How was your day questions

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Registered: 07-02-2006
How was your day questions
8
Wed, 07-12-2006 - 10:42pm

After reading the posts regarding "migraines", I realized that I deal with "Fine" answers in response to "How was your day?" all the time. I thought it was a male thing! LOL! Every day when I ask Michael what he did at school (daycare), he says "good things". If I ask him who he played with, he responds "kids". I'm lucky if I can piece together a small portion of his day by the time he goes to bed. He does tell me when he had a bad day when I pick him up though.

Is this a common AS trait?

Kate

Michael (5), Sean (3)

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 1:13am

Well it is for me, and at 5 I would have LOVED to get as much response as you do. I had to train my kids to tell me about thier days and it is still an on going process.

For Mike his day was however the last 5 minuts were while he waited for me. He could have a citizenship report from lunch and lost recess for the next day, but if he was joking with his aide or JP in line or able to talk about his obsession de jour, it was a great day! Cait is getting better but it was loads of work.

I can't tell you how often I would find out some major thing a week or more after it happened. UGH, I hate that.

I worked on it by asking specific yet sort of open ended questions. "What did you do at recess?" "What did you eat for lunch?", "What was the best thing about today?" "What was the worst thing about today?".

That really bugged then to be asked all those questions so what I have done is to say "I will only ask 5 questions" (or however many they can handle) "If you let me do that and answer the best you can you will earn 5 marbles. One for each question". Sometimes I could get a conversation out of them, often it is very brief answers. I don't even have to do this with Cait usually anymore.

Renee

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Registered: 10-03-2004
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 3:59am

Yes, Malcolm usually says "Good", unless it was a hard day, in which case he now says "I don't want to talk abut it!" But if I ask very specific questions, like Renee, I get more response. So often, how we word the questions directs how much of an answer we get. "How was school today" is such a general, almost meaningless question.

These days, Malcolm is in process of a very thorough behaviorsl modification program at his new school, so I get a report about every period and activity all day from his teachers. This is very helpful in discussing his day, as I can have him look at the chart with me and we can discuss what the teachers wrote about how they perceived he was doing.

And, hey, it is a "guy" thing, too --- but particularly if your grownup guy is likely an un-dx'ed PDD of some sort. As I only live with 2 of them, I get so lonely!!!

Sara
ilovemalcolm

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Registered: 06-25-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 10:54am

LOL


I have so BTDT and I still struggle with this one. I used to ask Peter "what did you do/learn at school?" and he would invariably answer "Nothing". Then I got ticked off one day and said "Well, If you are not doing or learning anything at school, maybe I should take you out of there and find a new school?" He had already changed schools 4 times, so this was not an idle threat from his POV (it was from mine).


The next day I asked him "What did you learn at

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
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Registered: 02-20-2001
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 1:10pm
I always ask but rarely get answer w/o asking a more specific quesiton like :what do you ahve for snakc today" or "what did you play wtih"

 


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Registered: 05-02-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 2:02pm
If I don't ask Everett specific questions about his day I would get one word answers like "okay". If he has a horrible day I will get everything that happened from his point of view which is generally a little skewed. For example about a week before the end of this school year he was walking to after-school at the boys club with the rest of the group from his school when they walked by a grocery store and someone standing next to the store waiting to turn in their cans and bottles said that Everett touched them. Since we live in NYC you can run into some pretty weird people and the people that collect the cans and bottles to be turned in for the deposit are extremely possessive. The school parent coordinator was walking them over came over and started yelling at the person on the street to leave Everett alone and then had Everett apologize; that is the story from the parent coordinator. The story I got from Everett was that he was accused of stealing and the parent coordinator didn't believe him when he said he did nothing and getting that out of him was real task of asking extremely specific questions for about half and hour. Two totally different stories. So even if do ask specific questions I don't get real story.
One the other hand with Anita, non-AS, I get everything that happened in her day event by event with all of the specifics to the point where sometimes it is so detailed wish she would just give me a general overview. I get that out of "How was your day?".
 

 

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Registered: 06-03-2006
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 2:34pm
when son was started private school, the answer was "nothing". i explained to him that as a single mother paying $4,000.00 per year for school that answer was not acceptable.he had better be learning something.i picked him up and dropped him to school so i could usually read his mood then. i got clues from his lunch box and from the school paper that had to be signed.since he was very little, at bedtime, we would discuss the best and the not best part of the day. this is where i would find out most stuff.but lots of stuff i would find out from his cousins who attended the same school.
Avatar for googolplex
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Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 3:17pm

I distinctly remember that when I was in grade school, my dad would put down the paper and say, "Tell me...What did you do in school today?" I didn't know how to answer. I'd just say, "nothing." He, on the other hand, didn't know how to ask more specific questions. I remember that I'd kind of roll my eyes in annoyance when he asked the question, because I simply could not answer. Now, I suppose I could have said things like, "Jimmy made fun of my big feet." or "Yesim stopped speaking to Monica, because Monica is stuck-up." or "I was so grossed out by the little string of spit on Mr. Hamilton's lip, that I have no idea what he was telling us about Egypt, and yet I still managed to get an A on the quiz." But at the time, I guess it never occurred to me to share that kind of stuff.

I might post a bit more about my AS kid when I get a chance (gotta go eat my birthday bagel now), but my point is that I don't have AS, and I still had trouble with "how was your day" questions. Then again, I'm probably more "on the spectrum" than some people.

Evelyn

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Registered: 03-31-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 5:12pm

I can only repeat what everyone else has said -- it's definitely an ASD trait!!! With Sylvia, she answers the questions in the exact same way every day:

"What did you do in school today?"
"Played."
"What did you play with?"
"Toys."
"What kind of toys?"
"View master." (This is every day, remember, regardless of whether she'd actually played with a view master that day.)

Even specific questions have rote answers:

"What did you do in PT today?"
"Sit-ups, push-ups, and Pilates." (EVERY DAY.)

I have to say she's gotten a bit better -- especially when they did something she especially loved, she'll talk to me about it. But she NEVER tells me about the other kids in her class, and if I try to ask about them, she says, "NO TALKING ABOUT SCHOOL!!!"

I've found that my best bet is to ask her questions that I already sort of know the answer to and see if she'll expand on them. So, the note from the teacher will say that the class planted seeds that day, and I'll say:

"Did you plant seeds today?"
"Yes."
"What kind of seeds?"
If I'm lucky, she'll say, "Flower seeds." If I'm very lucky, she'll say, "I put them in the dirt and watered them and we'll wait for them to grow."

The way I look at it, she's learning how to have a conversation with me, and it's VERY slow going, but I do see some progress!

Jennifer :)