The Horror of Haircuts!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2001
The Horror of Haircuts!!
12
Sat, 11-19-2005 - 5:22pm
Ok, so the last time we took bobby for a haircut which was in August he got so upset he threw up.

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
Sat, 11-19-2005 - 5:26pm
Ugh, what a nightmare. My daughter was about three before she would sit still. Maybe try giving him a toy to play with, or his favorite snack?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Sat, 11-19-2005 - 6:29pm

The haircut thing is almost all sensory, and boy, do I have proof that this is so. We had the biggest trouble with washing and cutting hair when little. With years of OT and very high sensory diet starting at age 3, heavy work, swimming, etc, the hairwashing and cutting became a non-issue! Then this summer, we tried an NT Day Camp and while my 8 year old did great for over 4 weeks, between the daily stress and then some bullying and misunderstandings the last 2 weeks, he ended so sensory stressed out that we saw some big old regressions, such as complete sobbing shrieking refusal/inability to have hair cut!!! Nightmares, stimming, the works. We had some real nappy hair problems going on, his hair was gettin' real long and shaggy. Fortunately, it curls up pretty (hides Mom's cutting style or lack thereof), but when matted dreads start shooting out from under his NY Yankees cap like Bozo the Clown, well...

3 months and super high sensory diet later, and the hair looks fabulous again. In fact, he is asking for cutting when he feels his hair is not looking quite right, starting to get a little more appearance conscious, can you say "girls"? Other similarities : dentist visit from hell in August and a rather shocked dentist, today the followup was a big old piece of cake like it usually is.

I know this does not have good suggestions, but when he was little, we had to hold him down... And reward him when it was all over.

yours,

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Sat, 11-19-2005 - 6:43pm

I actually just had the boys in on Friday getting their haircuts. Nathan did horribly when he was younger. He still doesn't like it, but will sit in the chair. Most of the time squirming, laughing, crying, etc. I still have to hold him down on bad days too. I eventually started having him sit on my lap, that calmed him down a bit, and it was easier to hold him down that way too!! We have "graduated" to him sitting on his own now!! yeah! It has gotten better, especially since he's talking now. Speech therapy and the fact that I am constantly explaining everything to him...helps alot.

Infact, Thursday morning, when I saw him looking in the bathroom mirror....he touched the top of his head and said, "I need my haircut."

michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-19-2005 - 7:07pm

i have tried every thing in the book-daddy's barber with daddy, mcdonald's during, toys, heck i might dance naked if it had worked. oh, and don't forget the kid's hair place with the merry go round horse you sit on.

i think we just gave up. we still go through the whole this is this before hand. but dh bear hugs them and i buzz with clippers. they hate it. but i just do it as fast as i can, which is really hard if we wait too long in between cuts, which we always do. as soon as we're done, they calm and seem to forgive. i hate to do it that way, but it needs to be done and sometimes there is no reasoning.

just my 2 cents, valerie

~Valerie
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2001
Sat, 11-19-2005 - 7:53pm
I don't even want to contemplate the dentist!!

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-19-2005 - 8:33pm

ok, well, Mike still doesn't like haircuts. When he was younger it was the bearhug and clippers method. We tried everything too. I got good at cutting hair fast. Lately, when he is in the mood finally he will go with dad and get it done. He is 9 now so it has been awhile. He just started going to the hairdresser this year. He stopped needing to be bear hugged around 4-5 I think. At least every time, lol.

However, right now he is in an anti haircut mood again and thank GOD boys are growing thier hair long. I did get him to let me cut his sideburns but he squirmed and his hair got pulled a little. now not even I am allowed near his head, lol. In the grand scheme of things it isn't a huge deal. We just keep working on it and he does keep getting better except when stressed.

On the dentist. I tried once at 3 and the dentist then freaked him out. I didn't go again until he was nearly 6, I have a good one now. It isn't a specialized one, I just called around until I found one I was comfortable with. They let Mike watch the first time when his sibs went and didn't push until he was ready.

Don't take him to one where they won't let you in the back or they want to use a papoose. Those for me are clear warning signs. I like ones that offer to let the child watch for a while. Just do what they can and take thier time even if it means making more appointments. I have found really small practices with 1 nice dentist works best for us. Not the big places.

Renee

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Registered: 01-10-2005
Sat, 11-19-2005 - 8:44pm

I took DD to the dentist for the first time last month and she did really well. I owe it all to the hygeinsist who made sure to include her in every single step of the process. I thought she was going to have a complete meltdown, but wound up being amazed. The hygeinist allowed DD to hold that spit-sucker thing, sit up in the chair instead of

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Sun, 11-20-2005 - 7:25am

"The hygeinist allowed DD to ... sit up in the chair instead of laying down..."

Wow, that's huge. My DD (who used to be really freaked out by doctors, haircuts, everything) now does well pretty much everywhere, EXCEPT if she's asked to lie back. So, at the doctor, she opens her mouth and lets them look inside, lets them use the stethoscope, look in her ears, whatever they want... but the second they ask her to lie back on the examination table, FORGET IT. I just had to take her to the doctor on Friday, and the only way they could get her to even partially lie down was if I got up on the table with her and let her rest her upper body in my lap, so that she was partially upright. Once we did that, she was totally fine and went along with the rest of the exam. She has her 2nd dentist appointment in December, and I'm very nervous... Her 1st one went fine, but she wasn't quite so paranoid about lying down at that point, and now it's a real problem. I think I'll mention it to the dentist in advance, and see if they'll let her remain partially upright...

About haircuts: I think it's easier for girls than boys because you don't have to get quite so close to the scalp. We have yet to bring my DD in for a professional haircut, although I think actually she'd do fine at this point... But when she first started needing her hair trimmed at around 2 years old, we'd literally trim her hair while she was eating dinner -- sneak around and cut the back pieces while she was still eating! The bangs were (and are still) the most difficult part, because that's where you get close to the head. She's nearly 4 and has gotten *so* much more tolerant of us cutting her bangs, although you can tell it still makes her very uncomfortable. But we've always done it right at the table, given her plenty of warning, and let her have some kind of treat immediately following (once we swept the hair off the table, of course!) Oh -- she also does MUCH better if she's allowed to hold a mirror and see what's going on -- I think that gives her more of a sense of control...

Jennifer

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-20-2005 - 4:38pm

Well haircuts may not be an issue, but brushing the hair of a girl with a sensitive scalp can be an absolute BEAR! LOL. At least with the boys it is clippers every 6-8 weeks or so. With girls it is the brushing heck daily!

However, I have had both and after a while the girls tend to get used to it. We just kept it fairly short (shoulder length) and got over the need for "hair pretties". Wasn't happening.

Renee

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 11-20-2005 - 6:38pm

We had the exact same experience the first 4 years of hair-cutting with my son. We tried everything possible to convince him that it was a fun thing -- lots of bribes, candy, movies, little horsey chairs, etc. -- but nothing worked. We eventually learned that despite the screaming and flailing arms, the best thing was to hold him down, and shave it quick. We don't style or cut with scissors. We simply shave and we do it fast! However, this past year (Ryan is now 4-1/2), we're finally advancing. Ryan will hold still in the chair, and as long as the hairstylist is quick with the buzzers, he will tolerate it. There's no screaming anymore! A victory has been won for mom! So my message in a nutshell is that there is hope. Perhaps he'll eventually outgrow this phase. In the meantime, go with quick!

Kim

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