How do you

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
How do you
12
Thu, 07-21-2005 - 6:53pm

Hi Everyone,

I would love to hear how everyone else deals with the stress of raising a special needs child. Sometimes I get tired of "everything" being a "challenge".

What do you say to or do for yourself to keep form worrying, fretting, overanalyzing, being tired, frazzled and or envious? I want to be a positive, upbeat mom for both of my children, but some days I do not feel up to the task.

Today I put a piece of paper on my fridge that says:

Focus on this moment...this day.
My best is enough.
Patience and Love.
Focus on how far DS has come.
Put my energy towards the things that matter.

I am hoping it will help me. What helps you??
Chrissy




Edited 7/21/2005 9:52 pm ET ET by ttcabg

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
In reply to: ttcabg
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 11:55pm

Amanda,

What a good point. My son makes me smile every day. He also has a wonderful way of making me feel loved. Today for the first time ever, he initiated saying "I love you Mommy." He has always given me loads of hugs and kisses spontaneiously but never had the language to say that. What a moment. :)

One think I think is hard is that you expect to not be able to do as many family outings and stuff when you have a baby or young toddler. however, that usually changes as the child matures. In our case, the overactive, impulsive, can't be reasoned with stage has lasted and so therefore we can do less. But like someone else graciously pointed out. It is all about adjusting your expectations. On the other hand, you do have to keep them high in some areas too.

I am in a better place now....a more positive phase. Thanks.

Chrissy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: ttcabg
Sat, 07-23-2005 - 7:55am

BTDT = Been There, Done That (I could have said BTDTBTTS (Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt!).

You know, when I made the decision to to look at other kids comparatively, it was kind of a relief. Like I gave myself permission not to compare, and that actually took a lot of stress *away* from me? KWIM? (i.e. Know What I Mean?).

I found also, that it was beneficial to my son. Comparing him only to himself, I celebrated him more, and put less of the wrong kind of pressure on him. (My son has more issues than my daughter)

It is a mindset change, and can take time to accomplish, but if you can pull it off, it will help a lot.

Good luck!

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

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