How to get appropriate help???

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
How to get appropriate help???
2
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 2:28pm

It seems I only come here to vent. Sorry. I'm really here more often than that, even if just to read through everyone else's experiences to let me know I'm not alone. It really makes me feel better to see others going through similar experiences.

Anyway, I'm posting this on a few boards, hoping someone will have some answers for me and know how to direct me in our quest for help.

For years I've known two of my four kids were "off." They're basically "normal," but there are lots of little things that aren't always appropriate. (Poor coordination, poor social cues, anger management problems, etc., etc., etc.) Everyone's always dismissed my concerns, but when I finally wrote down a list of symptoms, pediatrician agreed that there are some concerning behaviors. I have been trying for weeks to find the appropriate avenue for finding out what's wrong with the kids, but with no success.

We recently began seeing a therapist, but I feel like it's a big waste of time. I don't think she's really addressing our concerns. (Initially she tried to blame it on my parenting.) She finally said that maybe we ought to do testing to get a better picture of what's going on with the kids (only she didn't tell me until after-the-fact that insurance wouldn't cover it, and it's costing $75/hour, and we had eight hours of testing in two days between the two kids). However, the testing she's doing is all for things that aren't problems. She's testing IQ, spacial-visual processing abilities, etc. She has barely touched the perimeter of any emotional problems.

Is this an appropriate dianostic approach? How many thousands of dollars do we have to spend before we begin to get a clue what the problem even is? What kind of specialist do we need to see to get a correct diagnosis and treatment? I have already spent HOURS on the phone between insurance and various therapists/clinics trying to track down appropriate treatment. I'm so frustrated! When you don't know WHAT the problem is, but you know that there IS a problem, how do you figure it out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 3:18pm

What state do you live in? Is the school district involved at all?

Valerie

~Valerie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 11:23pm

I tried to get the school involved a few years ago, but since my kids' problems don't impact their schooling enough, the school won't get involved (the teachers can see what I'm talking about, though, and we've been blessed to have a really good teacher for ds who's taken him under her wing and is trying to help him ). On another board, a couple of people recommended we see a developmental pediatrician. I'm going to look for one now. Thanks for your suggestion, though!