the teacher cut the work assignments. First thing I was going to say was modified homework. If she can show in 3 problems that she can do the work then there is no need to do 10 or 20. With spelling, if a child does well on spelling tests there is no reason for nightly spelling homework. Personally, if it is an issue with the particular child I have done a pretest and then we do the homework on any words they miss. However, I will admit now that spelling homework is usually the easiest for the kids so they have no problem doing that part.
Last thing, our schedule for the kids is much like yours last year sans the TV. They have a break and snack for 1/2 hour but no TV until homework is done. If it is a big issue you can use TV as a motivator to get it done. Otherwise, unless there is a schedule problem, they get homework just before bed for about an hour and that is it.
Emily's teacher this year is her first year in 3rd grade. She was always 1 andn 2 before. Well her last teachers were big on homework (fair amount and easily doable but every night). This year she has less than in the past and it is way easy so far. I hope that it actually picks up some or Emily will get lazy. Emily is a great homework kid but she is at a critical stage where she is starting to try to get out of it, etc, so I don't want her to get out of the habit.
Renee
I also was going to suggest cutting back on the homework. I think it's great the teacher agreed to that. That is a ridiculous amount of homework for a 3rd grader, IMO.
I have the same problem with Ian, although he's had homework since kindergarden. I think it's good because it begins study habits and getting used to working independently from the class. I go to lunch once a week with Ian at his school. I usually just get an update from his teacher on how he's doing at school and give her an update on home. This year I told his teacher that homework would definitely be an issue and she said he only had to do half of it. He has a sort of jig-jaw corner in his room that is perfect for a built in desk, so my husband made him one. We used to do homework on the kitchen table, but it was too distracting. Now that we have his desk in his room, I usually go up there with him, at the time of his choosing. It is not the same time of day every day. We usually do something like color or he shows me something in his room and talks about it, then we get into the homework. Also, if things are really difficult, I plan something fun to do "after you get your homework done". This year, homework is not that much, so it works pretty well (knock on wood). If we had a ton of it, I'm not sure how well it would work.
Kelly
Actually I meant all 3 for an for an NT kid.
My AS 3rd grader hasn't gotten homework YET, but it's only the third day of school. It's coming, and I am NOT looking forward to it.
He's had daily homework since first grade, and it has been horrific. Each year he's eventually excused from homework, because it's such an ordeal. The worst part, I think, is that his little brother (Nathan, now in Kindergarten) has been taking it all in. He has learned that homework is a painful, horrible experience that you violently and loudly RESIST. He has learned that you crumple up your paper and throw it across the table, before even attempting to do the work at all. ALSO, when Nathan hears David start to get into a tizzy about something, Nathan will sometimes provoke him. I think the idea is, "If you annoy ME, with all that racket, then I am going to annoy YOU right back."
My neighbor was just talking about how her two girls (who are as NT as you can possibly get) just sit down together at the table and do their homework nicely the minute they get home. Their biggest "problem" is that their three year old brother wants to "help", but they easily tune him out, and their mom distracts him, of course, because the girls don't need someone constantly standing there saying, "Okay, time for the next math problem. Pick your pencil up off the floor. Your head needs to be up here, so you can see the page." In all fairness, the girls are 4th and 6th grades...but I know they've always been like that.
I wish I had an answer for you.
Best wishes,
Evelyn
Samantha,
Do you think she has executive function problems?
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Evelyn,
"My neighbor was just talking about how her two girls (who are as NT as you can possibly get) just sit down together at the table and do their homework nicely the minute they get home."
That's how my neice is who's the same age as my dd. My sister doesn't even have to ask her to start. She does it all on her own. Its not fair!
I think dd also learned a lot about homework from her older brother. Thankfully this yr he doesn't have any except to read for 15mins. They let him pick his own book to read so he's very happy to sit down and read his d-day book.
Samantha
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