I have a pacifier junky...help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2007
I have a pacifier junky...help!
9
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 9:25pm
o.k. jack is 3.8 yrs and dx with pdd-nos. despite his 'quirks' and some sensory issues, jack has been a generally laid back child and has transitioned very easily from certain stages. for example, he gave up his bottles very easily, tranisitioned into his big boy bed without much fuss, resisted potty training for awhile but then woke up 2 months ago and told me 'no more diapers thank you mommy'. he has spoiled me in these areas save one....the BINKY! he is a junky! now, he has never 'needed' one in public (i.e. stores, playdates, etc. he seems to understand the age inappropriateness) but when we are in our house it's a different story. depending on his mood for the day, he may walk around with one all day then there are days when he doesn't want it or seek it out but bedtime it's always a must.
i know of all the ways to 'end' it (giving them to a younger family member, cutting them so they are less pleasurable, etc.) but since he has given up other things up so easily what's his resistance to this? i don't want to traumatize him and take away something (maybe the only thing) that brings him comfort when he's on overload. we have discussed this at length with him in preparation, but i was hoping for some input from others before i make any final decisions.
thanks,
anne
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Registered: 09-09-2005
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 9:33pm

Well seeing that Liam didn't give up his binky until last year (he was almost 6) I would say 3.8 is still young, lol!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2007
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 9:51pm
well that's the thing...i forgot to mention that i do think it may be shifting his bottom teeth. now, my husband (who is not as sympathetic) is convinced the binky is destroying his teeth while i feel as though it may be contributing to the shift i did not have straight teeth and he may be just taking after me. my husband has agreed to relax about it BUT he thinks we should bring him to a dentist to have a professional opinion. i'm not too happy about that (although it is a fair compromise) since i already know what a dentist is going to say about this.
but thanks for letting me know that jack is not the only binky lover! ha-ha
anne
p.s. how did your child stop?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 10:07pm

Jack sounds just like Hayden! When Hayden was 3.4, I took all of his binkeys and cut the tips off of them, put them in a bowl, and presented him with the bowl. He went thru every binkey, and said they were all broken. I told him he would not get new binkeys b/c he was 3 yrs old, and 3 yr olds don't need them. And that was that! So easy I could not belive it! And his baby brother, Mason was still taking a binkey, same brand as Hayden's, just a different nipple. I hope the same thing works when we eliminate Mason's binkey usage! We were VERY lucky. I hope you find something that works. In my opinion, if its too traumatic, I would not take it away.

Chrissy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2006
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 10:16pm

BTW, our PEDIATRIC dentist said that his teeth would move back after I took it away, and about 2 months after he quit using it, they went back. His teeth had a VERY small space when he bit down, they didn't touch, now they do. Tell that to your dh, lol.

Chrissy

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Avatar for littleroses
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Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 02-04-2007 - 11:18pm

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Registered: 11-28-2006
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 12:07am

Ya, I tend to agree with everyone here.... If its a comfort, why worry about it? I remember sucking on my two fingers littleroses as a child. I remember the comfort it gave me and no way in heck could I stop. But I finally did lol. In fact sometimes I try to imitate it just to see how it feels. It does feel good, but not so much to were I do it now. I just remember the memories of doing it.

My parents thank god didn't stop me either.

I think society is the one that looks down on stuff like this, pressure with other people judging us, or our kids.

I hate to do what society says to do, I always do the opposite if its in the interest to how my child feels.

Lainie

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2007
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 7:40am
thank you all....i feel better knowing that jack's not the only one. i need to have confidence in my son that when he is ready then it will happen. right now i don't feel he is 100% there so i don't think i will even give him a nudge right now. and very interesting about the teeth shifting back...that makes me feel better!
anne
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 11:04am
anne, my ds (28 months) still takes his pacifier for naps and bedtime. I was starting to stress about it too. glad you posted about it.
Now I don't feel so bad either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
Mon, 02-05-2007 - 3:30pm

My AS son is also right around 3.8 years I guess (he'll be 4 at the end of May) and he's still taking a bottle, even during the day some. I'm trying to decrease to just bedtime right now, but I intend to let him have it till he's ready to give it up. I also sucked my two fingers till I was 7 or 8 and aside from a little finger shape weirdness, there were no residual effects - except boy did it help me stay calm sometimes.

Glad to hear we're in good company. We're also not forcing the potty training issue here. Riley had it and then totally gave it up, and we're slowly working back here. But, we're taking our cue from him. Don't get me wrong, we by no means let our kids walk all over us, we believe a child with rules and structure is a happy child - but I believe there are some issues that the harder you force them (esp. potty training) the more they backfire. Binkies, bottles - they won't last forever.

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