I am really FED UP with parenting!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
I am really FED UP with parenting!
18
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 9:10pm

Hi Everyone,

I am so sick and tired of trying to parent/discipline my son, who is 5 and has Asperger's, ADHD and is strong willed. I have a NT 7 year old DD. NOTHING WORKS with my ds.

I am probably just overtired and overwhelmed with DH out of town for a week on business, but I hate everything being a constant struggle and battle. I am sick of it. We feel as though nothing really works. I am tired of working so hard and not getting any kind of CONSISTENT results. I want to cry. I see mothers at the library or around town and want to say, "I used to be that type of mother too." Now I am the stressed out, frazzled mother with the edge to her voice. And I know you all think he behaves badly because we don't parent him, but believe me that isn't the case. We probably work 5x harder than you do."

Every outing or event is stressful and challenging. Nothing is ever relaxing. We still manage to do a lot as a family....go minigolfing, to the beach, bowling, playground, boating, etc. But it is never easy. Never. I do go out with my girlfriend once a week and my husband and I spell each other but this is so HARD and the cumulative effect of has me really worn down.

Did I mention we are starting kindergarten in the fall? Total stress. We do have a good plan though it breaks my heart. We are starting him in special ed and he will transition as he is able to regular ed. He will have an aide in place.

We have an appt. with the pediatrician on 7/18 and I am going to inquire about some meds for ds. I have to do it at age 5 but he is dominating the whole family dynamic. Maybe they can help with the hyperactivity/impulse control issues. Does anyone else use meds with their child successfully? Did anyone start at age 5 or so?

Chrissy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2001
Sat, 07-14-2007 - 9:26pm

Well we are sorta in limbo right now.

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Sat, 07-14-2007 - 9:55pm
Janet,
Thank you for your kind words. I am a teacher too - fifth grade. :) Nice to "meet you".
Chrissy
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2003
Sat, 07-14-2007 - 9:57pm
We don't even have an "autism support class". Even though our elem. school has 1,000 kids K-4, we have just ONE special ed class at each grade level. Our kdg. is all day. I sometimes think that is good and sometimes wish it wasn't as I think DS might have a prayer holding it together better for a shorter day. :)
Chrissy
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2001
Sat, 07-14-2007 - 10:10pm

wow! no autism support?!?!

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Sat, 07-14-2007 - 11:21pm

From one mom to another (((hugs)))! My ds is 5 (officially PDD-NOS) and starting kindy in the fall too! I didn't know how many of us there were!!

With your dh away a whole week it must be very difficult. My ds sounds very similar to yours. He is an only child. We are going to start in mainstream kindy with support(aide, speech, ot/sensory breaks) 7% of his day. We only have a half day. I'm starting to get myself worked up about it.

We have not tried meds. At his 5 year well child visit I was talking to the ped about his "new" dx (dec 06) and he did say we may eventually want to consider meds for anxiety.

This coming week we have a clinical psychologist coming to our home to help us with behaviors. Nothing really works. Sometimes the things we do at home help some, but sometimes nothing helps. She is highly recommended and I hope so much that we can find something that works for our family. I just want peace in this home!

GL with the ped appointment.

Molly

Molly
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2007
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 12:37am

Chrissy,

Sorry I didn't tell ya before! My ds is going to be in mainstream kindy, BUT.... all the kindy kids are in ONE building in our city! AND... ds has been attending a preschool for kids with developmental disabilities in that same building for the past two years...so he is very familiar with the building. Not to mention, they would incorporate the preschool kids into alot of the kindy activities and stuff....like PTA fundraisers, assemblys, library days, school yearbook..etc. So in a way, he is sorta used to the surroundings. The way it works here is, ALL kindy students start the year as half-day students. Then the teachers and principal, along with others, determine which students need the most help, and then those students are put in the all day class at about a month or so into the school year. It's a little inconvenient to change all of a sudden like that, but I'm glad they look at how they are in the FALL rather than going solely by their kindy screening from May!
Good luck hon...I'm sure everything will calm down soon and things will fall into place!
Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2007
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 6:15pm

Chrissy,

I attended a workshop by Dr. Katherine Leslie, who spoke about reactive attachment disorder, but she had some advice that would work for parents of autistic children. She suggested to leave the autistic child with a babysitter or relative when the family had outings. If the "babysitter" makes it fun for the child, it usually won't be that big of deal to him/her. I felt like this was unfair for the child, but she said that outings such as these put a lot of pressure on the ASL child to behave, which leads to anxiety and more misbehaving. It difinitely makes the family outing more enjoyable for the others. This doesn't mean to ALWAYS exclude him, but when you know it's going to be a long day, it might be a good time to find an alternative activity for him.

My son is 6, and I know exactly how you feel. It's a struggle to even go shopping for groceries with him. He gets OVERSTIMULATED so easily. I am trying to find ways to not make him feel left out, but also to not place him in situations that will lead to "melt downs."

Good luck,
Cristi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-15-2007 - 8:13pm

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