How many of you ? .....
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| Thu, 09-06-2007 - 3:17pm |
I am sure this has been asked a hundred times, but "How many of your children are not in regular public school ? " Like homeschooling, or a special private school etc...
I am really beginning to wonder if public school is good for my son. He has been in kinder for 4 weeks and it has been hard on all of us. I have been in his room many times already to volunteer ("0bserve") and feel like this is not the right environment for him. For one he is so advanced in the stuff they are learning. I tried to tell the teacher he may be bored, but she just scoffs at me. Second I feel like she keeps making him feel bad for his normal quirks.
Anyway before I ramble, I just wanted to know if anyone else was trying a different educational approach. Thanks I appreciate it.
BTW I mentioned this in my other post, but we are just starting the whole IEP process. We are only at the child study phase of it. Though I have had several conferences with the teacher, emails and even dropped off paperwork this weekend with articles going over aspie traits and why he does some of his behaviors. She keeps mentioning "odd" things he does, so I was trying to give her a better understanding on why. I know she has no experience with Aspergers ( or autism probably) becuase she said her self she had to do some reading one night, since she didn't know what it was.
Anyway thanks
Janine


Hi Janine and welcome to the board.
My son is my most impaired child. He has
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Thank you for your reply. I was wondering how do you get into these special schools that are paid for ? Is that part of the whole IEP process ?
I hear about all these benefits, but so far we have nothing since we started the year undiagnosed. So far we only have a diagnosis from his pedi, who does behavioral assessments. On the schools end we only have the child study team meeting, then I guess they are going to do their own testing and decided if he needs an IEP ? I Feel like by the time all this testing etc.. half the year will be gone and with each day he seems more and more upset when he comes home. We are already a month into school and ony had a couple of good days. The rest have been hard.
Thanks for all the help in advance :)
Hi CC,
I can tell you our experience when we lived in Northern MD. Liam began Kindy (half day) in reg public school with a dx of mood-disorder at the time. We knew an ASD dx would come but the school was VERY relectant to go that route. I can tell you Lima lost so much in kindy. He went in knowing his letters, numbers etc and came out having lost it all. Mainly as he spent the year getting into trouble for his "odd" behavior, quirks and some frustration outbursts.
We moved to GA in 1st grade and within weeks he was red flagged , assessed and dx by the school psychologist (phd). He is now in 2nd grade , self contained and FINALLy making up for the lost year in kindy. We still struggle on and off with behavior (this being one of those cycles btw), but having him in a self contained setting (K-3), with similar kids and a trained teacher who gets it really helps. Liam is high functioing but not high functioing enough to handle reg ed. Like Paula we have been blessed here in suburban Atlanta with a great education system and lots of supports. Now in Md, not so hot.
As for your question about private schooling. To get the district to pay for it is a ROYAL Pain in the butt. You have to prove they can not give your ds a free and approriate education. You may find that there is an autism unit in his current school or in another school in the district. Another option might be to include a request for a 1:1 aide for him, to help with with his transitions and the whole "good bad" choice thing (which btw is ridiculous). But if your ds is NOT receiving a free and appropriate educationa dn they can not provide the correct supports and tools for hims then the private option is viable.
The key with IEP's is to stay on the school's case. You have 60 days from the formal request for an IEP to have the IEP meeting with the IEP team. The dx you already have should be enough for them, but you never know. Ask for the Sun and you may get the moon, that's my advice. I always ask for above and beyond in the hope ds gets as much as he can.
(((Hugs))) keep it up, what a fabulous Mom you are for your ds!!!
Dee
My son is now 7. He has never been in public school. My DS is brilliant and many of his academic skills are way above his age mates. That was the main reason we homeschooled. Looking at it now there are tons of benefits for us. He has time and a stress free environment.
He has plenty of time to play and build and be. Plus there is time for therapies and lots of time for play dates which have boosted so many of his social skills. It took us a bit over a year to really get established in a homeschool group but he is making real friends and having real relationships. He does a lot of extra curricular activiitres which help to keep his sensory system in check. For my DS maintaining his sensory system really is key to keeping him over all focused and pulled together.
If he is wiggly we can take a break and do some large motor stuff. I can be creative in how to get concepts across- lots of physical activities we did in to learn the concepts. I can cater to his learning style. To keep it fresh we go to the library or do work on the deck or to the playground.
We do have a flow to our day and a schedule but it is one that works for him.. No hurry to get out the door in the AM and panicing about forgotten schoolwork etc. This year (he is doing a mix of 2nd-5th grade work) I am beginning to work on self organization skills and really expecting him to be a bit more self sufficient in his school work. He wasn't ready for this before but he is now.
I don't know when or if he will go to public school. The dx is coming next week and I may see what they could offer us. Truthfully what we are doing is working for us. He is learning academics, social skills, and has pretty good self esteem. He is learning to manage and regulate his emotions which is so crucial. For us homeschooling works. Heather
We're in a public school.
My ds is bright, funny and social, but very very sensory. We have never had him in a public school because here we have only 2 choices, inclusion room of 27 and he might also get an aide, too large a group for him ... and 12:1:1 self-contained room where the academics are WAY behind him and also social development tends to be as well (although not always).
We had ds in private special needs schools for 4 years, he moved 3 times to different placements. Each one was good for awhile and he got alot out of them, but by the time he was almost 9 the ones we had him at no longer worked for him.
Now we homeschool, although I wish I didn't also have to work. We are getting better at homeschooling him! For the same reasons Heather mentioned, homeschooling is actually a great choice for us.
Sara
My ASD children are in 6th and 8th grade. Up to this year they have been educated in the public school system other than 2 short periods where I pulled my dd to homeschool for a month because she was in a bad placement.
Your son is in the child study phase and beginning referral. There are still so many supports available to him it is impossible to know yet if the schools will be a appropriate education for him.
This year my son is in a non-public school paid for by the school district. Our issue is much the same as Sara's. The only choices are full inclusion in a middle school with 1500 students and 30+ in each class plus all the movement or a self contained class that is academically way below what he needs.
The private special ed school is not a perfect alternative for Mike either, but it is the best one. There are academic and social opportunities he will definitely miss out on. There are 8 students in middle school in his school so they are grouped together. Many are just at grade level and a couple are below grade level. There is a large focus on living skills like shopping, volunteer work etc, which I think are very important but he will not have all the same opportunities as Cait academically. Mike learns very well in a small environment however, so I am hoping he continues to excel. They do yoga and have a gym in the school to play in daily but there isn't even an outside playyard for them. No fresh air at all on a daily basis.
over all there are tons of positives for him but it is often a matter or weighing pros vs. cons.
Homeschooling vs. public schooling is often a personal decision for parents. There may be other factors at stake than a students special needs. If public school is what you had already started and chosen then give that a try. There are many supports and options to make it successful for him and give those a try before declaring it a failure and changing tactics.
Renee
My kids are public schooled. They have generally been fortunate to have teachers who liked them and accommodated their quirks, although ds 4th grade teacher this year is causing me a little upset. Unless my ds had significant problems with her, however, I would still keep my ds in public school.
I am not opposed theoretically to homeschooling, but my kids DO NOT like to do school work with me (they like doing non-mandatory learning things with me, but mandatory work stresses them out). Helping my kids with homework is stressful enough that I don't think doing schooling full time with them would be a healthy for our relationships (or my sanity) nor would they end up learning as much as they would in another setting.
Also, my kids need and value their social opportunities at school (as limited as they might be). Despite living next to the same boy for 5-6 years without wanting to have anything to do with each other (didn't dislike each other, just didn't find a need to interact), my ds and the neighbor boy have finally been becoming friends over the past couple of years due to their contact in school. Their friendship is restricted to chatting sometimes as they walk home from school and occasional get-togethers to play Pokemon, but this is HUGE for ds to finally have a kid in the neighborhood that he's friends with. My NT ds has always had tons of neighbor friends, and AS ds often felt left out since he couldn't keep up with the other kids.
If I could find no in-school solutions for my children, I would definitely pull them out and home school them (and if that were true, my kids might actually prefer to be homeschooled), but for now, public schooling is best for my kids.
Hi Janine:
You are a great mom. That's great you are able to volunteer and get in and observe and I hope everything works out for your son and family. I'm sorry the teacher doesn't understand. Hopefully she will read up on Asperger's and want to learn more about it. It is probably hard however when she has other students in the class. I heard IEP is a good thing. We homeschool and the best thing about it is that you can have the child learn at his or her own pace and the level he is at. If he is ahead of the other kids in kindergarten, he can advance. My daughter is advanced at some things and behind in others, but as long as she keeps improving, that is fine with me and the state. And she is.
It is hard when others just don't understand and keep pointing out the quirks of these kids. They are precious and sweet. All of us have quirks of some kind I believe.
I don't know about private school, but from talking to homeschool mom who used to send her son to private, he was advanced and they didn't do much about it. (He didn't have Asperger's) but they are all different (the schools I mean.)
I wish you the best in your decision. We have it pretty good. We aren't out all the time, but a good deal. We plan our own schedule. Some days it takes longer to complete schoolwork, some days, shorter. It is our own schedule. We are fortunate enough to belong to three homeschool groups where she gets interaction. They plan to go on trips, to plays, bowling is once a month etc. so it works out great. She also goes to AWANA at a nearby church and they have 45 minutes of game time in the gym and she learns to be a team player and the number one and two teams get points for prizes. We have secondary insurance to help with therapies. She is in occupational therapy and will soon be in speech therapy. I observe the things they do there and help Stephanie at home with those things. She does sit down work for a time and then we get her up to work on gross motor skills for sensory problems so her muscles are stimulated and thus, she can work better.
She is intelligent, but I don't believe she is advanced by any means. But also like Heather says, it works for us and she thrives on the one on one. I've seen her at church and homeschool groups and she gets easily distracted, but is getting better as she gets older.
Again, I wish you the best on your decision. I also want to say, I am in Pennsylvania. I am pretty sure we will continue to homeschool, but we take it one step at a time. I have heard from others in our area that she could get IEP and help through the school district, but if anytime we feel things aren't working well and they aren't working with us (being your child's advocate is a must!) the school district doesn't work with you well if you want to take the child out for homeschooling and they try to make things difficult. I don't need that yet. So we have to be careful, but we are looking into all things.
Good luck!
Debbie
My DS was dxed at age 4 and placed in an ESE Pre-K through the public schools. So, he started kindergarten in an ESE classroom. We reserched the ESE programs at the schools and we moved into the zone of the school we thought would best fit his needs. They were very experienced with ASD. I think it is really good that you are going through the process of testing. In pre-k we had failures and teachers who couldn't properly deal with Carlin which really effected him negatively. He is now in 1st grade. He spends the majority of his day in an ESE classroom but mainstreams for 1 hr a day in a regular ed class. His regular ed teacher has had an Aspie in her class for the last three years. The goal is to have him fully mainstreamed by the end of the year. We love both his teachers.
Many teachers don't understand that our children can't control certain things and they hold their oddities or misbehaviors against them. I would definitely start researching the schools ESE program and other options you might have. In Fl there is the McKay scholarship for special needs children to attend a private school. I couldn't find an option where I lived that I liked better than the ESE program through our school. There were definitely public schools in my county that there is no way I would send my DS to because of the their ESE programs. I find that the principal is so important in the environment of the ESE program. Our schools principal is extremely supportive of mainstreaming but it is done when the child is ready. There are some schools where we live where once a child is put in ESE they will stay there indefinitely and the regular ed teachers view the kids as defective. But my DS's school is a very positive environment where they try to provide the child with what they need to function in a regular ed environment.
My suggestion is to start doing your research. Research what is available at your school, what programs are like at other schools in your district as well as what is available to you interms of private schools.
Best of luck to your and your son,