Homework task to organise a party ARGH!
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|Thu, 03-04-2010 - 5:54am|
I have to post this here because you are the only people who will get why I went AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH when I read Euan's (11, Aspie) homework assignment for this week. I can't fault the school, they are doing astronomy as a topic in part because this is one of Euan's obsessions, and up until now he has been in his *element*, racing to get to school, even condescending to work in groups (!!!!) on projects, eating up his dinner so he can get extra 'homework time' (!!!). They have a grid of tasks to complete by the end of March, and they have to do 4 tasks and chose any others.
But one of the four compulsory tasks is 'organise a star gazing party'. oh my fricking gaaaaaaaaaawd! Of course all the other kids are excited about this, inviting friends for sleepovers, borrowing binoculars and telescopes, printing out invitations....
My poor poor Aspie is tying himself in absolute knots, and *my* anxiety levels are already through the roof. Although Euan gets on well socially at school he still doesn't *do* 'normal' socialising - he never goes to play at other kids houses, never has friends over, never does anything 'social' that isn't within a highly structured environment (eg scouts, or chess club, or a supported activity through his disabled children's club). He just can't cope with it, he finds it highly stressful and goes into meltdown, even though *actually* his social skills (from what I and his teachers observe, anyway) are very good (he can play, take turns, keeps eye contact, doesn't dominate the conversation, he's witty and funny and can cope with a certain amount of teasing)
Anyway, this is a long-winded way of saying that he can't just 'host a party'. His last birthday party we arranged a trip to a butterfly centre, he invited 10 kids and only 1 came (this is a lovely girl who also accompanies him on some of his disabled kids clubs outings - her mother works as an aide at the school, she is one of the few people who ever comes to the house and for whom we have a phone number!) I have said he can 'host a party' for his family (eg he could make us a stargazing quiz or contact sheet, we could make star cookies, we could try and find a clear night and head away from the city to find a dark place to observe stars, we could help his little brother and sister make star puppets, etc) but obviously, this isn't the kind of 'party' the other kids are doing so it isn't 'right'. I have also suggested that he invite his one friend over and we could take them stargazing - but this isn't a 'party' (apparently). Oh oh oh oh!!!
I'm not 'allowed' to ask his teacher for guidance, according to him. She was very clear that the kids have to organise this themselves - and I can well believe that the 29 NT kids in that class are having a fantastic time and learning a lot. At the moment I am just redirecting him toward the other tasks that he is completing with enthusiasm and trying to think what on earth we can do about this....
help! I'd know in a heartbeat what to do if this was one of the NT kid's assignments - hell, we could just have neighbourhood kids over with star cookies and a telescope and a quiz and be done with it - but this has turned into a HUGE NIGHTMARE. Why the bloody hell can't they just look stuff up in books and write essays like we had to in my day??
Kirsty, mum to Euan (11, Aspergers) Rohan (7, NT) and Maeve (4, NT)