How do you deal with transitions?
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How do you deal with transitions?
| Thu, 05-17-2007 - 4:33pm |
Hi ladies!
One of our biggest sticking points with Nick is transitions. He doesnt do well at all. For a kid with ADHD who can move from one thing to another like lightning, once he starts something, I cant get him to transition from things very easily, ie. play to bathtime, after tv to brush teeth, from outside - inside, etc. I give 15, 10, 5, 2 minute advance warnings, rewards, bribes, take away privledges (only as a last resort!), we have even had to physically carry him inside which resulted in a 45 minute violent meltdown, but it was after he eluded us for 35 minutes and the bathwater was cold, we were frustrated. What techniques to you use to help your kids transition from one thing to another? Thanks!
Christine
One of our biggest sticking points with Nick is transitions. He doesnt do well at all. For a kid with ADHD who can move from one thing to another like lightning, once he starts something, I cant get him to transition from things very easily, ie. play to bathtime, after tv to brush teeth, from outside - inside, etc. I give 15, 10, 5, 2 minute advance warnings, rewards, bribes, take away privledges (only as a last resort!), we have even had to physically carry him inside which resulted in a 45 minute violent meltdown, but it was after he eluded us for 35 minutes and the bathwater was cold, we were frustrated. What techniques to you use to help your kids transition from one thing to another? Thanks!
Christine


Christine,
We keep to a strict routine and that helps -except when the unexpected happens, naturally..
A visual schedule can help with transitions.
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We try to go over the evening schedule, especially on bath night. I am actually starting to dread bath night! As soon as I say bath, I get a huge AWWWWWWW. For some reason, he hates getting into the bathtub. He tells me he would rather stay dirty. Last night it took me 30 minutes to get him into the tub. He argued, got snotty, was distracted, gave me every excuse, he even told me the reason he didnt like taking baths was because I didnt get in with him. He told me he would take a bath on Saturday - Yuck! He is just so darn stubborn sometimes. He has 3 different watches, but doesnt like to wear them, they feel wierd on his wrist. Maybe I can clip them to his beltloop on his pants. He is starting to learn to tell time already so maybe that would help. I will try that one to see if it helps. Thanks!
Christine
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Christine
Hi Christine,
Curiousity -- the transitions you describe all sound like from fun things to slightly less fun things, yes? It is normal for kids to have trouble going from fun to less fun, just more so for our kids! Here we have less trouble than you describe, although an interesting difficulty is that our ds (9, PDD-NOS) will have trouble leaving a therapy session if he does not feel "finished" with his time or was very involved with something and wants to continue. The therapists all know to give warnings, etc., but still it can be hard. And when he was in school, sometimes he had trouble putting schoolwork down that he wasn't quite through with...
We use a rewards/threats system in a light but constant way here, offering a small treat of some sort for making a transition we know he won't want to make, threatening to lessen future treats/privileges when he is resisting, etc. Right now he and a buddy are playing games in living room, I will need to give a 10 minute warning before time to leave for Tae Kwondo, then offer something such as picking out a special movie they will both really want to do after their successful participation in class (including the transition to and fro). All normal negotiations in our day here.
Another way to lighten transitions such as bedtime, etc, if our ds is not feeling it is to offer choices, such as order of getting ready --- bath, teeth, story, massage with skin creme --- snack, teeth, bath, read in bed. And with bath --- bubbles, not bubbles, snorkel, color the water, etc. Choices rock. In other words, these things DO have to happen but you can choose how.
HTH
Sara
ilovemalcolm
At school they use a picture schedule and it works great for there. I could never be disciplined enought to use it the right way here at home. I do alot of verbal reminding about the day. I start long before dinner to talk about bedtime and if there will be a bath involved or a movie or stories. And Tom knows that the longer he puts off going upstairs the less fun stuff that can happen. If he uses up all of his time before lights out screwing around then no movie or no story. If he gets ready quickly then we can read 4 stories or 3 stories or watch a video or talk about trains or whatever. I use this verbal storyboarding with everything. We will get in the car, we will drive to wal-mart, we can look at the fish and the Thomas stuff and then we will finish our shopping, then we will get in the van and go home. And I say the same think about 5 times on the way. And I just keep reminding him. It helps alot.
If he is being really resistant we count. I count to 10 at which point he gets a choice of doing what needs to be done or facing the consequences. That could be time-out, or carrying him upstairs or to the car or no sticker for that day or whatever. Today we were at a yard sale and he didn't want to leave so I counted and he reluctantly put down the stuff he was looking at and walked with me. They count at school too which helps to reinforce it at home. It doesn't always work but it does mostly work.
And if your son doesn't like to take a bath, would he shower? I thought my DS would hate it but he will shower with minimal fuss but a bath means a huge production.
Heather
Nick is funny, it seems all transitions "can" be wierd for him. He can get stuck sometimes. There are days that are just so hard for him sometimes. If I can get him into the bathtub, he will play until the water is ice cold. He loves being there! It is just getting him there. He loves baths. He also loves going out for Mexican food, so that is where we go for dinner when we do go out, we make it fun. He gets excited about it, we let him choose, and he might not even be doing anything much at that moment, it is just getting him into the car, he hesitates. At school, they have a regular routine they follow, same thing every day, that he has been doing for months now, yet he balks at certain times of day, although I can understand lunchtime to nap isnt fun. I guess he is just one of those kids that is hard to budge. I have been trying to work with him more though to loosen him up. Thanks!
Christine
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Christine
Transistions are our biggest problem. I give a basic schedule
A) leave home
B) travel by bus, car, etc,
C) arrive at destination to do Whatever activity
D) prepare to leave
E) travel home
F) usually a snack or meal
In between I give 10 and 5 minute warnings. Then I ask what activity should come next. I drop many hints. If all goes pretty well then I heap on the praise. If it goes poorly I ask son & myself what went wrong and how could we change it next time.
If son knows what is going to happen, he's good. If something changes such as the bus is late and someone offers us a ride, then son is not so good.
I try to keep him aware of the basic plan but also mention somethings that might happen.