How many of you work outside the home?
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How many of you work outside the home?
| Thu, 07-27-2006 - 3:20pm |
I am asking this because I do along with my dh. I want to try and start working on some things to help my ds at home, while we wait to begin therapy and for school to do an IEP. However, it just seems like by the time I get home, we have dinner, baths and all that- there just isn't much time left. How do you do it?

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Hi there,
I have been since October. I work about 10 hours a week. I do it while both boys are in preschool. I think it actually gives me a lot more sanity then not working. A distraction if you will. A reason to dress somewhat nicely and a purpose to put on some make up. To talk to other adults and to do something outside of just kid stuff. It took some time to get use to. Each situation would be so unique. I enjoy working even though I complain just as everyone does about being overworked when I'm there. Valerie
I worked when the kids were little but usually part time. When dd was first dx'ed I had to cut back on hours because I couldn't do it all and work too. HOwever, I had a different level of guilt. I was working with kids like Cait and it didn't seem right to me to be teaching other kids the skills I needed to teach her.
I have been home for the past 6 years when I was finally able to do it. It has definitely been a good thing. I have just started back parttime now but I still can't go full time because I can't quite manage it all and work. Plus Mike is a very sensitive fellow and can't be in afterschool care. he would fall apart so I only work when he is in school.
Parents that do it probabaly have to make sure that these skills are provided for by someone else. I think your part would be organizing and making sure you have good quality people teaching him those other skills. By the time you get home it should be more dinner, family and funtime with mom. Working on the relationship, that sort of thing.
Others will answer better!
REnee
I work freelance in both fitness and sometimes still in the theatre. My hours can be flexible and I am expensive. Often it still ends up being almost fulltime hours, but part of that is running around on subways. I do wish I could work less, but this kid is expensive! Still, as dh often works at home during week, we can basically hand ds back and forth, except for the one afternoon and evening when dh and I have a date together every week, then ds has a sitter. Also ds often is away on playdates now or doing afterschool activities with friends and the other parents or sitters take them.
I am often home for afterschool and evening and I very seldom work on weekends. When I work in the theatre, often ds can come with me. He used to help run the concession stand when I was artistic director of a theatre company here on NYC and was VERY good at getting people to buy candy and coffee, quite the snow job he used to do!
Recently I really wish I could take lots of time off. I'm just so tired of working and working and working some more. The good news is that all the hours of exercise I do in a day's work is very effective in holding back severe depression (also less expensive than anti-depressants, although sometimes I think I should take those as well) and keeps me energetic, sleeping well, fairly strong and a little too skinny. So that's OK...
yours,
Sara
ilovemalcolm
I was a stay at home mom till dd started school. Then I worked as an aide part time. The next yr I worked as a chiropractic assistant part time. The following yr just got too hard for ds. He was stressed out by my schedule. Every day after school was different for him. I was needing to take lots of days off to handle things with school. It just wasn't working well. I didn't have to work so even though I really loved it and it was good for me I quit. I'll have time for working when the kids are grown if I want.
Samantha
Jane
It is rough, hang in there.
I work fulltime outside the home in a high pressure environment with
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Well - I am trying to work 30 hours a week plus take classes towards a second degree. I don't get much help from family or from the ex. I'm exhausted. My ds is having such a hard time getting adjusted to his Dad's new wife-to-be and to a new house, etc. I have such a hard time dealing with meltdowns each day and trying to get going in the morning and getting to bed at night have been a nightmare since January.
The bosses at my job have been understanding about the difficulties I am facing and were willing to let me flex my time - but that is coming to an end. In the next month, if I can't get mornings at home under control and get my kid and myself out of the house on time so I can be to work on time, I will get written up. I really don't want to have such a thing on my permanent record!
I am seriously considering quitting. I have some savings, so I don't *need* to work right now - but I know it's not going to last for forever. So I am concerned about what'll happen in the future - if I am going to be able to hold down a job and do the majority of the child-rearing. Ack! (Ex has ds about 15% of the time and that's the way he likes it.)
I am glad that things are not worse! I try to count my blessings each day because I do have many of those. I also try to enjoy time spent with my ds. I also make sure I do something fun or relaxing for myself. That helps me keep going.
my situation may be unique, i work full time for my family's business. since son was born and the divorce i have taken an office job at the company (instead of field technician). money is less BUT son can come to work with me during vacations, snow/sick days etc. also i can get to drs. appts during the day without too much grief from work. the downside is that he can come to work with me. sometimes it's just too much togetherness. the times he
is having problems it does impact my work. it's difficult to write contracts or put my mind on anything productive when son is melting and needs constant attention. son will not attend any after school programs so after i pick him up from school he comes to work with me so i can finish my day's work. my parents have seen him at his worst while in the office. after work we come home & retreat to separate rooms for a while then try to do dinner, family time etc.
it's what i have and it works for now.
You know, I have to admit that I am a SAHM, and even being at home ALL DAY LONG, I still have trouble finding time for things like housework and meal planning. I know that sounds ridiculous, but my kids are so demanding. I love them dearly, but they require so much hands-on stuff and supervision. David, my 8 year old Aspie, especially. He constantly is wanting to show me things he built, or play with me. And when that isn't happening, you can bet that someone has just spilled a drink, bonked their head, had a sudden moment of AAAARRGG!, or SOMETHING.
There are so few hours in the day. My kids never stop, and never get tired. I am in awe of people who can work outside the home and still manage to have a relationship with their kids, keep them reasonably well-fed, and not go bonkers. And if we had David in any kind of therapy or AS programs, well, I just can't imagine. My hat's off to all of you who can juggle all that. It's all I can do to chew gum and walk at the same time.
We aren't made of money, but with my lack of skills and experience (BA in Anthropology, but not much more), I'd be extremely unlikely to get a job that offsets the cost of decent childcare, so I'll continue to be a SAHM.
Best of luck to you,
Evelyn
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