I fired off this e-mail to Dr. Phil.

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Registered: 01-22-2005
I fired off this e-mail to Dr. Phil.
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Tue, 01-17-2006 - 6:21pm

Dear Dr. Phil,

This afternoon I watched your show on Extreme Disorders and Asperger's Syndrome.

I have to say I was very disappointed. I don't feel you gave a fair accounting of Asperger's Syndrome. I fell your views were very one sided and slanted.

I have a 9 year old son with Asperger's.

My son is quirky, he can be difficult, what 9 year old is perfect at all times? But he is absolutely not violent. He has never raged against another person.

He is an intelligent little boy. He is a kind little boy. He is the most caring and loving person I have ever met.

Asperger's, to me, is not a disease. It is a disorder. Asperger's is not terminal.

My son requires some special education help; speech therapy, social therapy, occupational therapy. He takes a bit more time to read than others his age. But he is an extremely smart little boy.

I'm truly sorry you didn't mention any of the more beautiful points of Asperger's. Instead, you focused on the extreme negative.

Asperger's does not equal violence. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that people will now be afraid of people with Asperger's.

I wish you would have presented Asperger's from both sides. I wish you would have been more responsible in you representation of Asperger's Syndrome.

I'm an incredibly proud mom of an exceptional little boy that just happens to have Asperger's Syndrome.

Please take these thoughts to heart before you portray another disorder so unfairly.

Crystal Hanson

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Avatar for littleroses
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Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 4:01pm
delete


Edited 4/1/2006 10:29 am ET by littleroses
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Registered: 01-10-2005
Fri, 01-20-2006 - 3:18pm

I fired off and email as well:


I am a parent of an Autistic child. My four year-old daughter was diagnosed with PDD-NOS a few months ago.


On behalf of all Autistic parents everywhere, I am highly disappointed and borderline disgusted regarding your recent show on Asperger's Syndrome. You did NOT present both sides of Asperger's Syndrome and now I am certain that even more people will be afraid of children with Asperger's.


I realize that you stated that it was an "extreme case", but why did you have to show an extreme case? Why didn't you show good cases as well? These children should not be feared, they should be accepted and loved. The American populous is now scared of Autistic children because of your show.


Children with Autism are LOVING indivials who are dying to be understood by those who don't understand. I sat here crying after your show because you made my daughter's life ten times harder than it already is.


My daughter is a beautiful, loving, innocent creature that is only willing to please. Thank you for tagging Autistic children as children who should be feared by society.


Kyra Arnold
Mom of THREE fabulous children

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Avatar for springolife
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Registered: 05-09-2003
Sun, 01-22-2006 - 5:53pm

Renee,
In defense of Jane Pauley's show, I wanted to say that it is because of her show I discovered that my daughter and I have AS and in turn knew where to turn to get treatment. I knew that she couldn't say everything about AS, but my mom suggested I watch the show and then I recorded it when it was reaired a week or so later. The day she told me about AS (after she watched Pauley the first time it aired,) I got online immediately and read all I could and took the aspie tests online. My daughter has been in ECI for 2 years and they just didn't have a clue what was wrong with her. I did recently get a diagnosis of AS and am working on getting treatment for my daughter, although it's primarily done by me.

Unfortunately for Dr Phil, if I had seen his episode on AS, I may have seen myself in the raging teen, but it wouldn't have given me enough information to realize that my daughter and I may have AS. I mean, it looked just as much BPD as AS. And because he did begin his show with the news reports on the murderer with AS, and spoke about aspies inability to control emotions and the father said he's really afraid of their son, it made aspies look like monsters. We don't want the public to fear those with AS, even if there are some out there who rage. I can't imagine that DR Phil really meant to say 'disease' I hope that was mearly a slip of the tongue.

As for my personal experience with raging:
I was self injurious. I would bang my head and bite myself. As I got a little older and could voice my opinion I screamed and said "I hate you" and "I wish you'd die!" My mom thought I was possessed and tried to cast the demons out, but she was never afraid for her own safety. My daughter used to bang her head. Now she just screams and throws things. She's three. What I have found is that for myself, I get what "The Explosive Child" calls vapor lock. I get to the point that my mind freezes up and I can't think through the situation. That's when a meltdown occurs. What I say could be considered 'ticks.' Usually the meltdowns follow too much stimulai.

Alex was screamed at too much. Admittedly, my husband and I have screamed at our aspie. It's hard sometimes. Actually, having a child with AS can be extremely difficult. I have noticed, though, that when we stay calm and help K back from the brink of a meltdown, things are much better. Alex was speaking amazingly calm much of the time that he was being yelled out. I was impressed with him. His behaviour wasn't what I found so appaling, but his parents.

Just to add, those of us with AS are horrified at DR Phil's show. We feel betrayed. We feel that we have no voice. IF he did a show on people of a certain race or religion and prefaced it with news clips like he did, then there would be a huge outcry and he would be chastised for his insensitivity and prejudice.

Avatar for springolife
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Registered: 05-09-2003
Sun, 01-22-2006 - 6:03pm

Kira, was Kayleigh a preemie? My Kailey will be three Monday, although her adjusted age she would be three the end of April. She's the one with AS. Then I have a 2 YO (come Feb 22) and an 8 month old.

Happy birthday Kayleigh!

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 01-22-2006 - 6:44pm

I had checked back in here because I had heard there were some nice posts I should check so I am here briefly but I have figured out it was a mistake. I have tried to respond to this post 3 times and I just can't seem to do it.

I never said Dr. Phil did a good show. I said that most shows do not show an accurate portrayal of AS or of the whole spectrum but that this was the first time a show had dealt with an issue we deal with.

It isnt the comments about the show I have a problem with it is the reactions toward the parents of kids who rage and the lack of support for families of kids who do rage that I have issue with.

You said you didn't see the show and yet you say the show made aspies look like monsters and that the parents screamed too much, etc. How can you know that if you didn't even see the show? How do we know that they parents are actually like that or if it was editted to show how much stress was in the family so it showed alot of shouting? Sure they made mistakes, don't we all? I gave up throwing stones a while ago though. I have enough of my own struggles than to worry about someone elses parenting skills.

You too are quick to blame parents you never met. Your right about Alex, I was impressed by him too. I thought he was an amazing young man who struggles with impulse control and rages and is sad about that. I saw him trying to use his words appropriately and ask to be left alone. How does that make aspie's look like monsters?

By the way. I am not afraid for my own safety either. Fortunately I have learned enough about Mike to difuse the situation. There have been bumps and bruises but he has never done anything to me that I would be that concerned. The only time I get anxious is when we are in a public place and he starts to escalate and I am not sure how I will get him out safely (his and everyone elses) without too many stares.

On the other hand there have been situations where Mike could have caused one of the other kids serious injury because he didn't realize what he was doing. For instance, once Dave was doing "potty talk" and wouldn't stop. Mike was worried that Dave would get in trouble and was covering his face with a pillow. Fortunately I caught him. He can't be trusted for things like that because he doens't realize what could happen but I don't fear for my life because he is some monster.

Renee

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Avatar for springolife
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Registered: 05-09-2003
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 3:01pm

Renee, I wasn't saying anything negative to you about anything you posted, I was just saying that Jane Pauley was a life saver for me. I never said that you thought Dr Phil did a good show, either. I'm sorry you seem so upset/ perhaps hostile? I hope you don't feel that way based on something I said, because it seems that you totally misunderstood my post.

I did watch the DR Phil show, I don't know what you were talking about. And I have heard from many parents who felt that DR Phil made aspies look like monsters, as well as from aspies themselves.

As for stress perhaps inducing the shouting, I'm sure that it did. As I said, I have been known to do so at my own children. It's just that I can't imagine that the cameras were there over a very long period of time. In order to record that much yelling, you'd have to have a camera in my house for a few weeks. Although, my daughter does enough yelling for the rest of us!!

I'm not throwing stones, and resent that you are insinuating such. What I am concerned about is that Alex is responding as anyone, especially an aspie, would respond in such an enviroment. And yet the broadcast made it seem that violence is typical aspie behaviour, rather then a response of someone in a stressful and volitile enviroment (no matter what their diagnosis.)

Alex isn't what makes aspies look like monsters. It was the news clips and statements made by DR Phil and his parents. Alex did an excellent job and would love to see him as a guest absent all the other stuff.

Please don't be so upset with me. I never intended to cause problems. Keep in mind that I do have AS and know how it feels to be in Alexe's situation. People easily misunderstand me, and perhaps you are one of those who think I mean one thing when I really mean something else enitrely.

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Registered: 10-09-2003
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 2:12pm

I finally got around to watching the show yesterday with DH.

~ Chelsea
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Registered: 01-10-2005
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 2:17pm

Yes, Kayleigh was a 32-weeker.


Thank you for the birthday wishes :)

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Registered: 06-25-2003
Mon, 01-30-2006 - 10:30pm

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Well said, Chelsea! ITA!

(how are you?)

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

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