how does your child accept their dx

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2006
how does your child accept their dx
14
Sat, 02-17-2007 - 8:06am

morning,
on the news lately there has been much talk about the increase in the numbers of children with autism and (in Boston) about children with bipolar. son & i watch the news and discuss these topics. he REFUSES to accept autism but is alright with the bipolar. i have a much harder time with bp. (i don't mention that to him.)he takes seroquel and sees the difference it makes in how people deal with him.

how do your children feel about their dx? do they see the connection between meds and their behavior?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
Sat, 02-17-2007 - 11:02am

Hi. My son and I have just started talking about his diagnosis. We originally used the actual name (Asperger's), but he found it such a humorous name to use, that we went to just speaking about autism...
He, personally, thinks it's wicked cool (how's that Boston phraseology doing)... I told him cool isn't really the best word, but we talked about how it affects his behavior, how it affects his learning, how it affects his friends. We talked about both good and bad parts (he gets consequences for his hitting, his friends tend to be wary of him, he sometimes loses a friend because of it...; he has a great imagination, he has lots of strong emotions and he expresses htem well (after oodles of therapy!), he is quite bright). We talk mostly about ways to learn from our mistakes or that of our friends, we've talked about getting involved in the autism community; we've talked about how to help other's understand his issues/struggles, and we've talked at great length about the fact that despite his challenges, or his outbursts, no matter what his dx, he is ultimately responsible for his actions/choices; and of ways to help him cope/adjust and learn to make better choices.

He has expressed some thoughts about his meds... what he likes/what he doesn't. He hasn't yet gotten to the understanding that there is a connection though. In my opinion, if he were to find out, he'd stop taking them JUST to have a reason to misbehave! LOL.

Good luck.

Nicole

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Sat, 02-17-2007 - 4:34pm

Nathan is only 8 and not really at a level of understanding yet. I think. Somedays, I think I may tell him soon, but then other days I feel that I will probably wait. He is very aware that he has speech and social skills classes that he attends. And does not seem at all bothered by it.

But as far as what his whole reaction will be to autism, I don't know. He has a pretty calm mentality, so I am assuming that it will go well......but with tons of questions!!

michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Sat, 02-17-2007 - 5:28pm

For my nine year old aspie boy, it's "no big deal"...he accepts it for what it is, and for the most part thinks that autism is why he's so smart. I guess he'd consider it "cool" also. LOL

My six year old autie girl isn't to a functional level where she understands...and at this point, I doubt she ever will be.

Amy

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

Avatar for littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 02-17-2007 - 7:10pm
My dd is 9, I did not tell her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 02-17-2007 - 9:36pm

My kids accept it fine. A lot like Amy's son. We were open and talked about it but they didn't really put it together until they were about 9. Mike more like 10-11 as in he is still working on it, lol.

Mike doesn't really draw a difference between diagnosis though. For instance, to him all people with special needs have autism. He was on a basketball team last year with a little girl with downs syndrome and he thought she had autism or a kind of autism. Same with special olympics this year. I would say he is just really getting that some are autistic and some are something else but not really, lol.

In general they just think it is something different about them. Makes some things tough but at the same time makes them "smart". They also think that it is cool to get access to special things. Mike loves to tell Dave he can't swim in special olympics because he doesn't have special needs.

Renee

PS. the only med is Cait's seizure med. She isn't a fan but understands why and is compliant to taking it. She tries to sneak every so often not to take it. I think she wants to not have seizures.

When we did do meds with Mike it was neither here nor there. He never questioned it. Sometimes in the last batch he hoped it would help so he may have said it did, but they didn't and it was obvious.




Edited 2/17/2007 9:39 pm ET by rbear4
Photobucket
Avatar for stephsmom98
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 1:41am

Stephanie is almost 9 and she isn't questionning it yet and accepts it fine. (for now anyway). DH wants to ask neurologist (whom we see in two weeks) about how to talk to h er about it when the time comes. She doesn't take anything for Asperger's, but is on medicine three times a day for epilepsy. She doesn't think twice about it; she was on it since age 5. We'll see how things go as she gets older.

Debbie

Debbie, Mom to my "only" Stephanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2007
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 5:29am
My ds is 8 and isn't taking any meds for AS. I'm not sure to what level he really understands. Twice in the last week we were discussing things that were difficult for him, like getting along with his teacher and he said "It's all because of this Asperger's." It made me really uncomfortable because I don't want him to start using it as an excuse, or as a reason to think badly about himself. I keep trying to remind him that alot of very successful people have probably had AS too, and it's not necessarily a negative thing. He is constantly measuring himself against other people. I think it is kind of like ritualistically sorting things by color or size as some As kids do, but he does it with people in his mind. He needs to have everyone in a category. It sounds from the other posts that he might develop a better understanding in the next year or two.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2004
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 6:16am

Dear all,

This is an interesting thread.

A year ago, my then four year old asked why he has to go to speech. My biggest goal for him in speech was (is) language flexibility, but I didn't really know what he felt he was doing there. So I asked him, and he remembered the tounge exercises and playing games like hungry hippos or Hi-ho cherry-o, either with the itinerent therapist or with a friend he was allowed to invite into the session for some work with peers. I told him he goes to speech to get his tongue and lips really stong so that he can drink from any crazy straw, and to learn how to take turns with his friends. That satisfied him, and he hasn't brought it up since. He hasn't asked why he sees his neuorlogist or why he is going to a neuropsychologist. I'll just answer questions as they come. But I am worried about the personal responsibility thing. He already has an answer for everything.

Sidney

APOV on Autism
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 10:20am

I think there is a difference in the questioning when a child starts out seeing specialists when they are very young. It becomes their normal and they just accept it as part of life. Since they are young and also AS they don't realize that this is not everyone's experience and thus don't question it.

It wasn't until recently that my ds questioned it at all and only then because we hadn't been to a specialist in 2 years. I tried taking him again to a psychiatrist I heard that used natural alternatives and that is when it came up since he hadn't gone. I just told him it was time to go and that was the end of it. ok not the best explanation but the best he would understand at the time.

Renee

Photobucket
Avatar for toryanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 02-18-2007 - 12:41pm

Since Victor was misdx'd for so long, he was really aware that he was different. When he was 6, he was dx'd ADHD and would constantly tell his teacher "It's the ADHD, I can't help it." We nipped that in the bud by putting him on medication. Then he'd tell his teachers "But mama forgot to give me my concentration medicine today" as an excuse. After this, the doctor's decided that he also had an anxiety disorder and wanted him on different meds. At one point, he was taking Lexipro for anxiety, Concerta for ADHD, Risperdol to help him sleep, and Zyrtec for allergies. Then the psychiatrist we were seeing was changing his meds every two weeks, even when I told them it was working and I gave up and went to see the neuropsychiatrist and we got the AS dx.

Since getting the AS dx, the dr. took him off of everything but the Lexipro for anxiety. He has a real issue with taking the Lexipro. He will fight me daily in taking the meds and he's at the point now that he won't even take tylenol for a headache til he's ready to cry he's in so much pain.

As far as his dx tho, he's very much accepted it as part of who he is. We explained that he doesn't have ADHD, but that he has "Asx-burgers" and it means that he naturally processes things different that others and we have to work on understanding things the way they are meant to be.

Alexis

Pages