how do you handle fears?
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how do you handle fears?
| Mon, 05-08-2006 - 10:35pm |
So today leaving daycare, Isaac and I see a dragonfly.
| Mon, 05-08-2006 - 10:35pm |
So today leaving daycare, Isaac and I see a dragonfly.
Somedays it seems like Jake is afraid of everything! Shadows are a big one right now and he makes me touch shadows on the wall everynight before I go to bed because I did that once to show him it was okay. It dosen't seem to matter how many times I tell him what a shadow is and that there is no need to be scared he still loses it. I know even "NT" kids have fears and I remember myself as a child having a horrible fear of spiders so I can totally relate to Isaac on that one and I'm afraid to tell you that fear remains to this day(LOL)
Teresa.
Hi Debbie:
Boy do I know where you are at. Not sure how old your son is, but I can tell you my 9 year old is still freaking out over the power going out. What his Consultant Teacher suggested is to make a "surival bag" with a flash light, a book to read, a snack just in case, and a favorite stuffed animal. Seems to do the trick.
What I would suggest as far as the bugs are concerned would be to sit with him and read about the bug and list what traits the bug has -- like what does it eat, where do they live, etc. Make it a project with your son and have him involved. I bet he will enjoy himself. When I involve my son in his fears he seems to do well with it. He had a terrible fear at one time of spiders -- that too has passed.
Good luck to you!
Amy
I think you handled it very well. I have a NT DD that has very odd fears and she will obsess over things like this for days. She's getting a little better but still has a very hard time with bugs and animals.
Betsy
Hi! I agree with the others - have him learn more about the dragonfly. Get a book from the library. Let him know that dragonflys do not sting - they will not bite spontaneously either (they will bite, defensively, if you grab one). I had a huge bug phobia as a child - but once I learned that fact, I became fascinated by them.
Good luck! My guy is afraid of bees - would not go on his playset most of last summer because of bees. We finally found the nest (in neighbors garage) - had it removed and we have been bee-free (for the most part) this year. We looked up bees on the internet. He is no longer afraid of the big queen bees (or the big wood-boring bees) but he still doesn't trust the little ones.
Christie
Debbie,
Nathan has alot of fears too. He doesn't like dogs or cats, and all bugs that fly! He's not crazy about birds either! Learning more about the dragonfly could help, as the others said. A book or a movie...something visual is nice. Nathan is getting better with his speech, so we "discuss" things with him.
Mostly, what I do is focus on increasing his knowledge about his fear. Saying, "the bird won't hurt you...he will fly away as you get closer...he's afraid of you too". Nathan will then repeat what I have told him, saying something like, "he's afraid..he's gonna fly away?" I'll say yes and nod my head....and he will continues saying this. At times this seems to help him process his fear, and calm him down.
I have noticed that he doesn't meltdown soo much now that he is getting older. Asking me questions, and repeating what he has learned to himself....seems to help him. I still try to avoid his fears when I can. But I also want him to learn how to face them, as well, and be able to manage and contain himself. It's a long process though.
Good luck...I hope we've all given you some ideas!
michelle
Hello! I'm a lurker here, but I wanted to share what seemed to work with my 5 year old DS who has HFA. He has an irrational fear of dogs. (I think because when he was just learning how to walk he got knocked down 2 or 3 times by my brother-in-law's HUGE Golden Retreiver). Anyway, we played a game with a small stuffed dog where I took the dog and had it "bark" and run toward my son. Then I showed my son what to do when the dog came close, by teaching him to say "Go away doggie!" or "Go home!" My son thought the game was hilarious and was squealing with laughter everytime the dog came near him. Although he is still afraid of dogs, he no longer stops frozen in his tracks when someone is walking past our house with a dog.
Good luck!
Stefanie
Debbie,
I've been thinking about this one, because I think it very much depends on the kid.
I like LRs empowerment ideas, BTW.
The other two options are to learn about the bugs, which is another empowerment tool, really, and many have suggested it, or to somehow instill them with personality.
We did the latter with my NT sister when she was about 3. She was terrified of flies. Even the tiniest little ones which didn't buzz could send her into hysterics. If a bluebottle got into the house: Forget it!
We caught a fly in a jar, sealed it tight, and invited her to inspect it. We named it "Freddie"(the fly), and gave it to her as her 'pet" (LOL we were cheap!). She could look at it and talk to it, secure in the knowledge that it couldn't 'get' her. She liked Freddie. We kept him for a couple of days.
So Freddie "went missing" one day. She found the jar open and he was gone. Thereafter, if a fly got in the house, we would say it was Freddie coming to visit. Sometimes he brought a friend. She wasn't always convinced, but no hysterics.
-Paula
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