i need help
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| Sat, 10-07-2006 - 2:21pm |
I do apologize for not being on for such a long time. I've been having issues at home and am in need of some help and advice.
On Sept 1st, I filed for divorce. Dh was becoming very possessive, controlling, and his anger and moodiness has not gotten better. His patience and understanding with the boys was still a problem as well. I was uncomfortable being around him, and uncomfortable with his unpredicatability and his sneaking around the house. I felt as though I was being watched all the time.
Anyway, my problem.....
I have been a SAHM since Nathan was born. He is now 7 and Tyler is 10. We have to sell the house, probably move into an apartment. The judge has granted me 1/2 of dh's monthly income. I am being told by my attorney, dh's attorney, and my therapist (who I have been seeing for about a month now)...that I need to get a job. HOW?? I have no one to take care of Nathan. True...I could put Tyler in an afterschool program, which they do offer at his school. But who do I get to take care of an autistic child? And actually be able to afford this type of care? And what about holidays, days off of school, and summer vacation?? School is draining for Nathan, he needs to have time after school ....quiet time. I don't know what to do. It would be ideal to get a job with the school district, that way I have the same days off as the boys do. But I need to know what other options I have, if this is not possible.
I could probably make it, financially, not working. But dh works off of commission, and there may be months I receive less money. I don't know what to do. The judge has also ordered that I am not allowed to speak to any males..other than the friendly "hi". Dh has painted a picture of me being an adulteress and having affairs with every man on the planet. My attorney has told me that the judge CAN do this. Unfortunately, I only have a couple of friends, who happen to be male. So I am lost right now, have no one to talk to. I don't see my therapist for a few days now.
I am extremely depressed right now and crying an awful lot. Filing for divorce was the best thing to do for me and boys...emotionally. But financially, I just want enough to get by.....and i'm just not sure I can manage this.
michelle

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Have you thought about working in the education field? Either a university/junior college
I was kind of wondering that myself Dee.
How can a judge dictate in his/her right mind dictate half of what this jerk said. Saying that she has to get a job and sel the family home plus dictate who she can and can not associate with.
I sort of understand the house and job but only a little bit. Most divorce cases that I know of ususally allow the main custodial parent to keep the house at least till the kids are grown.The idea is to not mess up a child's routine that much more. Also with the job. What if your boss happens to be a male? Will that go against the rules?
Personally your lawyer is an idiot to allow some of that dictates to occur. I might suggest terms of agreement to be a home study. Serious counseling for the whole family so that a licesnced professional therapist agreed upon by the court can help decide what might be best for the kids. Esp with your aspy kid. And tell your soon to be exh that when the happens then you can decide how to start. But start also documenting everything your STBX accuses you of. Even keep a journal/log of everything you are doing. to show what you are doing in good faith. Also to prove you are not seening any men, which by the way if you are seperated legal is nobody's business even the jusge, if it occured after the seperation.
I am sorry but something totally does not sound right here.
The judge sounds very conservative or something that i can't put my finger on
Rina
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