how does your child accept their dx
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how does your child accept their dx
| Sat, 02-17-2007 - 8:06am |
morning,
on the news lately there has been much talk about the increase in the numbers of children with autism and (in Boston) about children with bipolar. son & i watch the news and discuss these topics. he REFUSES to accept autism but is alright with the bipolar. i have a much harder time with bp. (i don't mention that to him.)he takes seroquel and sees the difference it makes in how people deal with him.
how do your children feel about their dx? do they see the connection between meds and their behavior?

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To my kids autism is just a part of life. We've always been up front and open with them about it, and made ourselves available to answer any questions they have. I think it helps that their dad is also on the spectrum and is very open about it. They see him managing and succeeding in life, so it doesn't occur to them very often that thier autism might get in the way of them doing the things they want to do and have a happy life. They do get depressed or sad every once in while when they think thier ASD is making problems for them, esspecially Jade, who is lower functioning. But they also know, from thier dad's example, that there's always an answer out there, they just have to look for it.
In our case we never had the option of not telling them. Jade was born 8 weeks premature and suffered multiple problems from that. We didn't even know for sure if she was going to live until she was 18mo old. She was mis-dx'd with severe CP and we were told that she would be a vegetable for her entire life. But she began making progress and by the time she was 4yo we knew for sure there was something else going on. She was dx'd with Kanner's when she was 7yo, and I can't tell you what a relief that was. It was a relief because I knew enough about autism to know that a person, no matter what level of funtioning, could lead a happy life, even if it took help. What we were being told before was that she would never learn any independant living skills of any kind, which we knew by that time was wrong (because she was getting into the cereal cupboard to get her own cheerio's, lol). We knew enough about autism to know that a person with autism could learn to take care of themselves to at least the most basic levels and have some control over ther own lives. So, to us it was a relief because it meant that, with help, she would make progress, whereas before we were told not expect any such thing.
So, when Eva was dx'd with Asperger's a year later it was niether a surprise, nor any 'big deal'. She was different... so what? Eva knows that while she is going to have struggles in life that it could always be worse too. This was a conclusion she came to on her own when Jade suffered a severe mental breakdown in response to her youngest sister, Angel, being born with physical handicaps.
As for meds I think what Jade told one of Eva's friends the other week sums it up. When the kid asked her why she had to take pills she asked "Would you rather I twitch constantly and find a corner to cry in? Cause that's my option, it's what happens when I don't take my meds." The kid thought about it for a minute, then nodded, grinned, and said "Okay, just checkin" and zoomed away to play with Eva.
~Candes
Wow, this is a fascinating thread!!!
What an interesting topic! We've only talked to Carl a little about it. He doesn't really ponder the "why" of much of anything, and I don't think he would have ever asked me something like why he was different from the other kids. I have told him a few times when he's had a struggle-with schoolwork or friends, mostly-that his brain works a little differently from other kids' and he's going to have to do things a bit differently. For instance, when he's old enough, he needs to write *everything* down and never, ever rely on his auditory memory. Or that he needs to take my word for it that he often misundertands a social situation, and if I tell him he's annoying someone, he *is* and he needs to stop! I always emphasize that Mom's brain is the same way and I understand him, and he can always ask me for help.
The only reason I really even bother at this point is that I always knew there was something very different about my brain, but when I was a kid if you were different it was your own fault. I never want Carl to feel like that-not to give him an excuse, but to know why the strategies other people use are often not ones he should use.
Lynda, Carl (12/1/99) and Erica (6/18/03)
Lynda, Carl (12/1/99) and Erica (6/18/03)
I like this thread, what an awesome question!
My son was 5 when he was dx.
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